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  • #1

    Easter is coming up soon - SOON!



    Exactly what the date is I could not tell you, as it varies from one year to the next. This is why our Godly Church MEN are in charge of giving out this sort of information.

    Seems like Christmas is barely over with, doesn't it?

    YES - IT DOES!!!

    AND THAT IS THE EXACT POINT OF MY MESSAGE! SOME OF YOU GOD-LESS PSEUDO-"CHRISTIANS" HAVE ALREADY TAKEN DOWN YOUR CHRISTMAS DECORATIONS - HAVEN'T YOU? HAVEN'T YOU, NOW?!!!!!

    So don't expect to see Him 'hopping down the bunny trail' to your God-less "Home" any time soon! HE KNOWS WHO YOU ARE! So put them back up! Up! Up! NOW!!!!!

    That's Right, Joe and Mary 6-pack, you climb Right back up there on that ladder Right now and do it for HIM!!! And I DON'T mean the Cadbury Bunny!!!!!!

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  • #2
    Re: Easter is coming up soon - SOON!

    I think the world would be a better place if we celebrated Easter during Spring and Summer, then celebrated Christmas Fall through Winter! Surely our Lord Jesus Christ is worthy of such celebration. And as far at that bunny goes . . . stew! But I went ahead and asked my husband about when Easter is and he told me real soon and said I should start making my creative casseroles, delightful baked goods, and have a cold beer ready for Him always.

    PS Does Jesus really want me to change the oil in Elmer's truck (this seems a bit far-fetched to me)?
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    Jesus - gentle, dependable overnight relief.

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    • #3
      Re: Easter is coming up soon - SOON!

      Godly reasoning, Mother Glynndie. Just as soon as we take a break in our Christian Celebrations, God-lessness begins seeping in.

      Like, look at that secular 4th of July! Does anyone shout "Praise Jesus" when fireworks burst?

      Except for me, I mean.

      Comment

      • #4
        Re: Easter is coming up soon - SOON!

        Have you seen THIS abomination of our Lord Jesus? A chocolate naked Jesus, done by a mary-worshiping hippie, and proudly exhibited by the jew-controlled media, who didn't want to offend the terrorists by showing Danish cartoons of their false prophet Moohannad (piss be upon him).
        Who Will Jesus Damn?

        Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

        Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

        Need Pastoral Advice? Contact me privately at PastorEzekiel@landoverbaptist.net TODAY!!

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        • #5
          Re: Easter is coming up soon - SOON!



          Oh my GOD, Pastor Ezekiel, they've made Him to look like a hook-nosed joo-neegroe! It's the Armageddon! The Armageddon, I say!!!

          And now He's going to be made to look like He's soiled His Sweet Diaper, too. THIS IS WHAT WE GET FOR TAKING PRAYER OUT OF THE PUBIC SCHOOLS!!!!!

          The ultimate insult: The Children are going to ask if it's okay to, uh....."eat" Him....

          I am feeling so Ill over all of this. Praise you for bringing this to our attention so we can think about doing something about it!

          Comment

          • #6
            Re: Easter is coming up soon - SOON!

            I am glad that you xtians are going to celebrate the first full moon after the vernal equinox. It is a wonderful time when the earth awakes from its slumber and life oozes out of the ground and covers our naked bodies as we roll in the mud.

            Glad you could make it!

            SF
            I am on the adventure of a lifetime! This is even better than the time I used the plastic stones!

            Comment

            • #7
              Re: Easter is coming up soon - SOON!

              Originally posted by Star Finder View Post
              I am glad that you xtians are going to celebrate the first full moon after the vernal equinox. It is a wonderful time when the earth awakes from its slumber and life oozes out of the ground and covers our naked bodies as we roll in the mud.

              Glad you could make it!

              SF
              Okay, that's just nasty. There was no need to burden us with mental images of your flabby white body flopping around in the mud while a coven of hideous old hags who've never seen proper ladies undergarments are howling and tossing saved menstrual blood over a sacrificed goat head. That makes Jesus sick to His stomach.
              Who Will Jesus Damn?

              Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

              Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

              Need Pastoral Advice? Contact me privately at PastorEzekiel@landoverbaptist.net TODAY!!

              Comment

              • #8
                Re: Easter is coming up soon - SOON!

                Originally posted by Pastor Ezekiel View Post
                Okay, that's just nasty. There was no need to burden us with mental images of your flabby white body flopping around in the mud while a coven of hideous old hags who've never seen proper ladies undergarments are howling and tossing saved menstrual blood over a sacrificed goat head. That makes Jesus sick to His stomach.
                That sure makes my spaghetti and bolognaise sauce taste less nice right now...

                Comment

                • #9
                  Re: Easter is coming up soon - SOON!

                  Aw, lookie what my precious pooch dropped in my lap today. A sweet pair of bunny ears. Just in time for Easter!

                  GLORY!

                  Lve, Sister Thumper
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                  • #10
                    Re: Easter is coming up soon - SOON!

                    Mighty big rabbits in those there parts!

                    maybe like the one that attacked the great President "Jimmy" Carter.
                    I am on the adventure of a lifetime! This is even better than the time I used the plastic stones!

                    Comment

                    • #11
                      Re: Easter is coming up soon - SOON!

                      Originally posted by Pastor Ezekiel View Post
                      Okay, that's just nasty. There was no need to burden us with mental images of your flabby white body flopping around in the mud while a coven of hideous old hags who've never seen proper ladies undergarments are howling and tossing saved menstrual blood over a sacrificed goat head. That makes Jesus sick to His stomach.
                      Oh my GOD, Pastor, old Rocky Road here has been hooking up with Lilith & Hellsinker? An unHolier Trinity I cannot imagine!

                      This could be enough to cause Sweet Baby Jesus (that Dear old 'Easter Ham' of ours) to climb Right back up onto His Cross!

                      Comment

                      • #12
                        Re: Easter is coming up soon - SOON!

                        Originally posted by BibleThumpinBlonde View Post
                        Aw, lookie what my precious pooch dropped in my lap today. A sweet pair of bunny ears. Just in time for Easter!

                        GLORY!

                        Lve, Sister Thumper
                        At the same time your picture completely debunks global warming, Sister! If the Earth really is heating up, then why is there snow on your picture, in April? It just wouldn't make sense if it was getting warmer!

                        Praise!

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                        • #13
                          Re: Easter is coming up soon - SOON!

                          Once again, that cursed Peter Cottontail mocks Jesus!

                          DAMN HIM TO HELL!!
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                          • #14
                            Re: Easter is coming up soon - SOON!

                            I'm guessing you guys don't like the easter bunnie then? Well I concur with you. Religions should not be glorify for presents and chocolate. The real meaning behind he day has been lost, Right now shops are full to the brim of chocolate eggs, and children are saying 'gimmie gimmie' But not.. " what is special about this time?" How utterly sad. I detest commercialism.
                            One Love, One Pain, One enemy.

                            Found you out ? I thought so. Funny people. Funny.

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                            • #15
                              Re: Easter is coming up soon - SOON!

                              Originally posted by Alexia View Post
                              I'm guessing you guys don't like the easter bunnie then? Well I concur with you. Religions should not be glorify for presents and chocolate. The real meaning behind he day has been lost, Right now shops are full to the brim of chocolate eggs, and children are saying 'gimmie gimmie' But not.. " what is special about this time?" How utterly sad. I detest commercialism.
                              As firm believers in Jesus perfect economic system capitalism we think commercialism is great. Jesus loves it when you buy stuff for His Holy Days. What we object to the attempted by the tree borthers to inject anti-Christian pagan symbolism into OUR holiday.

                              The Easter Bunny is an attack against Christ.

                              Time to reclaim our FREEDOM from the “Mullah in Chief” and his growing activist voter hoards of socialists, communists, anti-Semites, anti-Christians, atheists, radical gays and lesbians, feminists, illegal immigrants, Muslims, anti-Anglo whites and others.

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                              Time to come clean on Benghazi Mr Obama!

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