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  • Carbolic Acid: The Cure for Female Masturbation?

    The Lord has placed a burden on my heart these days.

    I spend a great deal of time thinking about teenagers masturbating. Some days I will see a young man or young woman, and I will imagine them pleasuring themselves in the shower as JESUS looks on in disappointment.

    When I look up masturbation on the internet I find nothing but pornography and secular science clamoring to justify self-abuse.

    I decided that if I wanted real answers on this topic, I would have to seek them from books written a hundred years ago.

    GOD told me to seek out a solution from the inventor of Corn Flakes, and He led me to John Harvey Kellogg's fascinating and informative book, "Plain Facts for Old and Young."

    Eagerly, I went to chapter 11 and started reading about how to treat the dreadful practice of masturbation.

    A lot of the information contained in the book is stuff that True Christians already know, such as tying hands to a bed post, avoiding solitude, and not eating foods that make you randy.

    However, I was greatly excited to see that Kellogg also offers advice that has long been forgotten and abandoned by society.

    On page 296, Kellogg prescribes an effective and simple treatment for female masturbation:

    In females, the author has found the application of pure carbolic acid to the clitoris an excellent means of allaying the abnormal excitement, and preventing the recurrence of the practice in those whose will-power has become so weakened that the patient is unable to exercise entire self-control.
    It's so simple!

    Why didn't we think of that?

    A few drops of acid on the privates of your daughter or wife and you can give her a little preview of the searing flames of HELL that await her!

    Does anybody know where our church could purchase pure carbolic acid in bulk for distribution to True Christian homes and schools?

    This information was surely sent to me by GOD, and I believe that it is just in time to save this wayward generation of sassy harlots!

    Praise!
    sigpic
    The eyes of the LORD are in every place, beholding the evil and the good.
    - Proverbs 15:3

    CHILDREN'S STORY: TIMMY ON TRIAL


    CHRISTIAN ADVICE AND MESSAGES OF HOPE! GOD'S GREATEST HITS!



  • #2
    Re: Carbolic Acid: The Cure for Female Masturbation?

    I've glanced it over. Seems like the man was a real Christian! Where is wonderful medical advice like this in this day and age?
    PROOF: Atheists are too stupid to understand the Bible!

    Proverbs 13:24(KJV): "He that spareth his rod hateth his son: but he that loveth him chasteneth him betimes."

    Galatians 4:16 Am I therefore become your enemy, because I tell you the truth?

    Comment


    • #3
      Re: Carbolic Acid: The Cure for Female Masturbation?

      An interesting rediscovery, Brother Bob. I often find it useful to look back to the wisdom of the 19th century for guidance. This nation has strayed too far from its Biblical roots.

      However, I do have one concern. Does carbolic acid cause lasting damage to that most sinful component of a woman's ladybits, or is this just another way of skirting around Jesus' clear instructions to remove any body parts that lead to sinfulness? If all it does is burn a little and cause temporary numbness, I think we're better off having our ladyfolk do like they do in Africa and just scoop the thing out. It's not like they need it to make babies... no more necessary than tonsils. It's one of the few things the jigaboos got right... that, and making it a capital offense to be a fag.

      Heck, Jesus said to cut off useful body parts, like hands, feet and eyes if they lead to sinfulness. Really, I can't see any reason not to remove every woman's clitoris... shortly after birth, perhaps; or maybe later, like on their Sweet Sixteenth.

      Mark 9:43-48
      And if thy hand offend thee, cut it off: it is better for thee to enter into life maimed, than having two hands to go into hell, into the fire that never shall be quenched:
      Where their worm dieth not, and the fire is not quenched.
      And if thy foot offend thee, cut it off: it is better for thee to enter halt into life, than having two feet to be cast into hell, into the fire that never shall be quenched:
      Where their worm dieth not, and the fire is not quenched.
      And if thine eye offend thee, pluck it out: it is better for thee to enter into the kingdom of God with one eye, than having two eyes to be cast into hell fire:
      Where their worm dieth not, and the fire is not quenched.
      II Thessalonians 1:7-9
      And to you who are troubled rest with us, when the Lord Jesus shall be revealed from heaven with his mighty angels,
      In flaming fire taking vengeance on them that know not God, and that obey not the gospel of our Lord Jesus Christ:
      Who shall be punished with everlasting destruction from the presence of the Lord, and from the glory of his power



      The man who is being progressively sanctified will inescapably sanctify his home, school, politics, economics, science, and all things else by understanding and interpreting all things in terms of the Word of God and by bringing all things under the Dominion of Christ the King. -R.J. Rushdoony

      Comment


      • #4
        Re: Carbolic Acid: The Cure for Female Masturbation?

