[MitzaLizalor]

A Gnostic Buddhist Zoroastrian Sufi would be something to behold. When I heard about "the whirling dervish" which is a type of Sufi, I was expecting something like this. (Panel 1) Yikes! Was I disappointed? (see panel 2)

PANEL 1
14 seconds of life you'll never get back (but he is more entertaining than the dervishes)
PANEL 2
The Whirling Dervish Q: Is this the most unentertaining spectacle in the history of the stage? . . .(18 seconds)
A: Yes!

But now I have to imagine the same combination as a prelude to the Báb? Christ's message is simple, easy to understand – regardless of warehouses full of turgid prose done by bloated charlatans in the meantime. God knew that would happen and made sure we knew too.

Matthew 18:3 [Jesus speaking] Verily I say unto you, Except ye be converted, and become as little children, ye shall not enter into the kingdom of heaven.

This Manichean stuff clearly does not qualify according to Christ's definition of what's required for enlightenment. No syncretistic gobbledygook, no slow twirlings to go dizzy and see spots, as if one couldn't get the same effect rolling down a hillside, no Thomas Aquinases and certainly no Michel Foucaults. Presumably they all decry one another as heretics from the cause and as for gobbledygook, the sky's the limit. None of this is love.

Song of Solomon 2:4 He brought me to the banqueting house, and his banner over me was love.

[Johny Joe Hold]

I know this should be a dead cult, but there are many succesful attempts to resurrect it:

Manicheans
Description: A cult that mixes Gnosticism with Buddhism, Zoroastrianism, Islamic Sufism and more. Was founded by the charlatan Mani and is a precursor to Bahai. Supposedly "dead", is recently resurfacing via the Sinternet.
Worship: Saints, Angels, Buddhas, pagan gods and Satan

I must confess, Father Rovaganati, to being a little suspicious of propaganda that comes from Rome. In this case, Rome might see the Manicheans as competitors. I see they have "celibacy of the elect" as part of their practices. If celibacy means alter boys, we can expect Rome to see it as competition.

manicheans beliefs - Search

[Romeo Rovagnati]

I know this should be a dead cult, but there are many succesful attempts to resurrect it:

Manicheans
Description: A cult that mixes Gnosticism with Buddhism, Zoroastrianism, Islamic Sufism and more. Was founded by the charlatan Mani and is a precursor to Bahai. Supposedly "dead", is recently resurfacing via the Sinternet.
Worship: Saints, Angels, Buddhas, pagan gods and Satan

[MitzaLizalor]

I've confused the religion of Bashar al-Assad with the Amadiyya movement.

Don't worry. A typo can happen to anyone at any time. And besides, this Assad creature was a bath party-ist (some sort of Arab communism) hence doubly opposed to God's will on all fronts. You may recall that King David was sidetracked bigly by a bath party of his own.

.

BATHSHEBA: “Oh yes, just the spot for a bath”

Now unless you hold that David's wives and concubines in fact represented a form of social welfare for war widows (do you?) we can be fairly sure that he was not a socialist. Perhaps that's why God eschewed a direct smiting in his case but for Assad, it's unavoidable relocation not only for his peculiar-looking wife but for he himself in perpetuity. (However long that is for exsanguinated dictators in Moscow.)

So I wouldn't worry too much and if the memory of the pair is fading, here's a friendly reminder of our recent loss and Russia's chirpy gain.

.

For him	For her
_	_

In Christ.

[Romeo Rovagnati]

Alawis
Description: A bunch of Muslims who suddently saw the light and decided that Jesus was crucified. Despite this, they chose to stay in their moon-worshipping delusions.

I realized I made a mistake: I've confused the religion of Bashar al-Assad with the Amadiyya movement. Oh well, not that God cares anyway.

[Johny Joe Hold]

Actually, Islam is split in the following cults:

Shiites
Practices: Cutting themselves with blades and scimitars during an (un)holiday called Ashura, cherry picking the Quran(us)..
Worship: the terrorist Ayatollah Kamehamenei, the Zulfiqar (a rip-off of King Arthur's Excalibur), Imam al-Mahdi (a codeword for the Antichrist) and Satan

Sunnis
Practices: Blowing up themselves, memorizing three outdated texts (the Quran, the Hadith and the Sira), selling oil to the West
Worship: The Saudi Royal Family, the family of their "prophet", the Sunna, Satan

I think some self-examination would be helpful for you, Father Romero. No religion gets happier over blood than Catholics. The best blood of Jesus comes from an area of France called Bordeaux, "..full bodied character and fruit-forward.." Priests can buy the best blood of Jesus for just under $3,000 per bottle:


Acker Wines | Fine Wine Auctions & Wine Shop Since 1820

[Romeo Rovagnati]

Please post any new false religions you run across on this thread, so that they can be added to the register.
Muslims (mudslims)
Submitted by: the
worship: the Moon, although they are really bowing to Satan, who told them to worship the Moon

Actually, Islam is split in the following cults:

Shiites
Practices: Cutting themselves with blades and scimitars during an (un)holiday called Ashura, cherry picking the Quran(us)..
Worship: the terrorist Ayatollah Kamehamenei, the Zulfiqar (a rip-off of King Arthur's Excalibur), Imam al-Mahdi (a codeword for the Antichrist) and Satan

Sunnis
Practices: Blowing up themselves, memorizing three outdated texts (the Quran, the Hadith and the Sira), selling oil to the West
Worship: The Saudi Royal Family, the family of their "prophet", the Sunna, Satan

Sufis
Practices: Spinning constantly while attemping to reunite with "Allah" (demon possession)
Worship: Various "Saints", the greatest of all being Satan

Alawis
Description: A bunch of Muslims who suddently saw the light and decided that Jesus was crucified. Despite this, they chose to stay in their moon-worshipping delusions.

