[Old Iron Crotch]

Re: Vivisection in Landover! Tour the Laboratory

Well you better hope you like nuts, because Satan will be pummeling your chin with his nuts in Hell if you don't repent! Your soul is on the line here, not mine.

I'll take that chance.

[KJV4me]

Re: Vivisection in Landover! Tour the Laboratory

ME give money to LBC? You must be nucking futs.

Well you better hope you like nuts, because Satan will be pummeling your chin with his nuts in Hell if you don't repent! Your soul is on the line here, not mine.

[Old Iron Crotch]

Re: Vivisection in Landover! Tour the Laboratory

By proxy. They sin by setting a bad example for us humans, what with all their unmarried fornicating, homerdom, and the like.

If they have no souls, then they have no choice about their actions - it's instinct, nothing more.

Also you should know that our covenant with God extends to our property, and that includes animals. So if thine animal's eye offends thee, cut it out, as it were.

I hope it bites you if you do.

Speaking of what's capable of sin, you certainly are! Shouldn't you consider repenting and turning to Jesus? Take the first step towards salvation, and hit that PayPal button at the bottom of the page. Your eternity is in jeopardy!

ME give money to LBC? You must be nucking futs.
Why would an omnipotent god need money anyway? If he's short on cash, then he can just say "Let there be C-notes."

[KJV4me]

Re: Vivisection in Landover! Tour the Laboratory

Since you lot don't believe animals have souls, how can you believe animals are capable of sin?

By proxy. They sin by setting a bad example for us humans, what with all their unmarried fornicating, homerdom, and the like.

Also you should know that our covenant with God extends to our property, and that includes animals. So if thine animal's eye offends thee, cut it out, as it were.

Speaking of what's capable of sin, you certainly are! Shouldn't you consider repenting and turning to Jesus? Take the first step towards salvation, and hit that PayPal button at the bottom of the page. Your eternity is in jeopardy!

[Old Iron Crotch]

Re: Vivisection in Landover! Tour the Laboratory

Dear, dear, I rather think that no one has seen you so excited before. You seem to have a lot of anger there, and it's anger against God - we here at Landover merely say it as it is and as we do.

I look upon the torments of Job as a perfect example of God's Very Own Vivisection experiment - the proposition was that the devil could convert a Servant of The Lord. The experiment proved the devil wrong. Now, as clear a case of the end justifying the means cannot be presented. - it is a lesson that has served everyone on earth, and at such small cost.

Any god that would participate in an act such as the torture of Job, or sit idly by and allow it when he had the ability to stop it, is not worthy of worship.

I'm sure that in the light of this new information, you will see matters differently. If it helps, we could send you, as a pet, a few of the blind one-armed monkeys we have left over - they would otherwise go to waste.

If I had the funds and facilities to care for the myriad poor creatures injured in the name of "research," I would take in every one of them.
Perhaps you should read Richard Adams' "The Plague Dogs." On second thought, never mind - you'd probably use it as a how-to manual.

[Old Iron Crotch]

Re: Vivisection in Landover! Tour the Laboratory

If only you knew what torture is. Landover Baptist Creation Science Laboratories is not torturing, but keeping a covenant with Almighty God!

Genesis 17:

9 And God said unto Abraham, Thou shalt keep my covenant therefore, thou, and thy seed after thee in their generations.
10 This is my covenant, which ye shall keep, between me and you and thy seed after thee; Every man child among you shall be circumcised.
11 And ye shall circumcise the flesh of your foreskin; and it shall be a token of the covenant betwixt me and you.
12 And he that is eight days old shall be circumcised among you, every man child in your generations, he that is born in the house, or bought with money of any stranger, which is not of thy seed.
13 He that is born in thy house, and he that is bought with thy money, must needs be circumcised: and my covenant shall be in your flesh for an everlasting covenant.
14 And the uncircumcised man child whose flesh of his foreskin is not circumcised, that soul shall be cut off from his people; he hath broken my covenant.

Clearly we can see that, in God's eyes, removing the "naughty bits" of sinful animals is not torture, but the exact opposite! It is keeping a covenant with God and we are in fact saving these animals from such horrible things as homersexuality and evolution. These animals are happier and better off because of it. God says so!

Since you lot don't believe animals have souls, how can you believe animals are capable of sin?

[KJV4me]

Re: Vivisection in Landover! Tour the Laboratory

I hope the next animal you attempt to torture bites the living daylights out of you. It would serve you right if it were rabid.

If only you knew what torture is. Landover Baptist Creation Science Laboratories is not torturing, but keeping a covenant with Almighty God!

Genesis 17:

9 And God said unto Abraham, Thou shalt keep my covenant therefore, thou, and thy seed after thee in their generations.
10 This is my covenant, which ye shall keep, between me and you and thy seed after thee; Every man child among you shall be circumcised.
11 And ye shall circumcise the flesh of your foreskin; and it shall be a token of the covenant betwixt me and you.
12 And he that is eight days old shall be circumcised among you, every man child in your generations, he that is born in the house, or bought with money of any stranger, which is not of thy seed.
13 He that is born in thy house, and he that is bought with thy money, must needs be circumcised: and my covenant shall be in your flesh for an everlasting covenant.
14 And the uncircumcised man child whose flesh of his foreskin is not circumcised, that soul shall be cut off from his people; he hath broken my covenant.

