[Rachael Van Helsing]

Re: Demonology

No, it wouldn't. Your company would be out of business within hours, wouldn't it, "Bumper"?

If that's meant to be an insult, either I don't get it, or it isn;t very funny.

[Pastor Al E Pistle]

Re: Demonology

Who says I don't?

However I doubt that would be a good idea while I'm at work.

No, it wouldn't. Your company would be out of business within hours, wouldn't it, "Bumper"?

[Rachael Van Helsing]

Re: Demonology

You should be in sensible house slippers and a revealing negligee while in your home at all times, just in case your husband wants to "go unto you" while you are baking pies. Boots are for men, harlot!

Who says I don't?

However I doubt that would be a good idea while I'm at work.

[SalvationSeeker]

Re: Demonology

Well said, Pastor.

old
Oohhh I'm so scared

As you rightly should be!

"But it shall come to pass, if thou wilt not hearken unto the voice of the LORD thy God, to observe to do all his commandments and his statutes which I command thee this day; that all these curses shall come upon thee, and overtake thee:
Cursed shalt thou be in the city, and cursed shalt thou be in the field.
Cursed shall be thy basket and thy store.

Cursed shall be the fruit of thy body, and the fruit of thy land, the increase of thy kine, and the flocks of thy sheep.
Cursed shalt thou be when thou comest in, and cursed shalt thou be when thou goest out.
The LORD shall send upon thee cursing, vexation, and rebuke, in all that thou settest thine hand unto for to do, until thou be destroyed, and until thou perish quickly; because of the wickedness of thy doings, whereby thou hast forsaken me.
The LORD shall make the pestilence cleave unto thee, until he have consumed thee from off the land, whither thou goest to possess it.
The LORD shall smite thee with a consumption, and with a fever, and with an inflammation, and with an extreme burning, and with the sword, and with blasting, and with mildew; and they shall pursue thee until thou perish.
And thy heaven that is over thy head shall be brass, and the earth that is under thee shall be iron.
The LORD shall make the rain of thy land powder and dust: from heaven shall it come down upon thee, until thou be destroyed.
The LORD shall cause thee to be smitten before thine enemies: thou shalt go out one way against them, and flee seven ways before them: and shalt be removed into all the kingdoms of the earth.

And thy carcase shall be meat unto all fowls of the air, and unto the beasts of the earth, and no man shall fray them away.
The LORD will smite thee with the botch of Egypt, and with the emerods, and with the scab, and with the itch, whereof thou canst not be healed.
The LORD shall smite thee with madness, and blindness, and astonishment of heart:
And thou shalt grope at noonday, as the blind gropeth in darkness, and thou shalt not prosper in thy ways: and thou shalt be only oppressed and spoiled evermore, and no man shall save thee."
Deuteronomy 28:15-29

Do you really want this to happen to you, harlot?
Because unless you accept Jesus as your personal Saviour, THIS WILL HAPPEN!

If you accept Him, we will also give you, as Pastor Pistle pointed out in another thread, a free kitten!
And if you don't accept Him, I will have it for dinner.

Either way, I cannot lose, while you on the other hand..
You risk alot by rejecting Him..

[Pastor Ezekiel]

Re: Demonology

old
Oohhh I'm so scared, I'm shaking in my heathen boots.

One more reason you are certainly headed for eternal damnation in a lake of fire, Praise Jesus!

"The woman shall not wear that which pertaineth unto a man, neither shall a man put on a woman's garment: for all that do so are abomination unto the LORD thy God." -- Deuteronomy 22:5

You should be in sensible house slippers and a revealing negligee while in your home at all times, just in case your husband wants to "go unto you" while you are baking pies. Boots are for men, harlot!

[Rachael Van Helsing]

Re: Demonology

Thank you, Brother.
*cliche cliche cliche*

old
Oohhh I'm so scared, I'm shaking in my heathen boots.

