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With all the talk of illegals these days, my husband, Mr. Whitford, decided to get rid of all our Mexican't staff, even those who claimed to have been born in Chilly or Los Angeles (yeah right! We can recognize the Mexican't "language" when we hear it, Pedro).
I saw this as a good thing, because Mr. Whitford said it was, and we could probably unlock the liquor cabinet again, depending on who replaced the wetbacks. Well, I know I should have kept my big mouth shut, but when the funniest little midget fellow came in to apply for the gardener position, I just had to have him! Mr. Whitford agreed that this tiny man couldn't do any worse than Whan the Mexican't, so to my delight he hired him on the spot!
The first sign of trouble was when the munchkin kept getting angry and insisting I call him "Bill" instead of "Stumpy Pocketwatch". Who knew someone so small could get so uppity!
Then he kept yelling at me that he's a "dwarf, not a midget," and "midget is offensive," that we're supposed to refer to them as "little people". I set him straight, let me tell you! I don't let nigras or sodomites tell me not to call them on their sin, I'm not about to let him do it either!
So opening the KJV1611 Bible I always have on me, I opened it right up to Leviticus and started quoting scripture to him.
Leviticus 21:18 For whatsoever man he be that hath a blemish, he shall not approach: a blind man, or a lame, or he that hath a flat nose, or any thing superfluous,
21:19 Or a man that is brokenfooted, or brokenhanded,
21:20 Or crookbackt, or a dwarf, or that hath a blemish in his eye, or be scurvy, or scabbed, or hath his stones broken;
21:21 No man that hath a blemish of the seed of Aaron the priest shall come nigh to offer the offerings of the LORD made by fire: he hath a blemish; he shall not come nigh to offer the bread of his God.
That shut him up, let me tell you! He made some sort of single-horned devil sign at me, then went back to work, refusing to sing! Yes, Walter Disney's movies are of the world, but I saw "Snow White" when I was a young girl, and all I wanted him to do was sing "Hi Ho". The ingrate!
I couldn't stay angry at him for long though. The sight of his cursed little legs stomping around and his chubby little fingers trying to hold a rake like a normal person was too much, so I spent the rest of the afternoon on the porch with a jug of lemonade, having a good, decent laugh at the spectacle of this cutest little freak trying to pretend he's a big person. I figured I'd let Mr. Whitford have a talk with the teensy guy before going back to witness at the YMCA the next day.
You'd never believe it. Stumpy didn't show up the next day until late in the after noon, and he had a Joo lawyer with him! I'm being sued for "creating a hostile workplace" and "hurting his feelings" or something like that! First the wrongful death lawsuit, and now this? True Christians™ are certainly a big target in this country these days!
Stumpy is too hideous to give an offering to the Lord, but in our true Christian compassion, my husband, Mr. Whitford, and I gave him a decent job in the safest neighborhood in America, and this is how he repays us!
Political correctness has gone TOO FAR if you can't even enjoy a quiet chuckle at the shrunken monstrosities who walk God's Earth!
We'll have the last laugh. We've already hired some slant gardener whose "ching chong" talking just complete leaves me in stitches!
I saw this as a good thing, because Mr. Whitford said it was, and we could probably unlock the liquor cabinet again, depending on who replaced the wetbacks. Well, I know I should have kept my big mouth shut, but when the funniest little midget fellow came in to apply for the gardener position, I just had to have him! Mr. Whitford agreed that this tiny man couldn't do any worse than Whan the Mexican't, so to my delight he hired him on the spot!
The first sign of trouble was when the munchkin kept getting angry and insisting I call him "Bill" instead of "Stumpy Pocketwatch". Who knew someone so small could get so uppity!
Then he kept yelling at me that he's a "dwarf, not a midget," and "midget is offensive," that we're supposed to refer to them as "little people". I set him straight, let me tell you! I don't let nigras or sodomites tell me not to call them on their sin, I'm not about to let him do it either!
So opening the KJV1611 Bible I always have on me, I opened it right up to Leviticus and started quoting scripture to him.
Leviticus 21:18 For whatsoever man he be that hath a blemish, he shall not approach: a blind man, or a lame, or he that hath a flat nose, or any thing superfluous,
21:19 Or a man that is brokenfooted, or brokenhanded,
21:20 Or crookbackt, or a dwarf, or that hath a blemish in his eye, or be scurvy, or scabbed, or hath his stones broken;
21:21 No man that hath a blemish of the seed of Aaron the priest shall come nigh to offer the offerings of the LORD made by fire: he hath a blemish; he shall not come nigh to offer the bread of his God.
That shut him up, let me tell you! He made some sort of single-horned devil sign at me, then went back to work, refusing to sing! Yes, Walter Disney's movies are of the world, but I saw "Snow White" when I was a young girl, and all I wanted him to do was sing "Hi Ho". The ingrate!
I couldn't stay angry at him for long though. The sight of his cursed little legs stomping around and his chubby little fingers trying to hold a rake like a normal person was too much, so I spent the rest of the afternoon on the porch with a jug of lemonade, having a good, decent laugh at the spectacle of this cutest little freak trying to pretend he's a big person. I figured I'd let Mr. Whitford have a talk with the teensy guy before going back to witness at the YMCA the next day.
You'd never believe it. Stumpy didn't show up the next day until late in the after noon, and he had a Joo lawyer with him! I'm being sued for "creating a hostile workplace" and "hurting his feelings" or something like that! First the wrongful death lawsuit, and now this? True Christians™ are certainly a big target in this country these days!
Stumpy is too hideous to give an offering to the Lord, but in our true Christian compassion, my husband, Mr. Whitford, and I gave him a decent job in the safest neighborhood in America, and this is how he repays us!
Political correctness has gone TOO FAR if you can't even enjoy a quiet chuckle at the shrunken monstrosities who walk God's Earth!
We'll have the last laugh. We've already hired some slant gardener whose "ching chong" talking just complete leaves me in stitches!
. Most people down here know that the so-called country of Australia is no more than New Zealand's 'West Island' 
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