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  • Pastor Ezekiel
    replied
    Re: Is Landover Baptist Church a CULT?

    Originally posted by Ibelievenietzchienot View Post
    I was under the impression that cults were simply lesser practised religions.
    Please make a thread of your own in the "Introductions" section of the forum, so that we can properly greet you. Tell us about yourself, your church, and how you came to find Jesus.

    And if you're here to flame us, better take a look at THIS before making an even bigger ass out of yourself.

    Leave a comment:


  • Ibelievenietzchienot
    replied
    Re: Is Landover Baptist Church a CULT?

    I was under the impression that cults were simply lesser practised religions.

    Leave a comment:


  • GodIsAlmighty
    replied
    Re: Is Landover Baptist Church a CULT?

    I think Satan made him distort his ideas into unfitting words. And the pot he must have smoked before each post probably did not help.

    Leave a comment:


  • Rev. M. Rodimer
    replied
    Re: Is Landover Baptist Church a CULT?

    Originally posted by Servant of eskimo demons View Post
    Bizarre, self-contradictory rant
    Did anyone understand that?

    Leave a comment:


  • Servant of eskimo demons
    replied
    Re: Is Landover Baptist Church a CULT?

    Satan is but a Pawn to His Grace. He is no more worth the worship than my toenail clippings.

    And how do you dear deny the horrors of Selríðingar. The holy ceremony of Seal blowing. It is by far the best way of communicating with the highest of His Servants, the Icelandic Landselir.

    And my messages are all hateful. They are not empowered by His Love. If it was not for my undying love for the damned I would simply have left you to my lies and delusions. But than I would have felt the slightest sense of happiness in the afterlife when I will watch your glee. By leaving you these posts I will blame myself of all responsibility for my damnation.

    Leave a comment:


  • James Hutchins
    replied
    Re: Is Landover Baptist Church a CULT?

    Originally posted by Servant of eskimo demons View Post
    As I already explained here http://www.landoverbaptist.net/showt...t=1997&page=45
    your "Bible" is nothing more than food for the furnace, a piece of paper so unworthy that wiping your ass with it is almost sinful. The fact that you demon spawn still cling to that thing is as clear a sign as any imaginable of your wicked nature and your inevitable doom.
    You mean this?
    Originally posted by Servant of eskimo demons View Post
    The wonderful book you call the Bible is the Word Of The Lord. The only real account of his laws is held by God, the American institution for the preservation of ancient documents. It is only to be seen by True Christians™as unwashed mongrels fropm iceland would pollute it be merely laying our blind eyes upon them.

    And don't go quoting our viking malarkey material as it is of no worth to a man that has seen the light of His Word.
    You seem to be contradicting yourself. Been drinking bucko?

    Leave a comment:


  • Pastor Ezekiel
    replied
    Re: Is Landover Baptist Church a CULT?

    Originally posted by Servant of eskimo demons View Post
    As I already explained here http://www.landoverbaptist.net/showt...t=1997&page=45
    your "Bible" is nothing more than food for the furnace, a piece of paper so unworthy that wiping your ass with it is almost sinful. The fact that you demon spawn still cling to that thing is as clear a sign as any imaginable of your wicked nature and your inevitable doom.
    Dear Godmocking Eskimo Savage;

    Thank you for taking the time out of your busy schedule of worshiping satan and fornicating with baby seals to post this hateful message. The Holy Bible tells us that we are actually Blessed by your persecution! Thanks for proving that we're right.

    Matthew 5:10 Blessed are they which are persecuted for righteousness' sake: for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.
    5:11 Blessed are ye, when men shall revile you, and persecute you, and shall say all manner of evil against you falsely, for my sake.
    5:12 Rejoice, and be exceeding glad: for great is your reward in heaven: for so persecuted they the prophets which were before you.
    Enjoy hell. I know that Jesus and I can't wait to watch you burn in hell for all eternity. Oh, how we'll laugh at you as you scream in agony! Shout Glory!!

    YIC,

    --Pastor Ezekiel

    Leave a comment:


  • Servant of eskimo demons
    replied
    Re: Is Landover Baptist Church a CULT?

    As I already explained here http://www.landoverbaptist.net/showt...t=1997&page=45
    your "Bible" is nothing more than food for the furnace, a piece of paper so unworthy that wiping your ass with it is almost sinful. The fact that you demon spawn still cling to that thing is as clear a sign as any imaginable of your wicked nature and your inevitable doom.

    Leave a comment:


  • Pastor Ezekiel
    replied
    Re: Is Landover Baptist Church a CULT?

    Originally posted by Servantofthetruelord View Post
    Cult or no cult you will all be damned when He Of Ultimate Power comes back for your wretched souls.

    The devil will spare you no punishment as you are due for more than even he can give.
    Can you back any of that up with Scripture?

