Creationist Museum

[Arethusa]

The World's First Creationist Museum

We pass the site where one day an animatronic Adam will squat beside the Tree. With this commitment to authenticity, I find myself asking what they are doing about the fig leaf. Marsh considers this gravely and replies: "He is appropriately positioned, so he can be modest. There will be a lamb or something there next to him. We are very careful about that: some of our donors are scared to death about nudity."

Priceless. Truly priceless. I am guessing that Landover contributed greatly to this worthy endeavour?

[Pastor Al E Pistle]

Re: Creationist Museum

The World's First Creationist Museum



Priceless. Truly priceless. I am guessing that Landover contributed greatly to this worthy endeavour?

We don't like to brag.

[tommy]

Re: Creationist Museum

What a wonderful museum. I can't wait to see it with my family.

[Pastor Isaac Peters]

Re: Creationist Museum

My son and daughter-in-law have already promised to take my grandson there as part of his home-schooling when he's old enough.

By the way, did anyone else catch this?

And, as we know, up to 50 million of them do believe that the Bible's account of Creation is literally true.

In other words, no more than 50 million, out of a population of 300 million in God's favorite country, believe the truth about Creation as expressed in God's Perfect Word. That's a quarter of a billion people damned right there, not even counting the people who accept that particular part of Scripture while indulging in some heinous heresy with regard to some other part. Fellow prayer warriors and tract distributors, we have our work cut out for us.

[Brother Phil (Quarantined)]

Re: Creationist Museum

Yeah that musem will be a wealth of knowlege... o wait, no, it wont. It will be a musem where completely idiotic "scientists" (if they can even call themselves that) made up a couple of examples of absolutely nothing! All of the exibit signs will read the same:
"The T-rex is a great example of creationism... because we want you to think that!"

[Arethusa]

Re: Creationist Museum

We don't like to brag.

Ahahahahahaha. I have noticed that. Your modesty is admirable.

In other words, no more than 50 million, out of a population of 300 million in God's favorite country, believe the truth about Creation as expressed in God's Perfect Word. That's a quarter of a billion people damned right there, not even counting the people who accept that particular part of Scripture while indulging in some heinous heresy with regard to some other part. Fellow prayer warriors and tract distributors, we have our work cut out for us.

I wouldn't try too hard--heaven could get a bit cramped if you saved too many.

[Pastor Al E Pistle]

Re: Creationist Museum

Ahahahahahaha. I have noticed that. Your modesty is admirable.

Thank you. Pride goeth before a fall so we are all very humble.

I wouldn't try too hard--heaven could get a bit cramped if you saved too many.

Heaven is on a cloud, sort of, and is above HELL, but not so far above that we can't hear the shrieks of the sinners suffering for eternity. If Heaven gets too full we can always push some of the marginal souls over the side.

[Arethusa]

Re: Creationist Museum

Heaven is on a cloud, sort of, and is above HELL, but not so far above that we can't hear the shrieks of the sinners suffering for eternity. If Heaven gets too full we can always push some of the marginal souls over the side.

OoooOOooh. That's convenient. But what if one of the Landovers get pushed off by the marginal souls? Is gravity in heaven controlled by soul density: the heavier the soul, the purer the spirit?

[Pastor Al E Pistle]

Re: Creationist Museum

OoooOOooh. That's convenient. But what if one of the Landovers get pushed off by the marginal souls? Is gravity in heaven controlled by soul density: the heavier the soul, the purer the spirit?

GOD invented the laws of physics, so we can learn about Him from observing them. For instance....when HELL overflows, volcanoes erupt and push out millions of tons of ash and lava, which is the residue of damned souls SATAN has no more room to keep. If you calculate that each damned soul is about a cupful of ash, a LOT of people have gone to hell!

In answer to your other question: Landover Baptists are all seated at the right hand of GOD and are in no danger of falling off. There is no gravity in Heaven of course. People who are pushed off the side are sucked into the Lake of Fire by the devil's minions operating the mother of all Hoovers.

[OnYourKnees]

Re: Creationist Museum

Yeah that musem will be a wealth of knowlege... o wait, no, it wont. It will be a musem where completely idiotic "scientists" (if they can even call themselves that) made up a couple of examples of absolutely nothing! All of the exibit signs will read the same:
"The T-rex is a great example of creationism... because we want you to think that!"

I do believe the term you seek is "scientician".

[Marshall]

Re: Creationist Museum

A real museum of history, finally!
Lots of field trips from the Compound will be happening I can tell you that.
It's about time the Sciensatanists get shunned in favor of Christian reason.

[Arethusa]

Re: Creationist Museum

GOD invented the laws of physics, so we can learn about Him from observing them. For instance....when HELL overflows, volcanoes erupt and push out millions of tons of ash and lava, which is the residue of damned souls SATAN has no more room to keep. If you calculate that each damned soul is about a cupful of ash, a LOT of people have gone to hell!

In answer to your other question: Landover Baptists are all seated at the right hand of GOD and are in no danger of falling off. There is no gravity in Heaven of course. People who are pushed off the side are sucked into the Lake of Fire by the devil's minions operating the mother of all Hoovers.

You know, that's funny. Lava does cause a lot of destruction, of course, but what is left after the eruption tends to make the surrounding land very fertile. Very rich soil. Damned souls seem to be good for something.

What about tsunamis? What are they made of?

[Bobby-Joe]

Re: Creationist Museum

You know, that's funny. Lava does cause a lot of destruction, of course, but what is left after the eruption tends to make the surrounding land very fertile. Very rich soil. Damned souls seem to be good for something.

What about tsunamis? What are they made of?

The Hand of God® stiring the sea to smite sinners.

[OnYourKnees]

Re: Creationist Museum

You know, that's funny. Lava does cause a lot of destruction, of course, but what is left after the eruption tends to make the surrounding land very fertile. Very rich soil. Damned souls seem to be good for something.

Composted manure also consists of waste, and stinks, but when buried makes for a rich soil.

Coincidence?

The Hand of God® stirring the sea to smite sinners.

While True Christians(tm) just have a grand day at the beach!

[Pastor Al E Pistle]

Re: Creationist Museum

You know, that's funny. Lava does cause a lot of destruction, of course, but what is left after the eruption tends to make the surrounding land very fertile. Very rich soil. Damned souls seem to be good for something.

What about tsunamis? What are they made of?

Water. But I suppose you want a more detailed answer.