[SalvationSeeker]

Re: Demonology

Praise Jesus and congratulations Brother SS. And feel free to rebuke the slattern witch VonHellbound, as she apparently was not beaten enough as a child, nor does she have an actual Manly husband to put her in her place. She does not know God's love, and she spits in Jesus' face at every juncture.

Thank you, Brother.
Praise JESUS!
May He throw her and all other infidels in hell, to burn forever as they justly must.
By His everlasting mercy, Amen!

[Pastor Ezekiel]

Re: Demonology

Praise Jesus and congratulations Brother SS. And feel free to rebuke the slattern witch VonHellbound, as she apparently was not beaten enough as a child, nor does she have an actual Manly husband to put her in her place. She does not know God's love, and she spits in Jesus' face at every juncture.

[SalvationSeeker]

Re: Demonology

Salvation Seeker,

Once again this insufferable wench is cast down by the might of CHRIST ALMIGHTY!!! GLORY!!!

I could practically see the Blessed Lance of the Lamb descend from heaven. Salvation Seeker reaches forth and takes hold of the Holy Rod. By the might of the Holy Spirit he struck down the vile witch, piercing her betwix the bossoms until he heard a distinct cracking sound. He twists the spearhead lodged in her sternum, to the sound of yet another crack, just for good measure.

Behold, though art a True Christian™ and the power of Christ hath come to your aid and vanquished Van Hellbound once again. PRAISE!!!

PRAISE JESUS!
Clearly the Spirit has given you a vision, Brother Remy.

O sing unto the LORD a new song; for he hath done marvellous things: his right hand, and his holy arm, hath gotten him the victory.
The LORD hath made known his salvation: his righteousness hath he openly shewed in the sight of the heathen.
Psalm 98:1-2

Pour out thy wrath upon the heathen that have not known thee, and upon the kingdoms that have not called upon thy name.
Psalm 79:6

So the heathen shall fear the name of the LORD, and all the kings of the earth thy glory.
Psalm 102:15

GLORY TO THE LORD, my brother, His might has cast down the heathen!

LORD, let thy will be done.
Let Van Hellsinger learn to sing new tunes of pain as she burns in the lake of fire.
May her pain be unbearable and everlasting.
Amen!

Why exactly do you find two year old baby insults 'bad language'.....???

Because you said it!
No matter what you say, it is an affront to the LORD, and an insult to righteous Christians everywhere.

Not that which goeth into the mouth defileth a man; but that which cometh out of the mouth, this defileth a man.
Matthew 15:11

[Rachael Van Helsing]

Re: Demonology

Why exactly do you find two year old baby insults 'bad language'.....???

[Brother_Mike]

Re: Demonology

old Like I said in another thread, arguing with you people is the same as arguing with a two year old who is insisting that someone is a '$#@ $%^$% @$%@!#^'.

Watch your language harlot this isnt your local drongo pub.

[Rachael Van Helsing]

Re: Demonology

old Like I said in another thread, arguing with you people is the same as arguing with a two year old who is insisting that someone is a 'big poopyhead stinkybutt'.

[Remy Lebeau]

Re: Demonology

*Goes off into a corner muttering about rude and insufferable religious nutters*

Salvation Seeker,

Once again this insufferable wench is cast down by the might of CHRIST ALMIGHTY!!! GLORY!!!

I could practically see the Blessed Lance of the Lamb descend from heaven. Salvation Seeker reaches forth and takes hold of the Holy Rod. By the might of the Holy Spirit he struck down the vile witch, piercing her betwix the bossoms until he heard a distinct cracking sound. He twists the spearhead lodged in her sternum, to the sound of yet another crack, just for good measure.

Behold, though art a True Christian™ and the power of Christ hath come to your aid and vanquished Van Hellbound once again. PRAISE!!!

[Rachael Van Helsing]

Re: Demonology

*Goes off into a corner muttering about rude and insufferable religious nutters*

[SalvationSeeker]

Re: Demonology

Congratulations brother.

Thank you, brother.

Sweet merciful crawdads, what have I done to deserve this? old

Your life of sin, that's what.
JESUS has sent me to punish you, PRAISE HIM!