    Leave a comment:


  • Servant of eskimo demons
    replied
    Re: Is Landover Baptist Church a CULT?

    Cult or no cult you will all be damned when He Of Ultimate Power comes back for your wretched souls.

    The devil will spare you no punishment as you are due for more than even he can give.

    Leave a comment:


  • Rev. M. Rodimer
    replied
    Re: Is Landover Baptist Church a CULT?

    Originally posted by thelordwasmydogsname View Post
    Jesus is a mythological amalgamation of various pagan gods and deities invented by the Egyptians and other cultures.

    [snip]

    However, they do not celebrate the resurrection of the sun until the Spring Equinox, or Easter. This is because at the Spring Equinox the sun officially overpowers the evil darkness, as daytime thereafter becomes longer in duration than the night, and the revitalizing conditions of spring emerge.
    Sure you don't mean Mithra?

    Originally posted by Bill Murray View Post
    i dont think its a cult i think we are just some cool dudes that like jesus a bunch dont be a jerk or you might get a hell when you die
    I think Rahm Emanuel has something to say to you.

    Leave a comment:


  • Bill Murray
    replied
    Re: Is Landover Baptist Church a CULT?

    i dont think its a cult i think we are just some cool dudes that like jesus a bunch dont be a jerk or you might get a hell when you die

    Leave a comment:


  • Pastor Rune Enoe
    replied
    Re: Is Landover Baptist Church a CULT?

    Originally posted by thelordwasmydogsname View Post
    Jesus is a mythological amalgamation of various pagan gods and deities invented by the Egyptians and other cultures.

    [snip]
    However, they do not celebrate the resurrection of the sun until the Spring Equinox, or Easter. This is because at the Spring Equinox the sun officially overpowers the evil darkness, as daytime thereafter becomes longer in duration than the night, and the revitalizing conditions of spring emerge.
    Your salvation is hanging by a very thin thread indeed.

    I have taking the liberty of deleting the massive copy/paste, which you have posted twice. If you want to stay here, you'll have to go to the introduction forum and ask for a name change to a less blasphemous name.

    I'm praying for you, Son.

    Leave a comment:


  • Levi Jones
    replied
    Re: Is Landover Baptist Church a CULT?

    Originally posted by thelordwasmydogsname View Post
    Jesus is a mythological amalgamation of various pagan gods and deities invented by the Egyptians and other cultures.
    Egypt 3000 BC Horus:
    He was born on December 25th of a virgin (Isis Mary)
    According to your Egyptian myths: Isis was not a virgin, numbnuts. She was married to Osiris. Seth killed and dismembered Osiris, so Isis put his body back together and had sex with it to conceive Horus.

    Originally posted by thelordwasmydogsname View Post
    • A star in the East proclaimed his arrival
    If you can find that anywhere in the Book of the Dead, I will paypal you $10. (hint: you won't be able to, because it isn't there.)

    Originally posted by thelordwasmydogsname View Post
    • Three kings came to adore the new-born savior
    An event that never took place in the Bible. Show me in the Holy Bible where three wise men visited Jesus.

    Originally posted by thelordwasmydogsname View Post
    He became a prodigious teacher at age 12
    Link to Horus teaching as a child or entering a temple to teach at all?


    Originally posted by thelordwasmydogsname View Post
    Horus had twelve disciples
    Wrong again, skippy. He allegedly had 16 human followers and 4 sub gods and blacksmiths who followed him into battle to avenge his father's death.


    Originally posted by thelordwasmydogsname View Post
    He was crucified He was buried for three days He was resurrected after three days
    No, no and no. There is one unofficial account that has Horus dying and his body parts being thrown into a river. There are no other accounts of Horus dying.

    Originally posted by thelordwasmydogsname View Post
    Referred to as “The lamb of God” and “the light”

    Great God, Chief of the Powers, Master of Heaven, and Avenger of His Father. Nothing there about being the lamb of God.

    I'm starting to see a pattern here. It's you talking out of your backside. Care to put out any proof of that claim outside of Massey's money making scheme?

    I'm not going to bother with the rest of your ill-informed ignorant blasphemy.

    Try thinking for yourself instead of being spoonfed from some stupid book.

    Leave a comment:


  • Ezekiel Bathfire
    replied
    Re: Is Landover Baptist Church a CULT?

    Originally posted by prochoice View Post
    No I wouldnt consider it a cult at all. Wait.. Do you guys receive any money? If so ya. Definitely a cult.
    The amount we receive is pitiful, surely you would not deny those who save souls such things as free medical care, housing, (utilities, food etc) subsidized vacations, use of cars and light aircraft, etc., when all we are paid is a little below the national average of $125,000 plus bonuses?

    Leave a comment:

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