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  • Pastor Ezekiel
    Putting the "stud" back in Bible Study
     
    • Sep 2006
    • 78552
    #16
    Re: Ancient false Christians killed by Jesus

    Originally posted by Rachael Van Helsing View Post
    ME with the anal fixation?? ME??

    Last I recall, someone else had the enema fetish. I wonder who it was?
    Well wonder no more, harlot; it is was and always has been you and your rug-munching fellow traveler lillith who drone on and on about feces-related topics. Frankly, Jesus is tired of you both. Too mouthy.
    Who Will Jesus Damn?

    Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

    Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

    Need Pastoral Advice? Contact me privately at PastorEzekiel@landoverbaptist.net TODAY!!

      Comment

      • Rachael Van Helsing
        HEATHEN — Suspected Witch
        • Sep 2006
        • 5131
        #17
        Re: Ancient false Christians killed by Jesus

        Originally posted by Pastor Ezekiel View Post
        Well wonder no more, harlot; it is was and always has been you and your rug-munching fellow traveler lillith who drone on and on about feces-related topics. Frankly, Jesus is tired of you both. Too mouthy.
        Zeke, need I remind you WHO IT WAS WHO STARTED THIS WHOLE TOPIC ON POOPING??
        sigpic
        Wake up and smell the 21st Century!!

          Comment

          • Poetic Peter
            Christian Poet Emeritus
            Forum Member
            • Nov 2006
            • 1696
            #18
            Re: Ancient false Christians killed by Jesus

            You have the soul of a poet, so surely!

            :poop in a pile:

            The savor of alliteration!


            ----

            Work it out
            and shout!


            I
            Heathen 'Gyptians
            at the Nile,
            DIED
            (pooped in piles)


            II
            See Dead Sea Scrollers
            weren't holy rollers.
            DIED
            (pooped in piles)


            III
            Vile Cat-O-Licks,
            the first false Christians,
            DIE
            (in eternal pig poop piles)



            Peter

            moved

              Comment

              • Brother Temperance
                Senior Usher
                True Christian™ missionary to the Unsaved Kingdom
                A very nice young man
                True Christian™
                • Sep 2006
                • 15621
                #19
                Re: Ancient false Christians killed by Jesus

                Originally posted by Poetic Peter View Post
                You have the soul of a poet, so surely!

                :poop in a pile:

                The savor of alliteration!


                ----

                Work it out
                and shout!


                I
                Heathen 'Gyptians
                at the Nile,
                DIED
                (pooped in piles)


                II
                See Dead Sea Scrollers
                weren't holy rollers.
                DIED
                (pooped in piles)


                III
                Vile Cat-O-Licks,
                the first false Christians,
                DIE
                (in eternal pig poop piles)



                Peter

                moved
                Praise! Brother, you are truly gifted. Now if only someone could find a way to stop Hellthing using the hole in her face to blab continuously about all the others...
                O Lord our God, help us to tear their soldiers to bloody shreds with our shells; help us to cover their smiling fields with the pale forms of their patriot dead; help us to drown the thunder of the guns with the shrieks of their wounded, writhing in pain; help us to lay waste their humble homes with a hurricane of fire; help us to wring the hearts of their unoffending widows with unavailing grief; help us to turn them out roofless with little children to wander unfriended the wastes of their desolated land in rags and hunger and thirst, sports of the sun flames of summer and the icy winds of winter, broken in spirit, worn with travail, imploring Thee for the refuge of the grave and denied it--for our sakes who adore Thee, Lord, blast their hopes, blight their lives, protract their bitter pilgrimage, make heavy their steps, water their way with their tears, stain the white snow with the blood of their wounded feet! We ask it, in the spirit of love, of Him Who is the Source of Love, and Who is the ever-faithful refuge and friend of all that are sore beset and seek His aid with humble and contrite hearts. Amen.



                God being truth, justice, goodness, beauty, power, and life, man is falsehood, iniquity, evil, ugliness, impotence, and death. God being master, man is the slave. Incapable of finding justice, truth, and eternal life by his own effort, he can attain them only through a divine revelation... he who desires to worship God must harbor no childish illusions about the matter, but bravely renounce his liberty and humanity.

