[Romeo Rovagnati]

Re: The Official Deity Bodycount chatter thread

Did the triangle-eye architect that sits on a checkerboard and is worshipped by apron-wearing "builders" killed anyone? The only killings that I can think of it right now are the ones of Jack the Ripper.

[Romeo Rovagnati]

Re: The Official Deity Bodycount chatter thread

What about the B'ahai or whatever they're called? Has someone mentioned them earlier? I must confess that it gets easy to miss some details in these threads when they're not specifically about the Bible.

I have not heard of any members of that cult slaughtering infidels, pheraps is because they are too busy being slaughtered by the Shia Muslims in Iran.


Anyways, considering that they claim that Biblical Prophets, Jesus, Mo, Zarathustra, Buddha and Krishna are all prophets of their single "god", then you have to sum up all the bodycounts of Jesus, Allah, Buddha and Hindu gods.


Speaking of, there is no mention of the Jewish "god" (who is no longer the same God as Christians). If you were to add it, I would suggest the following bodycounts:


All of the Old Testament killings: Ancient Israelites were different from today joos, but since they claim to descend from them, this applies too.


The Maccabean Revolt: The reason why they celebrate Hannukah.


Jesus Christ: This may be a single killing, but since he is God, it counts as an infinite number of person.


Judean Rebellions against the Roman Empire: They managed to kill some heathens before getting massacred by Hadrian.


The Black Plague: Altough this is a refuted myth, it deserves to be there just to give them some bodycounts.


Jewish Ritual Murder: This is also considered a myth, but could be true, since some Saints got brutally murdered during Passover.


I will not count the murders made in the name of Capitalism (Invisible Hand) or Communism (Marx) as neither of them were made in the name of the religion of Judaism.

[Romeo Rovagnati]

Re: The Official Deity Bodycount chatter thread

Also, this dog:

Mr. Fred Phelps also shoot a dog for peeing on his garden, would that adds one bodycount to Jesus?

[Dr. Anthony J. Toole]

Re: The Official Deity Bodycount chatter thread

Misread body as booty. God still wins +1

[MitzaLizalor]

Re: The Official Deity Bodycount chatter thread

Well there were plenty of pictures and they were milling around their kiosk, I must say very inappropriately dressed, but I didn't go into their tent to see the alien. Or the racing car driver. I doubt either of them were present though. But otherwise, yes, plenty of Raëlians. Hasn't he now declared himself the Maitreya? He might need some extra arms for that.

[Didymus Much]

Re: The Official Deity Bodycount chatter thread

..."They contacted a French racing car driver (retired) from a chrome flying saucer...

A real-life Raëlian encounter? Did you get pictures? A DNA sample?

[MitzaLizalor]

Re: The Official Deity Bodycount chatter thread

Once Jesus defeated sin forever on The Cross, it's as if someone sat down and thought up the most ridiculous words and "titles" for a joke. Just to see how much idiocy people would swallow. "The Báb," for instance. And what about those 7th Day freaks, the JW's, conmen announcing golden plates nobody's ever seen written in a demonstrably false made-up language? "How far will they go?" Satan simply can't believe it – but I can.

One day at an art festival some people set up a white tent and left little tracts around. They were about half the size of a magazine, glossy and well illustrated. "Aliens were gods and wrote The Bible!" the brochures screamed. "They contacted a French racing car driver (retired) from a chrome flying saucer in an extinct volcano!!" That seemed a funny location but they were well ahead of me. "We thought you'd think that: the reason is so we could share our message of hope with all mankind!!!"

But how many humankind are inside a volcano? Very few at any given moment I'd have thought. "Aha, but not all humans are ready for free love in a swastika-shaped alien embassy!!!!" ..and so on

Upon returning to their campsites and finding the (thousands of expensive looking) brochures left on everyone's picnic tables, the laughter echoed from tree to tree. I wonder how many they signed up? Anyway, the point is that sin was defeated at Calvary and only one specific blasphemy remains guaranteed to get one blasted into perdition. These Bábists and flying saucer nuts and gold plate liars and all the rest of them, with or without free love, are tailor-made for exactly that purpose.

