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  • #1

    NOW AVAILABLE: The Official Landover Baptist Guide to Wicca!

    Praise Jesus!! Follow THIS link and you will be taken to the long-awaited Landover Baptist Church Guide to the Wiccan cult! Just in time for Halloween (satan's birthday)!

    Do it NOW!

    THE DEVIL DOTH WALKETH AMONGST US!

    Everything You Ever Wanted to Know About Wicca But Were Afraid to Ask!

    INTRODUCTION (LEARN MORE BY VISITING THE LINKS BELOW):
    Satan's latest trend preys on the unwanted and ugly. Those who don't play sports and shun the kind smiles of their attractive schoolmates and co-workers. These Acolytes of darkness call themselves, "Wiccans." They are creatures of the night and pale of skin. They adorn their gelatinous, malformed bodies with the silver piercings of sacrilege. They cover their shame with tattoos, inked in Satan's saliva! They are best hunted in the Autumn months. For it is then when Wiccans loose themselves from their mildewed apartments of technical hibernation and run naked through our woodlands and clearings in search of a mate, and demonic fellowship with the Prince of Darkness - Lucifer himself!
    Who Will Jesus Damn?

    Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

    Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

    Need Pastoral Advice? Contact me privately at PastorEzekiel@landoverbaptist.net TODAY!!
    Tags: even stevie nicks hates you, wicca: fat and ugly pigs
  • #2
    Re: NOW AVAILABLE: The Official Landover Baptist Guide to Wicca!

    Amen! I can't wait for this year's hunt!

    Christians are superior because we possess an understanding that unbelievers lack. It is through the Power of Jesus only the converted mind is able to understand what is going on in the world; what the Communists are really up to; what Satan's intentions are. Most unbelievers do not even believe in Satan and cannot understand his tactics.


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    • #3
      Re: NOW AVAILABLE: The Official Landover Baptist Guide to Wicca!

      Originally posted by Levi Jones View Post
      Amen! I can't wait for this year's hunt!


      Um, when is this year's witch hunt again? Have you esteemed gentlemen considered my offer to host the Pre-Hunt Dinner?

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      • #4
        Re: NOW AVAILABLE: The Official Landover Baptist Guide to Wicca!

        Originally posted by Pastor Ezekiel View Post
        INTRODUCTION (LEARN MORE BY VISITING THE LINKS BELOW):
        Satan's latest trend preys on the unwanted and ugly.
        Not necessarily. I've seen attractive wiccans.

        Those who don't play sports and shun the kind smiles of their attractive schoolmates and co-workers. These Acolytes of darkness call themselves, "Wiccans." They are creatures of the night and pale of skin. They adorn their gelatinous, malformed bodies with the silver piercings of sacrilege. They cover their shame with tattoos, inked in Satan's saliva!
        Not all those people are wiccans. Some are goths and/or emos.

        They are best hunted in the Autumn months. For it is then when Wiccans loose themselves from their mildewed apartments of technical hibernation and run naked through our woodlands and clearings in search of a mate, and demonic fellowship with the Prince of Darkness - Lucifer himself!
        Wiccans don't believe in anything 'dark'. You'd more likely find them in search of their giant fluff bunny god. But, whatever, I'm not wiccan, but if you're going to insult them, at least do it with a proper knowledge of the fact. What you're doing is the equivalent of a wiccan saying you guys worship Allah.
        Last edited by Bobby-Joe; 09-25-2009, 03:18 PM. Reason: missing HTML tag
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        Wake up and smell the 21st Century!!

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        • #5
          Re: NOW AVAILABLE: The Official Landover Baptist Guide to Wicca!

          Originally posted by Isabella Abbey View Post
          Um, when is this year's witch hunt again? Have you esteemed gentlemen considered my offer to host the Pre-Hunt Dinner?

          Maybe not host it, but I'm pretty sure you could be the guest of honor.
          Christians are superior because we possess an understanding that unbelievers lack. It is through the Power of Jesus only the converted mind is able to understand what is going on in the world; what the Communists are really up to; what Satan's intentions are. Most unbelievers do not even believe in Satan and cannot understand his tactics.


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          • #6
            Re: NOW AVAILABLE: The Official Landover Baptist Guide to Wicca!

            Originally posted by Rachael Van Helsing View Post
            Not necessarily. I've seen attractive wiccans.
            You are a wicker harlot. Was this before or after you poisoned and skinned them?


            Originally posted by Rachael Van Helsing View Post
            Not all those people are wiccans. Some are goths and/or emos.
            Mearly differnat flavors of the same hellish creatures. Just like Catholics, Methodists and Calvinists are all false Christians the key point is; false Christians.


            Originally posted by Rachael Van Helsing View Post
            Wiccans don't believe in anything 'dark'. You'd more likely find them in search of their giant fluff bunny god. But, whatever, I'm not wiccan, but if you're going to insult them, at least do it with a proper knowledge of the fact. What you're doing is the equivalent of a wiccan saying you guys worship Allah.
            But don't deny dancing naked in the woods.

            Time to reclaim our FREEDOM from the “Mullah in Chief” and his growing activist voter hoards of socialists, communists, anti-Semites, anti-Christians, atheists, radical gays and lesbians, feminists, illegal immigrants, Muslims, anti-Anglo whites and others.

            Hot Must ReadThreads!


            Time to come clean on Benghazi Mr Obama!

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            • #7
              Re: NOW AVAILABLE: The Official Landover Baptist Guide to Wicca!

              Originally posted by Isabella Abbey View Post
              Um, when is this year's witch hunt again? Have you esteemed gentlemen considered my offer to host the Pre-Hunt Dinner?
              As I understand it someone is organizing a gathering in Britain at something called Witchfest.

              We could organize a hunting party. Gotta be careful with those Brits, most of them are a bunch of heathens, it could be a trap.
              Acts 3:24-25 "The God who made the world and everything in it is the Lord of heaven and earth and does not live in temples built by hands. And he is not served by human hands, as if he needed anything, because he himself gives all men life and breath and everything else."

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              • #8
                Re: NOW AVAILABLE: The Official Landover Baptist Guide to Wicca!

                Originally posted by Patriarch Jon View Post
                As I understand it someone is organizing a gathering in Britain at something called Witchfest.

                We could organize a hunting party. Gotta be careful with those Brits, most of them are a bunch of heathens, it could be a trap.
                Didn't that English hellhole ban guns? I guess you could use a crossbow or compound bow, but I don't consider it a wiccan hunt without my 30.06 and M4.
                Cling to your guns and religion. "Change" is here.

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