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  • Pastor Ezekiel
    Putting the "stud" back in Bible Study
     
    • Sep 2006
    • 78556
    #16
    Re: Question About JESUS & DINOSAURS???

    Originally posted by IanKerner View Post
    Oh wow I'm convinced now. It all makes so much sense. Where do I sign up?
    Glory to God! I've been praying for you to come to Jesus!! My Prayers have been answered!! Jesus wins again!

    Just click on the Paypal button at the bottom of this page RIGHT NOW and we'll take care of everything. Have your credit cards and financial paperwork in order to make things smoother.

    Praise Jesus!!
    Who Will Jesus Damn?

    Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

    Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

    Need Pastoral Advice? Contact me privately at PastorEzekiel@landoverbaptist.net TODAY!!

      Comment

      • WanKer
        Confirmed Enemy of God
        BANNED from Landover -- Aeternal Damnation Assured
        • Jul 2008
        • 52
        #17
        Re: Question About JESUS & DINOSAURS???

        Originally posted by Pastor Ezekiel View Post
        Glory to God! I've been praying for you to come to Jesus!! My Prayers have been answered!! Jesus wins again!

        Just click on the Paypal button at the bottom of this page RIGHT NOW and we'll take care of everything. Have your credit cards and financial paperwork in order to make things smoother.

        Praise Jesus!!
        Sure, but I'm poor I dont have any money. Will Jesus love me the same?

          Comment

          • Pastor Ezekiel
            Putting the "stud" back in Bible Study
             
            • Sep 2006
            • 78556
            #18
            Re: Question About JESUS & DINOSAURS???

            Originally posted by IanKerner View Post
            Sure, but I'm poor I dont have any money. Will Jesus love me the same?
            Actually the Holy Bible addresses your case specifically. Jesus wants the poor to give every penny they have.

            Mark 12:41 And Jesus sat over against the treasury, and beheld how the people cast money into the treasury: and many that were rich cast in much. Mark 12:42 And there came a certain poor widow, and she threw in two mites, which make a farthing. Mark 12:43 And he called unto him his disciples, and saith unto them, Verily I say unto you, That this poor widow hath cast more in, than all they which have cast into the treasury: Mark 12:44 For all they did cast in of their abundance; but she of her want did cast in all that she had, even all her living.
            Who Will Jesus Damn?

            Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

            Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

            Need Pastoral Advice? Contact me privately at PastorEzekiel@landoverbaptist.net TODAY!!

              Comment

              • Chimps Rnt Us
                Unsaved trash
                Under Investigation
                • Jul 2008
                • 16
                #19
                Re: Question About JESUS & DINOSAURS???

                I don't think Brother Ian has heard of a little thing called the Dinosaur National Monument... http://www.answersingenesis.org/arti...ional-monument

                Proving, and I quote from the fine people at Answers in Genesis...

                Created on Day 6 with the other land creatures and man, dinosaurs walked the earth until the catastrophic Flood destroyed all land-dwelling, air-breathing creatures not preserved on the Ark. Although representatives of each dinosaur kind were on the Ark and survived to repopulate the earth after the Flood, those that weren’t on the Ark perished in the Flood.
                The evidence is there, all you have to do is look at it without the overbearing prejudices that demonic scientists in the secular world have spewed into society.

                  Comment

                  • WanKer
                    Confirmed Enemy of God
                    BANNED from Landover -- Aeternal Damnation Assured
                    • Jul 2008
                    • 52
                    #20
                    Re: Question About JESUS & DINOSAURS???

                    Just one stupid question:

                    How the heck did the ark fit two diplodocus' & two brontosaurus' in it? And I've seen Jurassic Park 2, when they had just one T-Rex on the ship it killed everyone, what would two (male & female) do to all the people & animals on the ark? These are serious questions, think about it, the ark's length & the length (from head to tail) of a diplodocus are much the same... Isn't it a bit of a problem? Come on, answer that. Please.

                    And Pastor, I only get about $480 a week, I pay about $200 for rent, $100 for food & I save whatever I can, does Jesus want those? (my savings) or all of it? Like, how will I pay the rent if I give every penny to you?

                    Also, just as a moral question... Nah, I'll ask this in a seperate post. Its too funny, er, I mean serious to waste here...