[handmaiden]

Re: The Official Deity Bodycount chatter thread

The only "god" who seems to have not smited anyone seems to be the one of Jainism.

What about the B'ahai or whatever they're called? Has someone mentioned them earlier? I must confess that it gets easy to miss some details in these threads when they're not specifically about the Bible.

[Romeo Rovagnati]

Re: The Official Deity Bodycount chatter thread

Buddah is pathetic, no wonder he's so fat, having not gotten off his butt to do a single smiting for an entire century now.

There are actually some more killings which can be attributed to Buddha.


Emperor Ashoka: Some sources claim that he spread Buddhism via killing infidels (which are likely all Hindaloos).


Bon Genocide: Bon was originally the main heathen religion of Tibet, untill the Dalai Lama took over and reduced them as a minority.


War between Shinto and Buddhism: In the early years when Buddhism came to Japan, there was war between the two religions for a very long time.


Suicide: The doctrine of Sudoku, that is very common in Japan, originated from Buddhism. Originally used by Samurais to defend their "honor", nowadays its used by a bunch of depressed Japs.


Attempts to reach Nirvana: Also a suicide attempt by various people, including the Buddha himself. All you do is sit in a corner while attempting to stop thinking and starting a big fasting.


Speaing of genocide related to Buddhism, I think we can also apply the persecution of Korean Shamanism by American Evangelicals.


The only "god" who seems to have not smited anyone seems to be the one of Jainism.

[MitzaLizalor]

Re: The Official Deity Bodycount chatter thread

Yes, definitely a design progression there but Himmler was essentially a ground operator wasn't he? Many academics take an interest in arcane heathen metonymy but reading-between-the-lines was unnecessary in Himmler's case. Bismarck was a Protestant (even if he was brought up Lutheran) and I'm sure both of them could read but one was more enlightened than the other, history suggests. Just ask Napoleon III!

Because the Bonapartes were intermittently Catholic, and went marauding about the place [i.e. Europe] like maniacs (for example by introducing the metric system) perhaps we could attribute a body count to the false goddess Mary? Van Helsing didn't mention her and she doesn't appear in Mr Stuart Thurmond's original list.

[handmaiden]

Re: The Official Deity Bodycount chatter thread

Himmler was not a Viking. He didn't have a boat. Next you'll be saying Bismarck was an Eskimo.

Oh, but Sister, the Germans had some sort of navy, didn't they?

I think the real problem was the misplaced protuberances on their helmets.


German:



Viking:

[MitzaLizalor]

Re: The Official Deity Bodycount chatter thread

Himmler was not a Viking. He didn't have a boat. Next you'll be saying Bismarck was an Eskimo.

[Romeo Rovagnati]

Re: The Official Deity Bodycount chatter thread

Mr. Thurmond, I think that the Holocaust can be classified with both Christianity and Paganism. After all there were people, such as Himmler, who thought they were vikings.

[Marko Loimaan-Aho]

Re: The official deity bodycount

Funny how the christian god killed millions of people in the bible, but Satan only killed nearly 10 people, when dared by god. ( Job's family )

Well, actually that is a thing, we all can joy. However, "funny" is not the word that I'd use. There are still some, that are not in your calculations. It would be nice if somebody, who uses mathematics, could be exact.

Matthew 23:33
What we can joy is, that God wiped off millions of bad people. They got what they deserved. And it is sure, they are in Hell.

Matthew 10:28
Satan wiped Job's family off the face of the earth. But are they dead?

[Attila's Wife]

Re: The official deity bodycount

Funny how the christian god killed millions of people in the bible, but Satan only killed nearly 10 people, when dared by god. ( Job's family )

Could you perhaps explain why that's funny, dear? I seem to have missed the joke.