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  • Daisy Mae Johnson
    The Future Mrs. Ezekiel Flint
    Voted Best Pies in Freehold 10 Years Running
    aka the Biblethumpin Blonde
    True Christian™
    • Sep 2006
    • 15708
    #1

    CONTEST! Most Hilarious/Depressing Goth/Emo Poems

    Winner will receive a good belly laugh.

    I bet her fat little cheeks wobbled as she shed fat, little Twinkie scented tears of depression.
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    My GODLY Bio Here
    Tags: goths will burn in hell
    • Pastor Isaac Peters
      Senior Pastor
      Ex-liberal; converted to True Christianity™
      Always Biblically correct
      True Christian™
      • Sep 2006
      • 10639
      #2
      Re: CONTEST! Most Hilarious/Depressing Goth/Emo Poems

      If I may add something: No fair using this.
      This church is dedicated to preaching True Christianity™ and the King James Bible exactly as they are, with no alterations to make them more politically correct for modern liberals. If you think that we've misquoted or twisted Scripture or quoted any verse out of context, please explain in detail how we've done so. Otherwise, if what you read on this site offends you, then you're offended by Almighty God and His Word, not by us.

      Questions to ask liberal "Christians" ✞ Things that the Bible doesn't say ✞ Tolerance

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        • Daisy Mae Johnson
          The Future Mrs. Ezekiel Flint
          Voted Best Pies in Freehold 10 Years Running
          aka the Biblethumpin Blonde
          True Christian™
          • Sep 2006
          • 15708
          #3
          Re: CONTEST! Most Hilarious/Depressing Goth/Emo Poems

          (sang to the tune of I'm a Little Tea pot)

          I'm a Gothapotomus short and stout. Cut me open and I'll bleed out.

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          Tweet me Here
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            • Negative_Cool
              Forum Member
              Forum Member
              • Mar 2009
              • 63
              #4
              Re: CONTEST! Most Hilarious/Depressing Goth/Emo Poems



              Not really a poem but slightly humerous none the less.

              Your brother in Christ, NC.
              Last edited by Jeb Stuart Thurmond; 03-06-2009, 07:02 AM.
              Jesus, I'm never going to give you up! Jesus, I'm never going to let you down!
              Jesus, I'm never going to run around and desert you!
              Jesus, I'm never going to make you cry! Jesus, I'm never going to say goodbye!
              Jesus, I'm never going to tell a lie and hurt you!

                Comment

                • Pastor Isaac Peters
                  Senior Pastor
                  Ex-liberal; converted to True Christianity™
                  Always Biblically correct
                  True Christian™
                  • Sep 2006
                  • 10639
                  #5
                  Re: CONTEST! Most Hilarious/Depressing Goth/Emo Poems

                  The wickedan temper tantrum has been split off to a new thread. Now, on with the show!
                  This church is dedicated to preaching True Christianity™ and the King James Bible exactly as they are, with no alterations to make them more politically correct for modern liberals. If you think that we've misquoted or twisted Scripture or quoted any verse out of context, please explain in detail how we've done so. Otherwise, if what you read on this site offends you, then you're offended by Almighty God and His Word, not by us.

                  Questions to ask liberal "Christians" ✞ Things that the Bible doesn't say ✞ Tolerance

                  sigpic

                    Comment

                    • Pastor Ezekiel
                      Putting the "stud" back in Bible Study
                       
                      • Sep 2006
                      • 78551
                      #6
                      Re: CONTEST! Most Hilarious/Depressing Goth/Emo Poems

                      Here's a couple I found scrawled in a public toilet somewhere along the Interstate.

                      "u suck"

                      I'm dark and sensitive with low self esteem
                      The way I dress makes me feel like everyday is Halloween
                      I have no real problems
                      But I like to make believe
                      I stole my sisters mascara
                      Now I'm grounded for a week
                      Sulking and writing poetry are my hobbies
                      I can't get through a Hawthorne Heights album without sobbing
                      Girls keep breaking up with me
                      Its never any fun
                      They say they already have a p****
                      They don't need another one
                      "who am i?"

                      you here me talk
                      but do you really listen?
                      you see me in pain
                      but do you even care?
                      you see i'm falling
                      but would you help me up?
                      you see i'm being buried alive
                      would you dig me up?
                      My heart is broken
                      But will you fix it?
                      I'm so depressed
                      will you be depressed with me?
                      Rip my brain of every memory of you
                      Would you do the same?
                      Who Will Jesus Damn?

                      Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

                      Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

                      Need Pastoral Advice? Contact me privately at PastorEzekiel@landoverbaptist.net TODAY!!

                        Comment

                        • TheEvilutionofChris
                          Unsaved trash
                          Under Investigation
                          • Mar 2009
                          • 1
                          #7
                          Re: CONTEST! Most Hilarious/Depressing Goth/Emo Poems

                          Blimey - careful with that joke, its an antique! It's been doing the rounds on the internet for over 2 years now.

                          Here's a poem for you:

                          Ode To My Father

                          £3,507.43 in miscellaneous rent and deposits.

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