        Originally posted by Jedediah View Post
        However, I do have one concern. Does carbolic acid cause lasting damage to that most sinful component of a woman's ladybits, or is this just another way of skirting around Jesus' clear instructions to remove any body parts that lead to sinfulness?
        According to the Wikipedia, Carbolic Acid can induce 2nd or 3rd degree burns if exposed to the skin long enough.

        I suppose the punishment should match the crime, so perhaps just a few drops for a few seconds for naughty thoughts, and a three-hour exposure for serious touching offenses.

        Heck, Jesus said to cut off useful body parts, like hands, feet and eyes if they lead to sinfulness. Really, I can't see any reason not to remove every woman's clitoris... shortly after birth, perhaps; or maybe later, like on their Sweet Sixteenth.
        I think at birth would be the best time to do it.

        After all, John Harvey Kellogg warns us that infants are wanton masturbators:

        The vice is the more extensive because there are almost no bounds to its indulgence. Its frequent repetition fastens it upon the victim with a fascination almost irresistible! It may be begun in earliest infancy, and may continue through life.
        - Plain Facts For Old And Young, page 231.

        Plus, I think it looks better.
        sigpic
        The eyes of the LORD are in every place, beholding the evil and the good.
        - Proverbs 15:3

        CHILDREN'S STORY: TIMMY ON TRIAL


        CHRISTIAN ADVICE AND MESSAGES OF HOPE! GOD'S GREATEST HITS!


        Comment


        • #5
          Re: Carbolic Acid: The Cure for Female Masturbation?

          Originally posted by Bob4God View Post

          GOD told me to seek out a solution from the inventor of Corn Flakes, and He led me to John Harvey Kellogg's fascinating and informative book, "Plain Facts for Old and Young."

          Praise!
          Praise indeed! I'll be sure and add this to my list of effective steps in overcoming masturbation.
          Who Will Jesus Damn?

          Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

          Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

          Need Pastoral Advice? Contact me privately at PastorEzekiel@landoverbaptist.net TODAY!!

          Comment


          • #6
            Re: Carbolic Acid: The Cure for Female Masturbation?

            Originally posted by Bob4God View Post
            This information was surely sent to me by GOD, and I believe that it is just in time to save this wayward generation of sassy harlots!

            Praise!
            Oh Jesus be praised! This is much better than my idea of sneaking into porn stores and modding their vibrator inventory with spiked clit stimulators.
            Attached Files

            Comment


            • #7
              Re: Carbolic Acid: The Cure for Female Masturbation?

              Originally posted by Pastor Ed Lowman View Post
              Oh Jesus be praised! This is much better than my idea of sneaking into porn stores and modding their vibrator inventory with spiked clit stimulators.
              Actually, brother, perhaps the best solution is to combine these GODly ideas.

              I am not advocating we do anything illegal, but just suppose sex toys could be modified to burst open like a fragmentation grenade, or leak acid.

              Inside the device could be a small business card with a Bible verse and Landover's website address, so that these wayward whores could learn from their pain.

              It's kind of like this locksmith I knew who would break into people's homes and leave a business card advertising his deadbolt locking system, and I think he did pretty good business for a while.

              We could do the same thing, only with exploding sex toys and Bible verses.
              sigpic
              The eyes of the LORD are in every place, beholding the evil and the good.
              - Proverbs 15:3

              CHILDREN'S STORY: TIMMY ON TRIAL


              CHRISTIAN ADVICE AND MESSAGES OF HOPE! GOD'S GREATEST HITS!