                      Comment

                      • Pastor Ezekiel
                        Putting the "stud" back in Bible Study
                         
                        • Sep 2006
                        • 78556
                        #21
                        Re: Question About JESUS & DINOSAURS???

                        Originally posted by IanKerner View Post
                        Just one stupid question:
                        There are no stupid questions in Christianity. Only stupid answers!

                        Originally posted by IanKerner View Post
                        How the heck did the ark fit two diplodocus' & two brontosaurus' in it? And I've seen Jurassic Park 2, when they had just one T-Rex on the ship it killed everyone, what would two (male & female) do to all the people & animals on the ark? These are serious questions, think about it, the ark's length & the length (from head to tail) of a diplodocus are much the same... Isn't it a bit of a problem? Come on, answer that. Please.
                        The ark was quite big. Really, really big you see.

                        Originally posted by IanKerner View Post
                        And Pastor, I only get about $480 a week, I pay about $200 for rent, $100 for food & I save whatever I can, does Jesus want those? (my savings) or all of it? Like, how will I pay the rent if I give every penny to you?
                        Trust in Jesus. Sell everything you own and Tithe it today! The scripture says you will be repaid thricefold!

                        Originally posted by IanKerner View Post
                        Also, just as a moral question... Nah, I'll ask this in a seperate post. Its too funny, er, I mean serious to waste here...
                        Never be shy about asking questions, friend. You are walking the rocky path to Salvation, and you've got alot to learn!
                        Who Will Jesus Damn?

                        Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

                        Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

                        Need Pastoral Advice? Contact me privately at PastorEzekiel@landoverbaptist.net TODAY!!

                          Comment

                          • WanKer
                            Confirmed Enemy of God
                            BANNED from Landover -- Aeternal Damnation Assured
                            • Jul 2008
                            • 52
                            #22
                            Re: Question About JESUS & DINOSAURS???

                            Originally posted by Pastor Ezekiel View Post
                            There are no stupid questions in Christianity. Only stupid answers!
                            I've actually observ ed that here so many times, thats why I keep coming back to this forum... The Holy Spirit is touching me in places I've never been touched before. GLORY!

                            Please now, can someone post the dimensions of an ark & a diplodocus side by side?

                            And, what exactly does Jesus need money for any way? Like, his dead, dead men dont need money.

                              Comment

                              • Pastor Ezekiel
                                Putting the "stud" back in Bible Study
                                 
                                • Sep 2006
                                • 78556
                                #23
                                Re: Question About JESUS & DINOSAURS???

                                Originally posted by IanKerner View Post

                                And, what exactly does Jesus need money for any way? Like, his dead, dead men dont need money.
                                You are digging your way down to hell with smart-alecky comments like that boy.

                                Jesus is ALIVE! He is watching you even now (so stop touching your tallywacker!). He watches you go poopy! He watches you every minute of every day!



                                Jesus doesn't need any money, of course. But His favorite church does! We are charged by God Almighty to spread the Holy Word of God all over the world, and that costs plenty! Bibles and jetfuel don't grow on trees, you know!!

                                Quit stalling! Hit that Paypal button NOW before you forget!
                                Who Will Jesus Damn?

                                Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

                                Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

                                Need Pastoral Advice? Contact me privately at PastorEzekiel@landoverbaptist.net TODAY!!

                                  Comment

                                  • WanKer
                                    Confirmed Enemy of God
                                    BANNED from Landover -- Aeternal Damnation Assured
                                    • Jul 2008
                                    • 52
                                    #24
                                    Re: Question About JESUS & DINOSAURS???

                                    Originally posted by Pastor Ezekiel View Post
                                    JQuit stalling! Hit that Paypal button NOW before you forget!
                                    I'll do that later...

                                    Right now I'm more interested in this comment:
                                    Originally posted by Pastor Ezekiel View Post
                                    Jesus watches you go poopy!
                                    Really? Like, why? Is it like a fetish or something? Who would wanna watch a bloke taking a dump? Even I get bored of it, thats why I take a book in there with me...

                                      Comment

                                      • Pastor Ezekiel
                                        Putting the "stud" back in Bible Study
                                         
                                        • Sep 2006
                                        • 78556
                                        #25
                                        Re: Question About JESUS & DINOSAURS???

