Wishing all my American friends a happy 4th July

[Jo Freddie]

Here is a truly wondrous image for you

Rejoice, The One True God, Blessed be His Noodly Appendages.

[Cranky Old Man]

Re: Wishing all my American friends a happy 4th July

Have fun there in America!

[Jo Freddie]

Re: Wishing all my American friends a happy 4th July

The One True God on the 4th July

[BelieverInGod]

Re: Wishing all my American friends a happy 4th July

And here I thought you were being nice. No it's always an ulterior motive with you

[Phebe Carlyle]

Re: Wishing all my American friends a happy 4th July

And here I thought you were being nice. No it's always an ulterior motive with you

Yes it is Sister and they are ALWAYS graven images (of his false god), to boot!!

I do hope that all my American counterparts have had a wonderful 4th July thus far.

YIC,

Mrs.P.Wintersnow.

[Jo Freddie]

Re: Wishing all my American friends a happy 4th July

Yes it is Sister and they are ALWAYS graven images (of his false god), to boot!!

graven - cut into a desired shape; "graven images"; "sculptured representations"

These were not "Sculptured"
They are not Graven Images.
They are examples of the work of His Noodly Appendages revealing His from to His Creation.

[Phebe Carlyle]

Re: Wishing all my American friends a happy 4th July

graven - cut into a desired shape; "graven images"; "sculptured representations"

These were not "Sculptured"
They are not Graven Images.
They are examples of the work of His Noodly Appendages revealing His from to His Creation.

Look,

I don't care what definition your a la carte, or al fresco dictionary gives it.
Fireworks are a man made thing, and made to "pop" in a certain way.
You may see it as it as your stupid pasta god revealing itself, but we all know that it was just the result of some stupid chink or messican putting the gunpowder and stuff into the wrong popping holes.

YIC,

Mrs.P.Wintersnow

[Jo Freddie]

Re: Wishing all my American friends a happy 4th July

Look,

I don't care what definition your a la carte, or al fresco dictionary gives it.
Fireworks are a man made thing, and made to "pop" in a certain way.
You may see it as it as your stupid pasta god revealing itself, but we all know that it was just the result of some stupid chink or messican putting the gunpowder and stuff into the wrong popping holes.

YIC,

Mrs.P.Wintersnow

Feeling a bit miffed Ms W. because your "god" did not put in an appearance?

[Phebe Carlyle]

Re: Wishing all my American friends a happy 4th July

Feeling a bit miffed Ms W. because your "god" did not put in an appearance?

Not at all. The Lord Jesus Christ dwells deep within me and has no need to flaunt Himself with such garish and gaudy display.

You NEED "signs" like those stupid cathlicks. True Christians™, don't.

YIC,

Mrs.P.Wintersnow

[Jo Freddie]

Re: Wishing all my American friends a happy 4th July

You NEED "signs" like those stupid cathlicks. True Christians™, don't.

I smell someone trying to rationalise their "imaginary friends" no show.

[James Hutchins]

Re: Wishing all my American friends a happy 4th July

We had a marvelous 4th here at the Hutchins plantation. There was a day full of fun and activities for all.

In the morning, we had the Hutchins version of a piñata. We tied a sheep (Miss Dolly) to a post in the ground, blindfolded the kids and gave them baseball bats. The first one that cause the sheep to collapse, one. Little David one this year. For a five year old, he has a heck of a swing, I thought the sheep's head was going to come clear off.
Next we had a wash off for the nigresses. No one can ever say we do not let the help have fun too. Each of the Hutchins gathered their most stained personal clothing. Then I assigned a negress to scrub it. Mrs. Hutchins was the judge. All the little ones would encourage the washer women, ranting out loud, "Scrub it darkie! Get rid of all the poo stains!" It is so wonderful to see races of all colors get along so well. The winner gets an extra lamb chop at dinner and the animals pelt (after they skin it.)
Next we had the 'messican beaner in a burlap bag' race. This one is certainly one of my favorites. What you do is take a messican beaner, stuff him in a burlap sack, tie closed real good, then you roll him down the hill. Once you let him go, you cannot touch him with your hands, you can only use a stick to correct his course tumbling down the rock strewn mountain. First conscious beaner to the bottom wins the stick jabber prize. This year Mary won a Glock 9mm.
For lunch, we had a huge spread of barbecued chicken, pork ribs and pulled pork.
In the afternoon (it got close to 100 today) we had a swimming race in the Hutchins new pool. The old one was only 20 meters long and had just six lanes. This new one is 50 meters long by 20 meters wide. we also went to a 10 meter depth at the deep end to enable a 10 meter high dive. Once again, James Jr. won both the swim race and the diving competition. For the little Hutchins, we did the 'bobbling nigra' where we toss a greased nigra baby in the water and let the little ones fight over it. The first one to get it to the pool side, wins. This year, we had two winners, little Moe and the babies mother as this nigra baby did not require resuscitation.
In the evening, we ate Miss Dolly (the lamb from the mornings game) and Herbert the pig.
After dinner the men went off for our traditional 'Shot and Shoot'. This game is played by taking a shot of #7, then a singe shot at your target. Each man takes a turn. This continues until either a target is missed, a shot is spilled, a participant falls over or someone gets shot by accident. Unfortunately, this year, only a few shots were taken before the the game ended. Ebenezer Ziffel accidentally shot his wife who was standing behind him. She will be missed.
Then it was my favorite time - Fireworks! We do not like fancy fireworks at all. We are believers in the rule that half the fun is making them yourself. So all the kids spent the last few months in the explosives shack working on their displays. Construction time went fairly incident free though baby Bobby did lose a thumb in an accidental premature ignition. On the plus side, he no longer has anything to suck on and can start behaving like a man, he is two after all. The best explosion of the night was the Grand Finale (made by me of course). I used an abandoned ATF GMC Suburban. I put it on logs and anchored it in the middle of Coal Mine lake. Inside was 6 20 gallon can of propane (covered with shaped charges to cut the cans) , 200 pounds of C4, all smothered in a paste of magnesium, sulfur, copper, aluminum and other metals. Man O' man, when that went off, Jesus Himself must of taken note. My ears are still ringing!


There must of been over 100 people in attendance! I have the kids out now making sure no bodies are left about and cleaning the place up. Nothing better than a holiday with friends, neighbors and even employees, all having a good time, celebrating their independence.

[Levi Jones]

Re: Wishing all my American friends a happy 4th July

I got to spend the day with two catlicks, a whole bunch of the Truest Christians you have ever met and even the President pro-tem of the Arizona state senate. He's a staunch Republican. He's a real Christian man with six children. My nephew is dating his oldest daughter.

He's a really cool guy. He even made sure the announcer knew he was there to recognize him.

[Ruckus]

Re: Wishing all my American friends a happy 4th July

I just wish there my 4th was only white. After all it was the white man that made us great. God bless the white man.