              Comment


              • #8
                Re: Carbolic Acid: The Cure for Female Masturbation?

                Originally posted by Bob4God View Post
                Actually, brother, perhaps the best solution is to combine these GODly ideas.

                I am not advocating we do anything illegal, but just suppose sex toys could be modified to burst open like a fragmentation grenade, or leak acid.

                Inside the device could be a small business card with a Bible verse and Landover's website address, so that these wayward whores could learn from their pain.

                It's kind of like this locksmith I knew who would break into people's homes and leave a business card advertising his deadbolt locking system, and I think he did pretty good business for a while.

                We could do the same thing, only with exploding sex toys and Bible verses.
                you are crazy

                Comment


                • #9
                  Re: Carbolic Acid: The Cure for Female Masturbation?

                  Originally posted by sntramonte View Post
                  you are crazy
                  I am sorry if i have offended any of you with this post I just had a spur of the moment upset I will have my partner punish me for this

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    Re: Carbolic Acid: The Cure for Female Masturbation?

                    Originally posted by sntramonte View Post
                    you are crazy
                    Originally posted by sntramonte View Post
                    I am sorry if i have offended any of you with this post I just had a spur of the moment upset I will have my partner punish me for this
                    Watch it, missy! We are trying to find out ways to spread the Lord's gospel while fighting against human nature and satan!

                    Our methodology in controlling women and others' acts of sexual pleasure is a biblical pursuit! It may seem extreme to you, but I'd advise you to stay out of our way.

                    Pastor Ed

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      Re: Carbolic Acid: The Cure for Female Masturbation?

                      Guys you are really crazy. You really want to torture someone for doing something completely natural and beneficial for healthy growth of a child? I can't believe there are still people limited enough to even think about things like that. I know you will delete this post and my profile, and I don't care. I just wanted to let you know, that if you are serious with this and not just joking, you're a bunch of idiots. And if you are joking, it's very dangerous joke, since someone could really take it seriously and do, what you are talking about

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        Re: Carbolic Acid: The Cure for Female Masturbation?

                        How is masturbation beneficial for the growth of a child?
                        Before you answer that, hop over to the Introductions forum and tell us the church you attend and your favourite biblical verse.
                        And no, we won't delete your post or your profile.

                        Comment


                        • #13
                          Re: Carbolic Acid: The Cure for Female Masturbation?

                          Oh, and just for you to know, I found this site when looking for info about consensual sexual torture. I guess, with your amount of idiocy, you'll consider this a"sin" too, won't you? So now you know, what brings people to your site

                          Comment


                          • #14
                            Re: Carbolic Acid: The Cure for Female Masturbation?

                            Originally posted by Mother Of Seven View Post
                            How is masturbation beneficial for the growth of a child?
                            Before you answer that, hop over to the Introductions forum and tell us the church you attend and your favourite biblical verse.
                            And no, we won't delete your post or your profile.
                            I don't believe in any god (I type lower case g on purpose, to show I'm not talking about just Christian God), so I don't attend any church nor have a favourite verse. Masturbation helps kids explore their sexuality, their body's responses, positively influences their mental health by giving them plesurable sensations and sometimes relief from stress. There are many ways in which masturbation positively influence human's mind and body (especially mind), try to find some articles about that. People who masturbated in adolescence have richer sexual life with their husband/wife, because they know their bodies and are able to tell their partners what they like. Also during masturbation they have various sexual phantasies they often want to explore. And sexuality is very important part of human life, its purpose is not only bearing children, but also developing and maintaining social relationships between partners

                            Comment


                            • #15
                              Re: Carbolic Acid: The Cure for Female Masturbation?

                              This might come as a shock, but there is a small eco-hippie side in me. That's why I'm in general agains of using acids on my girls. I have solved this conflict of interest with pure organic capsaicin solution. I guarentee that dipping girl's fingers in this solution every other day or so will stop her touching her cooter. Hell, it will also stop her from touching her eyes, nose, ears or any sensitive part of her body.

                              I've started using this method on my daughters the day they turn two and so far none of them has ever masturbated, so it works pretty well.

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