Clearly we can see that, in God's eyes, removing the "naughty bits" of sinful animals is not torture, but the exact opposite! It is keeping a covenant with God and we are in fact saving these animals from such horrible things as homersexuality and evolution. These animals are happier and better off because of it. God says so!

[Ezekiel Bathfire]

Re: Vivisection in Landover! Tour the Laboratory

I hope the next animal you attempt to torture bites the living daylights out of you. It would serve you right if it were rabid.

Dear, dear, I rather think that no one has seen you so excited before. You seem to have a lot of anger there, and it's anger against God - we here at Landover merely say it as it is and as we do.

I look upon the torments of Job as a perfect example of God's Very Own Vivisection experiment - the proposition was that the devil could convert a Servant of The Lord. The experiment proved the devil wrong. Now, as clear a case of the end justifying the means cannot be presented. - it is a lesson that has served everyone on earth, and at such small cost.

I'm sure that in the light of this new information, you will see matters differently. If it helps, we could send you, as a pet, a few of the blind one-armed monkeys we have left over - they would otherwise go to waste.

[Old Iron Crotch]

Re: Vivisection in Landover! Tour the Laboratory

Nope, KJV is as Pastor Ezekiel says - direct from God.

anyway God doesn't mind what you do to animals:

Genesis 9:2-9:3
And the fear of you and the dread of you shall be upon every
beast of the earth, and upon every fowl of the air, upon all
that moveth upon the earth, and upon all the fishes of the
sea; into your hand are they delivered.

And we all know what happens to God's enemies when they are delivered "into His Hands"

The Bible constantly explains how torture for God's law is a Holy Act.

I hope the next animal you attempt to torture bites the living daylights out of you. It would serve you right if it were rabid.

[Ezekiel Bathfire]

Re: Vivisection in Landover! Tour the Laboratory

The fractured writings from which you derive your scriptures were mostly in Greek and Hebrew, from which they were translarted into Latin and later to English. NONE of them were originally in English.

Nope, KJV is as Pastor Ezekiel says - direct from God.

anyway God doesn't mind what you do to animals:

Genesis 9:2-9:3
And the fear of you and the dread of you shall be upon every
beast of the earth, and upon every fowl of the air, upon all
that moveth upon the earth, and upon all the fishes of the
sea; into your hand are they delivered.

And we all know what happens to God's enemies when they are delivered "into His Hands"

The Bible constantly explains how vivisection for God's law is a Holy Act.

[Old Iron Crotch]

Re: Vivisection in Landover! Tour the Laboratory

Don't make me laugh, witch! Since when are you translating the Bible?

And from what to what? The KJV1611 Bible was dictated directly by God IN ENGLISH! There is nothing to translate.

The fractured writings from which you derive your scriptures were mostly in Greek and Hebrew, from which they were translarted into Latin and later to English. NONE of them were originally in English.

[Pastor Ezekiel]

Re: Vivisection in Landover! Tour the Laboratory

The word that the KJV tranlates as "dominion" actually is closer in meaning to "stewardship." Stewardship carries with it an obligation to treat plants and animals with compassion and respect. They are NOT yours to do with as you see fit.

Don't make me laugh, witch! Since when are you translating the Bible?

And from what to what? The KJV1611 Bible was dictated directly by God IN ENGLISH! There is nothing to translate.

[Old Iron Crotch]

Re: Vivisection in Landover! Tour the Laboratory

I fail to see the joke. Sorry. It is written that the plants and animals are given to us to use. We don't need to stop and consider anything beyond that. They are there for us to use as we see fit.

Looky here:

Genesis 1:26 And God said, Let us make man in our image, after our likeness: and let them have dominion over the fish of the sea, and over the fowl of the air, and over the cattle, and over all the earth, and over every creeping thing that creepeth upon the earth.

So where's the problem?

The word that the KJV tranlates as "dominion" actually is closer in meaning to "stewardship." Stewardship carries with it an obligation to treat plants and animals with compassion and respect. They are NOT yours to do with as you see fit.

[Herr_Doktor Phd.]

Re: Vivisection in Landover! Tour the Laboratory

Even for this site, this is a sick joke.

I fail to see the joke. Sorry. It is written that the plants and animals are given to us to use. We don't need to stop and consider anything beyond that. They are there for us to use as we see fit.

Looky here:

Genesis 1:26 And God said, Let us make man in our image, after our likeness: and let them have dominion over the fish of the sea, and over the fowl of the air, and over the cattle, and over all the earth, and over every creeping thing that creepeth upon the earth.

So where's the problem?

[Ezekiel Bathfire]

Re: Vivisection in Landover! Tour the Laboratory

Even for this site, this is a sick joke.

This, madam, is Godly work. I can see no objection and will brook no ill-tempered comments from ignorant heathens.