                  Comment

                  • Bobby-Joe
                    Landover Security Superviser
                    Asset Loss Prevention and Personal Security Expert
                    NOT angry and positively NOT Gay
                    True Christian™
                    • Sep 2006
                    • 18405
                    #20
                    Re: Ancient false Christians killed by Jesus

                    Originally posted by Rachael Van Helsing View Post
                    Zeke, need I remind you WHO IT WAS WHO STARTED THIS WHOLE TOPIC ON POOPING??
                    This Mss Rachael Von Analcentric is a topic about God killing sinners with their own filth. The whole point Rachael is these Esemens may have followed the bit about their waste but they were doing the bits in the Bible about following Jesus' teaching because they lived before Christ came. There for God smoted them, ironically, with parasites in their own filth. This is what happens when people pick and chose what they want from The Bible and disobey the rest.

                    Time to reclaim our FREEDOM from the “Mullah in Chief” and his growing activist voter hoards of socialists, communists, anti-Semites, anti-Christians, atheists, radical gays and lesbians, feminists, illegal immigrants, Muslims, anti-Anglo whites and others.

                    Hot Must ReadThreads!


                    Time to come clean on Benghazi Mr Obama!

                      Comment

                      • Pastor Rune Enoe
                        Apostle of the North
                         
                        • Sep 2006
                        • 11679
                        #21
                        Re: Ancient false Christians killed by Jesus

                        Originally posted by Rachael Van Helsing View Post
                        Petal brings up a good point. Your bible says to do what they did, and they followed it, suprise surprise, they died.
                        More proof that the bible is full of sh*t
                        Nonsense! As Pastor Pistle has explained to you, the Bible doesn't say that you and your friends should poop together in jolly camaraderie. Nobody has ever accused us Landoverians of being party poopers.

                        It's quite simple, really: God will kill you if you poop in a pile or if you relieve yourself against the wall

                        1st Samuel 25:22 So and more also do God unto the enemies of David, if I leave of all that pertain to him by the morning light any that pisseth against the wall.
                        A wise man’s heart inclines him to the right, but a fool’s heart to the left. (Ecclesiastes 10:2)

                          Comment

                          • Brother Temperance
                            Senior Usher
                            True Christian™ missionary to the Unsaved Kingdom
                            A very nice young man
                            True Christian™
                            • Sep 2006
                            • 15621
                            #22
                            Re: Ancient false Christians killed by Jesus

                            Originally posted by Prune Danish View Post
                            It's quite simple, really: God will kill you if you poop in a pile or if you relieve yourself against the wall

                            1st Samuel 25:22 So and more also do God unto the enemies of David, if I leave of all that pertain to him by the morning light any that pisseth against the wall.
                            Just in the middle of the road is still alright though, isn't it?
                            O Lord our God, help us to tear their soldiers to bloody shreds with our shells; help us to cover their smiling fields with the pale forms of their patriot dead; help us to drown the thunder of the guns with the shrieks of their wounded, writhing in pain; help us to lay waste their humble homes with a hurricane of fire; help us to wring the hearts of their unoffending widows with unavailing grief; help us to turn them out roofless with little children to wander unfriended the wastes of their desolated land in rags and hunger and thirst, sports of the sun flames of summer and the icy winds of winter, broken in spirit, worn with travail, imploring Thee for the refuge of the grave and denied it--for our sakes who adore Thee, Lord, blast their hopes, blight their lives, protract their bitter pilgrimage, make heavy their steps, water their way with their tears, stain the white snow with the blood of their wounded feet! We ask it, in the spirit of love, of Him Who is the Source of Love, and Who is the ever-faithful refuge and friend of all that are sore beset and seek His aid with humble and contrite hearts. Amen.



                            God being truth, justice, goodness, beauty, power, and life, man is falsehood, iniquity, evil, ugliness, impotence, and death. God being master, man is the slave. Incapable of finding justice, truth, and eternal life by his own effort, he can attain them only through a divine revelation... he who desires to worship God must harbor no childish illusions about the matter, but bravely renounce his liberty and humanity.

                              Comment

                              • Rachael Van Helsing
                                HEATHEN — Suspected Witch
                                • Sep 2006
                                • 5131
                                #23
                                Re: Ancient false Christians killed by Jesus

                                Originally posted by Prune Danish View Post
                                Nonsense! As Pastor Pistle has explained to you, the Bible doesn't say that you and your friends should poop together in jolly camaraderie. Nobody has ever accused us Landoverians of being party poopers.

                                It's quite simple, really: God will kill you if you poop in a pile or if you relieve yourself against the wall

                                1st Samuel 25:22 So and more also do God unto the enemies of David, if I leave of all that pertain to him by the morning light any that pisseth against the wall.
                                Sweet merciful crawdads, the idea

                                Originally posted by BT
                                Just in the middle of the road is still alright though, isn't it?
                                Bit late for you to worry about that now, isn't it? *snicker*
                                sigpic
                                Wake up and smell the 21st Century!!

                                  Comment

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