[MidwestCatLady]

Re: Cucumber, the proof of God’s existence Atheists

Right


Let's reason this out logically

• God hates sin
• Masturbation is a sin
• God tests us for sin
• Cucumbers as quite suitable for masturbation and little else.

Therefor God created cucumbers.

Do you have a rebuttal for this? If you need scripture to back up my first three points I will furnish it. Obvious the last point is based of simple observation.


EDIT: I would also like to point out I am offering a $10,000 USD reward to anyone who can prove my argument wrong.

The ball is your court materialists.

Wow, $10,000! Holly cow, cucumbers are great on the eyes when you slice them and put them on puffy sore or tired eyelids and there is nothing like the sour spicy taste of a cold cucumber, onion, soy, vinegar and tomato salad. People who choose to masterbate will do so. They do not need a fruit or vegetable, just evil thoughts and boredom.

[Sommanol Beatmeup]

Re: Cucumber, the proof of God’s existence Atheists

Hey guys.

I've invented a recipe that works great with cucumbers.
Here is my "Cucumber-Creationist-Salad"

First we take the cucumber.
Then, we take a creationist and place him in front of us.
After you've done that, hit him as hard as you can.
And there you go, your cucumber-creationist-salad is finished.

Don't forget to clean up the mess.

[Meek and Humble]

Re: Cucumber, the proof of God’s existence Atheists

Well, thank you for showing that what we have said all along is true - atheists want to kill Christians!

[Tallywacker69]

Re: Cucumber, the proof of God’s existence Atheists

I remember there was once a topic about banana's who prove the same thing.

Well, in the Holy Bookus Vanus Ocidnacus, there's also a story about a banana, written by me: De Bananum Barmhartigae.

I quote:

When a poor lad crossed the desert of the Eastern Southpole, he arrived at a forest. This forest contained many trees, besides some roses and plants who growed on the ground, like a rhinoceros in the air. On a certain moment, at least Ocidnac was certain of it, the evil Prinzius came from behind a tree, of which there were none. The poor lad got frightened and fell head first, because he realised that falling backwards could be painful. The evil Prinzius kicked the poor lad, and the poor lad prayed to Ocidnac. He was merciful, because the evil Prinzius ran away with an evil laugh in which Ydnac reflected. The poor lad stood up and walked forth. High in the trees, of which there were none, he heared a branch breaking. And what did he saw?! A Monky Boy jumped out of the tree, of which there were none, and threw him backwards, the poor lad changed his mind and fell head first. The Monky Boy was hitting him with her tail, untill there came a banana out of the pocket of her jeans. The Banana had an aureole around his belly, meaning that he was blessed by The Grote Ocidnac, and that he could trudle a hoop good. This Banana put up a mask and the Monkey Boy got frightened and ran away in the trees, of which - by mistake - were a few. The Banana helped the poor lad up and gave him a vision, send by Grote Ocidnac. The poor lad had to tell the story of the Merciful Banana (Bananum Barmhartigae), which would be a lesson for every Debiel. Because if thou get harassed by many ghosts and harps, the Bananum Barhartigae will make thee a nice juice of fruit and thou can go have a walk in the forest again. And thou shalt not cut down trees, for there are none.
Bramen

"Via in lollae fortiter Debilitas est"

[Wide-Open]

Re: Cucumber, the proof of God’s existence Atheists

Barmhartigae.

Great, more cathlyck junk from Stabroek, Belgistan.

How many accounts do you want to have?

[Ezekiel Bathfire]

Re: Cucumber, the proof of God’s existence Atheists

I remember there was once a topic about banana's who prove the same thing.

Well, in the Holy Bookus Vanus Ocidnacus, there's also a story about a banana, written by me: De Bananum Barmhartigae.

I quote:

When a poor lad crossed the desert of the Eastern Southpole, [...] thou shalt not cut down trees, for there are none.
Bramen

"Via in lollae fortiter Debilitas est"

Has the nurse stolen your meds?

[Tallywacker69]

Re: Cucumber, the proof of God’s existence Atheists

Nowp, I just have a Diploma in the Debiliteiten.
Master, Doctor, Engineer, ...
So I don't need med's.