                                        Originally posted by IanKerner View Post
                                        I'll do that later...

                                        Right now I'm more interested in this comment:


                                        Really? Like, why? Is it like a fetish or something? Who would wanna watch a bloke taking a dump? Even I get bored of it, thats why I take a book in there with me...
                                        Take a look at Pastor Deacon Fred's sermon on the subject HERE.
                                        Who Will Jesus Damn?

                                        Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

                                        Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

                                        Need Pastoral Advice? Contact me privately at PastorEzekiel@landoverbaptist.net TODAY!!

                                          Comment

                                          • PureFurry
                                            Confirmed Enemy of God
                                            BANNED from Landover -- Aeternal Damnation Assured
                                            • Jul 2008
                                            • 14
                                            #26
                                            Re: Question About JESUS & DINOSAURS???

                                            Erm, sorry to ruin your fun guys, but jesus was around approx 2k years ago, and dinosaurs were around a few mil years ago, so no, jesus wasnt around at the time of the dinosaurs, and if he was, i think he might have been bitten multiple times by dinosaurs, then he really would be HOLEY

                                              Comment

                                              • Glendora Christianson
                                                Spiritual Mother of LBC
                                                True Christian™
                                                • Sep 2006
                                                • 2329
                                                #27
                                                Re: Question About JESUS & DINOSAURS???

                                                Originally posted by PureFurry View Post
                                                Erm, sorry to ruin your fun guys, but jesus was around approx 2k years ago, and dinosaurs were around a few mil years ago, so no, jesus wasnt around at the time of the dinosaurs, and if he was, i think he might have been bitten multiple times by dinosaurs, then he really would be HOLEY
                                                Your lack of respect for Jesus is evident in your failing to capitalize His name. I think we have already established that Jesus is timeless and as I recall, Dinosaurs were around about 6,000 years ago.
                                                Jesus - gentle, dependable overnight relief.

                                                  Comment

                                                  • WanKer
                                                    Confirmed Enemy of God
                                                    BANNED from Landover -- Aeternal Damnation Assured
                                                    • Jul 2008
                                                    • 52
                                                    #28
                                                    Re: Question About JESUS & DINOSAURS???

                                                    Originally posted by Pastor Ezekiel View Post
                                                    Take a look at Pastor Deacon Fred's sermon on the subject HERE.
                                                    Originally posted by Pastor Deacon Fred
                                                    So, young lady- the next time you’re making a doo-doo, don’t be shy. Be thankful, child! Verily, take comfort by gazing heavenward as you push and squeal like a sweet naked sow in the mud; then at the very moment you hear an audible plop in the water beneath your soft naked rump, you can give Jesus a little wave hello!
                                                    That man is extremely sick. He would do well visiting a psychiatrist. I'm serious.

                                                      Comment

                                                      • Ebenezer Wright
                                                        True Christian™
                                                        True Christian™
                                                        • Jul 2008
                                                        • 1021
                                                        #29
                                                        Re: Question About JESUS & DINOSAURS???

                                                        Originally posted by WanKerner View Post
                                                        That man is extremely sick. He would do well visiting a psychiatrist. I'm serious.
                                                        How is this man sick??? I found his message to be both comforting and moving. He reminded me that God is always there for me, and that God is never too busy to keep a watchful eye on me! Praise!!

                                                        And shame on you for suggesting that such a Godly man needs help from some witch doctor.
                                                        Gather around so that I can read to you from my book of TRUTH. Genesis thru Revelations....Pick one!

                                                        Luke 12:5- But I will forewarn you whom ye shall fear: Fear him, which after he hath killed hath power to cast into hell; yea, I say unto you, Fear him.

                                                          Comment

                                                          • WanKer
                                                            Confirmed Enemy of God
                                                            BANNED from Landover -- Aeternal Damnation Assured
                                                            • Jul 2008
                                                            • 52
                                                            #30
                                                            Re: Question About JESUS & DINOSAURS???

                                                            I guess it all boils down to how much you enjoy bearded men watching you phave a bowel movement. I'm personally not a fan of it. In fact I think it's pretty gay. But I guess if you like scat play with strange bearded men, hey, I'm not here to judge!

                                                              Comment

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