GPS

[Ksevio]

I just got a GPS for my car, but when it starts up it says "Searching for satellites". Since I know satellites can't exist (they'd just fall down like rain), is my GPS being controlled by witchcraft? I don't want Satan steering me off a cliff or something!

[James Hutchins]

Re: GPS

You answered your own question. You stated the GPS says it is searching for satellites, that everyone knows God would toss such abominations from His heavens. When it 'finds' a satellite, it is most likely sitting on the Earth where God placed it.

[Cranky Old Man]

Re: GPS

I just got a GPS for my car, but when it starts up it says "Searching for satellites". Since I know satellites can't exist (they'd just fall down like rain), is my GPS being controlled by witchcraft? I don't want Satan steering me off a cliff or something!

Of course satellites exist. How else could we have GPS, satellite TV and guidance systems for our ballistic missiles.

The lie here is NASA claiming those satellites to be in space. They are not. NASA just connects them to huge balloons and keeps them high in the air. This is also why, when there is a storm, your TV reception gets distorted. If those satellites would actually be in space those storms would have no effect on them. The insane amounts of money we give NASA to fake trips to the Moon is used for gay sex orgies.

[Lost Sheep McUinnean]

Re: GPS

So 'Solar FLares' are another fabrication too then?

I certainly can't find any Scripture to support their supposed existence. I should stop watching the news on TV, I really should.


On a similar note, dear brother Cranky Old Man, why do satellites need to be in the air in the first place?

Surely ground based cables would be more efficient?



Excuse my presumptiousness in asking, yours humbly, McUinnean.

[Cranky Old Man]

Re: GPS

On a similar note, dear brother Cranky Old Man, why do satellites need to be in the air in the first place? Surely ground based cables would be more efficient?

The cable for a ballistic missile would become too long for it to nuke Moscow.

[Lost Sheep McUinnean]

Re: GPS

The cable for a ballistic missile would become too long for it to nuke Moscow.

Of course. And there's always the danger of rebounding back to base.
Silly me.


I'm not a very technically-minded person. Thank you.

[Butch Dickerson]

Re: GPS

When the GPS tells you (in the robot lady voice) that it is "searching for satellites": you have to realize that the GPS was made in China.

Chinese commie satellites are their way of watching over us, since we owe them a bunch of money.

When my Moms' GPS tell her that it is "searching" for us, I tell here to pull the car over so I can hop out and moon them chink bastards.
Ass in the air, we are here!
Kiss my free arse you little yellow heathen kitten eaters!!
USA !! USA !! USA !!

{I have been waiting for that Google earth car, I have something special planned for its spying eyes}

[Ksevio]

Re: GPS

Surely ground based cables would be more efficient?

I sure wouldn't want to be the one in charge of untangling the mess of cables running to cars after rush hour traffic every day!

[Pastor Ezekiel]

Re: GPS

I sure wouldn't want to be the one in charge of untangling the mess of cables running to cars after rush hour traffic every day!

That makes two of us.

[BelieverInGod]

Re: GPS

Well perhaps you should consider an analogue GPS.

[Danny-Jones]

Re: GPS

Actually, one of my sisters had a job (which may sound disgusting, but she never drove there, father and I made sure of that) working in the NASA company.

She said the satelites ARE in the air, but not in 'space' (as the liberals call it), more at the height of commercial airplanes, or slightly above them to avoid collisions.

She also says most of the spacecrafts ever built for moon landings and space flights are still in hangars in Florida, and the few that were actually 'launched' merely flew into the sky until the couldn't be seen and then curved back to the ground and landing in the sea. Even secular satanists at NASA were too afraid to send a craft into God's arena.

[Cranky Old Man]

Re: GPS

one of my sisters had a job (which may sound disgusting, but she never drove there, father and I made sure of that) working in the NASA company