Who invented Homers?

[Bobby-Joe]

I was talking to Pastor Pistol about ammo shipments (the Godly War of Terror™ has been playing havoc on our own shipments). When Pastor Pistol observed about how Christians in the 60’s rearmed themselves against the Communist Free-Love Menace® while facing a similar ammo shortage due to the Vietnam War. “This was before Homers were invented” Pastor Pistol observed as he explained how to get around unfair and anti-Christian laws when requisitioning ammo from National Guard armories

This got me thinking. Who did invented the homers? While I understand it was ultimately Satan who was Satan meat tool in this? The Beatles(they were English), The Civil Rights Movement? Ted Kennedy? Who? We need to understand the origin of this phenomena before Jesus can help us defeat it.

[Pastor Al E Pistle]

Re: Who invented Homers?

I have no experience with homers because, as I said, they didn't exist in Texas in the sixties and undoubtedly still don't.

But my best guess is that the bad choices began with Liberace, a middling piano player who took his act so seriously that he finally became a poofter. He inspired Little Richard to become the Queen or Rock and Roll and everything spiraled down from there.

Where is Roy Rogers when we need him?

[SUV]

Re: Who invented Homers?

I invented Homer!s!

Well at least here at Landover, I did. I began calling them as such (exclamation mark after the "r" optional) many years' ago, and Jesus has Richly Blessed me with one of those Terms That Will Not Die.

You know....like "Solutions"

"Yowsah" died. "Homer!" didn't.

[Talitha]

Re: Who invented Homers?

I invented Homer!s!

Well at least here at Landover, I did. I began calling them as such (exclamation mark after the "r" optional) many years' ago, and Jesus has Richly Blessed me with one of those Terms That Will Not Die.

You know....like "Solutions"

"Yowsah" died. "Homer!" didn't.

YAY For Sue Vera!

[SUV]

Re: Who invented Homers?

YAY For Sue Vera!

[ATTACH]2756[/ATTACH]

Oh my GOD, Sister Tali, that beautiful sentiment, and in neon letters that look like Cowboy rope! PRAISE YOU!!!

[Old Man Hatchet]

Re: Who invented Homers?

I invented Homer!s!

Well at least here at Landover, I did. I began calling them as such (exclamation mark after the "r" optional) many years' ago, and Jesus has Richly Blessed me with one of those Terms That Will Not Die.

You know....like "Solutions"

"Yowsah" died. "Homer!" didn't.

This sounds as preposterous as Al Gore claiming he invented the Internet. Sister Sue, you know as well as I that women do not possess the cognitive processes necessary for such creativity. Simply put, women do not coin new words or phrases. They iron. They cook. They clean. They do not augment Landover's lexicon.

[Bobby-Joe]

Re: Who invented Homers?

I have no experience with homers because, as I said, they didn't exist in Texas in the sixties and undoubtedly still don't.

But my best guess is that the bad choices began with Liberace, a middling piano player who took his act so seriously that he finally became a poofter. He inspired Little Richard to become the Queen or Rock and Roll and everything spiraled down from there.

Where is Roy Rogers when we need him?

Good point Pastor. Since our Godly President was born and raised in Texas that makes Texas one of the most Not-Gay states in the Union. Even Not-Gay Idaho or Not-Gay Wyoming do not comes close. Praise Jesus He hasn’t allowed the Homer Menace® completely overrun America

Clearly the issue is how did the blue states get gay? My though is it was the environmental movement. I’ve seen pictures of how in the old days beautiful clouds of coal smoke billowed up to the air like so many a burnt offering of old. There were times when America’s celebration of the Lord’s bounty bloated out the sun itself. Now thanks to the tree-hugging moon-bats all those Godly altars of industry are stilled. Nature worship leads right to being a rump ranger.

[SUV]

Re: Who invented Homers?

Sister Sue, you know as well as I that women do not possess the cognitive processes necessary for such creativity. Simply put, women do not coin new words or phrases. They iron. They cook. They clean. They do not augment Landover's lexicon.