@ Wide Open
Bwa, een stuk of twelf account zouek wel tof vinne.
Ge voelda nu wss zo kei stoer da ge men woonplaats weet.
Mor manneke, hoe da ge naa bezig ze is zieleg zenne, dus
as gij gère het collaborateurke uithangt, mij nie gelate.
Maar ge ze me de verkeerde bezig, en eens dak da IP adres van
u heb zal ik is effe langs komme om a een saloâse te geve da
ge nog ga voele as ge bij onze lieven heer veur den hemelpoort sta.
Janet..

[Wide-Open]

Re: Cucumber, the proof of God’s existence Atheists

Nowp, I just have a Diploma in the Debiliteiten.
Master, Doctor, Engineer, ...
So I don't need med's.

@ Wide Open
Bwa, een stuk of twelf account zouek wel tof vinne.
Ge voelda nu wss zo kei stoer da ge men woonplaats weet.
Mor manneke, hoe da ge naa bezig ze is zieleg zenne, dus
as gij gère het collaborateurke uithangt, mij nie gelate.
Maar ge ze me de verkeerde bezig, en eens dak da IP adres van
u heb zal ik is effe langs komme om a een saloâse te geve da
ge nog ga voele as ge bij onze lieven heer veur den hemelpoort sta.
Janet..

Threats of violence. Hmmm. The DoF has been alerted.

One small tiny thing: I know where you live, you don't know where I live.

Careful bud.

[Mr.Russell]

Re: Cumber, the proof of God’s existence Atheists

You shouldn't brother. The only people who like cucumbers are wicked self-sodomizers.

I like cucumbers.. therefore I like shoving them up my ... ?

[The Milk Man]

Re: Cucumber, the proof of God’s existence Atheists

I dont know who it is yet, but someone in heres high. Nothing makes sense.

[Meek and Humble]

Re: Cucumber, the proof of God’s existence Atheists

Look in the mirror, Milk Man.

[Chrissie Gaines]

Re: Cumber, the proof of God’s existence Atheists

Bobby-Joe, you have made me sneaky suspicious of a neighbor of mine. He's single, thin, well groomed (maybe a little TOO well groomed), and he grows CUCUMBERS along his fence every year. They are the short, fat, knobby kind, too. He claims to make pickles with them, but I don't believe him.

I'm thinking I ought to sneak into his yard late one night this summer, and spray some Round-Up for the Lord.

Pastor Billy-Reuben

Be on your guard if you spray these wicked vegetables. I too suffered the humiliation of a wife that enjoyed her vegetables a little too much. I thought I would take the temptation from her and sprayed the evil penile veggies late one night. I did not think that the wicked desire would come over her in such haste again and she picked one of the cucumbers ( a big one, almost 10 inches long and as big as your forearm) a day after I sprayed them. Well......she's now as smooth as a cucumber. If you Know what I mean. The lord and herbicides work in mysterious ways.

Verily yours.......a faithful servant.

[Steve Tenex]

Re: Cucumber, the proof of God’s existence Atheists

I think ya gonna have to watch out for carrots as well.

[Meek and Humble]

Re: Cucumber, the proof of God’s existence Atheists

Why, I don't see what's wrong with that carrot?

[aschmitz]

Re: Cucumber, the proof of God’s existence Atheists

That's a very valid point Mrs Roberts.
I remember one time when my dear departed husband was alive.
There was a loud scream from the Bathroom.
My poor husband had somehow slipped on some soap in the shower, and fell backwards on to one of these Demonic Cucumbers (which just happened to be pointing upright).
It took a team of Surgeons quite some time to remove it.
We never had Cucumber sandwiches again, after that day.
I think he re-lived it several times.

And you believed this story or should I say lie?! You'd like us to believe that that demonic cucumber was actually standing up waiting for his bum so that it could insert itself. I wonder to myself "was it covered in lubricant already?" Maybe your dear departed husband was pleasuring himself in a way you could not. According to you, this means he is burning in Hell.. hmmm not sure what to make of that... And what happened to that poor cucumber? I'm pretty sure things are only supposed to be ejected from the brown eye, but I could be wrong. I have never felt any desire to insert a cucumber in any 'oriface' other than my mouth. And it was quite tasty. mmmmmm I can test that cucumber now