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  • Pastor Ezekiel
    Putting the "stud" back in Bible Study
     
    • Sep 2006
    • 78556
    #1

    PDF Makes CTM!!

    Our Pastor Made the Cover of Christianity Today Magazine!

    Notice to Parishioners - Please note that Landover Baptist does not condone the use of the word, "sexiest" in public or private conversation. When referring to Pastor's achievement, please use the words, "most manly, most handsome, or non-homo-like."

    Who Will Jesus Damn?

    Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

    Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

    Need Pastoral Advice? Contact me privately at PastorEzekiel@landoverbaptist.net TODAY!!
    Tags: None
    • Larry Lee
      Predestinated Servant of Jesus Christ by the Will of God
      True Christian™ Theologian
      True Christian™
      • Sep 2006
      • 4464
      #2
      Re: PDF Makes CTM!!

      Praise Jesus! Pastor Deacon Fred is even reaching out to the False Christians at Christianity Today! Verily, he is a role model for all of us.
      sigpic

      I loved Newt before Newt was invincible

        Comment

        • Talitha
          Deaconess
          Gracious, genteel, kind, tender, and warm True Christian™ Sister
          True Christian™
          • Apr 2026
          • 15118
          #3
          Re: PDF Makes CTM!!

          He is so adorable

          Pastor Deacon Fred is the most Non Homo-like Pastor in the whole of Freehold.

          Forgive me Lord, I was distracted for a full minute there

          Sister Talitha

          Markswoman, Circumcisionist, Platinum Tither.


          HE took the damsel by the hand, and said unto her, Talitha Cumi; which is,
          being interpreted, Damsel, I say unto thee, arise!...Mark 5:41


            Comment

            • SUV
              True Christian™ Princess
              The Driving Force behind RA12
              Have at it, anytime!
              • Sep 2006
              • 11027
              #4
              Re: PDF Makes CTM!!

              To imply that in any way that our dear Pastor Deacon Fred is "sexy!"

              Bunch of heathens

                Comment

                • Bobby-Joe
                  Landover Security Superviser
                  Asset Loss Prevention and Personal Security Expert
                  NOT angry and positively NOT Gay
                  True Christian™
                  • Sep 2006
                  • 18405
                  #5
                  Re: PDF Makes CTM!!

                  Pastor Deacon Fred does appeal in a NOT gay way.

                  Put him and Pastor Zeke up against the other side and you know God loves.

                  Time to reclaim our FREEDOM from the “Mullah in Chief” and his growing activist voter hoards of socialists, communists, anti-Semites, anti-Christians, atheists, radical gays and lesbians, feminists, illegal immigrants, Muslims, anti-Anglo whites and others.

                  Hot Must ReadThreads!


                  Time to come clean on Benghazi Mr Obama!

                    Comment

                    • Daisy Mae Johnson
                      The Future Mrs. Ezekiel Flint
                      Voted Best Pies in Freehold 10 Years Running
                      aka the Biblethumpin Blonde
                      True Christian™
                      • Sep 2006
                      • 15708
                      #6
                      Re: PDF Makes CTM!!

                      He is not only manly, he is also very thoughtful and sweet. He compliments me every Sunday after service on how much he likes me pie.
                      sigpic

                      Tweet me Here
                      My GODLY Bio Here

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