Uh, okay, Brother Hatchet, you caught me red-handed. (But that's only because I was crushing cranberries for the CHRISTMAS Wine)

I actually borrowed that term from The Simpsons and I didn't want anyone to know I used to watch such unGodly "entertainment."

So now you know. Stone me! Stone me NOW!!!

[Old Man Hatchet]

Re: Who invented Homers?

Uh, okay, Brother Hatchet, you caught me red-handed. (But that's only because I was crushing cranberries for the CHRISTMAS Wine)

I actually borrowed that term from The Simpsons and I didn't want anyone to know I used to watch such unGodly "entertainment."

So now you know. Stone me! Stone me NOW!!!

Plagiarizing from The Simpsons? Sister, you should have just stopped when you were branded a liar.

[Marshall]

Re: Who invented Homers?

Queers have been around since before Jesus, when God was smiting them by the thousands at a moments notice. Those homos were sturdy and strong, violent and horrible. They raped and victimized people with their gay ways. A true menace.
The modern poofter was refashioned in the 50s when rock and/or roll was invented by the Negros in New Orleans and Memphis and Nashville. After that the gays really got a boost in numbers by recruiting from England in the form of the "British Invasion". The rock music and drugs like weeds and LDS drove kids into a sexual frenzy and soon just having random sex wasn't enough and teenagers began fornicating with whoever was nearby at the time regardless of their gender. Soon, with the help of Satan, they developed a taste for it and adopted the full on homosexuality we are familiar with today. Feminine men and masculine women are a hallmark of modern Homos.

Next came protests and demonstrations and whining and complaining as more and more children became indoctrinated into accepting faggotry as normal by secular culture. Kids are taught to "feel" and to"get in touch" and to "care". They are given queer toys and taught Liberal lifestyles in which men can share their emotions and women can "become anything they want to" instead of simply instructing them on proper cooking and child rearing methods. The vast homosexual agenda has infiltrated into every aspect of society, even churches. There are people who call themselves preachers who also choose to be gay. ABOMINATION.

In short, I'd say Satan makes people choose to be gay but secular culture, created by the Negros and the Europeans has been the Devils number one assistant.

[Five Year Old Girl]

Re: Who invented Homers?

I askeded my Mawmy, an' she said it was a guy named Alex, an' it took Two whole days ta' do it.





...an' Mawmy sez if that's not thuh right answer, I get a whippin fer askin bout it.

[Buford T Scoggins]

Re: Who invented Homers?

Clearly the issue is how did the blue states get gay? My though is it was the environmental movement.

I wondered about this myself, until I saw the classic movie Doctor Strangelove, where General Jack D. Ripper explained how communism was spread by water fluoridation.

The communists put fluoride in our drinking water, and it's turned our children gay!

Fortunately, help is available. There are good live-in Christian ministries such as Exodus International where gays can be deprogrammed.

[Oliver_Cromwell]

Re: Who invented Homers?

Homers were invented in Greece after all this is where the book Homers Oddessey originated from a book chronicling a homer on his Oddessey (queer parade) Also this is where lesbeans were invented after all they all come from the Greek island Lesbos.

Thankfully God is punishing them now by bringing down a plaugue upon their economy

[Billy Bob Jenkins]

Re: Who invented Homers?

Homers were invented in Greece after all this is where the book Homers Oddessey originated from a book chronicling a homer on his Oddessey (queer parade) Also this is where lesbeans were invented after all they all come from the Greek island Lesbos.

Thankfully God is punishing them now by bringing down a plaugue upon their economy

This wouldn't surprise me, since they are a nation founded on handouts and pickled olives.

Still, I was under the impression that it was Judas Priest, who propagated the lifestyle through backmasking and ritual abuse.

[Brother Tobias]

Re: Who invented Homers?

The Greeks were probably the first to wholeheartedly embrace this vile and disgusting way of life. The signs are seen in the Olympic games. greco roman wrestling is a good example. Another is mma. Both sports have fully grown men Mounting each other.

In Christ

Tobias