Also, may I add the gypsies among the false religions?

Gypsies
Description: They scam people with divination and tarot cards. Otherwise, they still attempt to steal money to honest people via pickpocketing. Both actions are disapproved by God and approved by Satan.

[MitzaLizalor]

Kemetism
Description: A bunch of Hamites who believes the are the Pharaoh of Egypt and (attempted) to revive its rituals.
Worship: Some furry demons and Satan.

Kekism
Description: A bunch of social rejects who dwells on 4Chan and believes they are Nazi frog furries.

Federation of Damanhur
Description: A guild of deluded roleplayers of Dungeons & Dragons . . .

While your contribution to the discussion is appreciated, there seems to be a theme emerging of concern to those of us praying for your Salvation. I've highlighted the red flags (in yellow) and must caution others that furry as a caste is broadening its agenda to include materials other than fur. “What is a furry today?” becomes a valid question. Vinyl inflatables, requiring refrigerated underwear, are clearly not made from fur fabric. Then there's spraying oneself with paint in the nude with buttons, googly eyes, tentacles and the like applied using specialist adhesives. You may think such creatures remain indoors but no, they go out like that. Even wearing lace tablecloths and vivid satin regalia—as though the curtains and one's kimono had become fused in a laundromat—whilst laughable to any normal person, has aficionados regarding themselves as the acme of cool.

Now in your examples, there's enough information to persuade me that orgiastic rituals are involved. And perhaps someone might paint themselves or dress up in a blimp-suit to attend an ordinary old orgy devoid of cultic overtones. Sure! Why not? Are there degrees of Hell for those rejecting Christ? Remember to waterproof the floor, set out a shingle and see who turns up. But obviously anyone needing to do that would be waiting a long time. Fur-suits, blimp-suits and tablecloths exist to PREVENT human contact, not encourage it, in dungeons of their own making.

As you know, I'm always willing to see the other side of any matter and yes, there could be a legit. reason to get inflated. Employment is one instance, although not a job I'd take myself, yet even here the repulse field surrounding any fur- or blimp-suited abomination is VERY apparent. Why anyone thought this would work is beyond me, bringing us back to your initial point: Pharaohs, frog-identifiers, D&D or MMORPG nuts (some being spray painted) all worship Satan whose ultimate objective is for everyone to be as isolated as he.
Check out the repulse field here:

[Johny Joe Hold]

It's time to do something about the atheists and secular heathens. Shut them down is our only choice.

The Freedom From Religion Foundation is growing. So are American Atheists and Secular Humanists. All of these cults exist to stop Jesus from sending all of us in Landover Baptist to a blissful hereafter. They need to be eliminated forever.

Proof of their evil intentions was said out loud by Annie Gaylor of Freedom From Religion. She said her group is focused on making life on this earth better because it is the only life we have. What nonsense. It's a waste of our time to save "the environment" for future generations. People who pay money into these organizations do that for one reason, they love sin. Jesus is returning soon and we who do not sin will ascend to an eternity of luxury. To worry about how the sinners like Gaylor survive here on earth is folly. I wish Elon Musk and President Trump would send the military into the offices of these organizations, burn everything there and put padlocks on the doors.

Nontheist groups see rise in members, donations since Trump’s election

[Romeo Rovagnati]

Since no one posted about this cult, I'll do it:

Federation of Damanhur
Description: A guild of deluded roleplayers of Dungeons & Dragons that lives in a temple underneath the mountains in the province of Turin (one of the most Satanic cities in the world).
Practices: Tarot, Divination, a nonsense caste system with too many jobs and paths
Worship: All of the false gods the deluded part of the mankind worshipped so far, including Satan

[Romeo Rovagnati]

I was wondering why there is not "Christian" Science from Mary Baker Eddy in the list. I mean, her cult and the one founded by Ellen G. White are both wicked enough to be warned about.

[Romeo Rovagnati]

This helps explain why the Christians, led by Moses, needed to get out of Egypt. Besides Paganism, there was this kind of kinky sex business.

No surprise that one of their idols is named ISIS.

[Johny Joe Hold]

Speaking of Egyptians, there is another religion related to them that recently came in my mind:

Kekism
Description: A bunch of social rejects who dwells on 4Chan and believes they are Nazi frog furries. They believe they live in a country named "Kekistan" (a codeword for Hell)
Practices: Putting furry frogs as their profile image, practicing witchcraft (meme magic), sodomy (since Alex Jones pointed out that all frogs are sodomites).
Worship: Frog idols from the Egyptian pantheon and Satan
Note: Don't believe them when they say they are joking, as Discordianists do the same.

This helps explain why the Christians, led by Moses, needed to get out of Egypt. Besides Paganism, there was this kind of kinky sex business.

[Romeo Rovagnati]

Speaking of Egyptians, there is another religion related to them that recently came in my mind:

Kekism
Description: A bunch of social rejects who dwells on 4Chan and believes they are Nazi frog furries. They believe they live in a country named "Kekistan" (a codeword for Hell)
Practices: Putting furry frogs as their profile image, practicing witchcraft (meme magic), sodomy (since Alex Jones pointed out that all frogs are sodomites).
Worship: Frog idols from the Egyptian pantheon and Satan
Note: Don't believe them when they say they are joking, as Discordianists do the same.

[Johny Joe Hold]

Really, I don't want to have anything to do with the Egyptians. They were mean to the early Christians, enslaved them. Then when Moses led the Christians out of slavery the witless Egyptians tried to stop him with chariots they borrowed from the circus.