What is an Atheist?

[Talitha]

Mark16: 15-16
And he said unto them, Go ye into all the world, and preach the gospel to every creature.
He that believeth and is baptized shall be saved; but he that believeth not shall be damned.


What is an Atheist?

Atheists try and hide themselves among normal Christian people so you have to be on the look-out if you want to see one. Here are some pointers:

* They usually suffer from an abnormal delusion brought on by depression or anxiety because they are Sodomites or Child Molesters. so be on the lookout for unhappy people.

* Many Atheists are posessed by Demons and are doing the work of Satan. Check the back of the neck or head for marks of Satan.

* Atheists believe that abortion is right. Hang out near Abortion Clinics if you really want to see one.

* Atheists are usually Communists. Communists are usually Atheists. Speaks for itself, look what Communism did for Russia

* If you are in the Armed Forces, Pray you are not in the Foxhole next to an Atheist. They don't have God on their side, so you may end up taking the Shrapnel when one of them gets blown to pieces by a Shell.

* The Bible teaches love, patience, and seeking the welfare of others even when it might harm the Christian.
Instead, since the great majority of atheists are evolutionists, their morality, like evolution is the product of purely natural and random processes that become self serving.

* Athists are Demoncrats.

What to do if you see one?

* If you are a Child, under no circumstances should you approach it. Run for a Parent or Pastor.

* Resist the temptation to shoot or beat them. Being simple-minded they usually take quite a while to realise they have been found out.

* Advanced Witnessing techniques are required to deal with one. Do not attempt to talk to it if you are alone or are not familiar with these advanced techniques. get a Pastor immediately.



..............................A Typical Atheist.................................................. ......................A typical True Christian™





Now, what can you add to this list?

.

[Bozo James (On Moderation)]

Re: What is an Atheist?

"The Bible teaches love, patience, and seeking the welfare of others"

So why do not Baptists practice the love , patience and welfare of other without judging?

[SalvationSeeker]

Re: What is an Atheist?

So why do not Baptists practice the love , patience and welfare of other without judging?

Because God COMMAND us to judge! Why shouldn't we judge? For we are not afraid to be judged according to our righteousness!

You want us to help you and hold your hand but you don't even want to help yourself by accepting Jesus?
We won't help you to sin if that's what you want, but we will help you gain the greatest gift possible:
Eternal life in Jesus Christ.

[Bobby-Joe]

Re: What is an Atheist?

"The Bible teaches love, patience, and seeking the welfare of others"

So why do not Baptists practice the love , patience and welfare of other without judging?

Are we not? Try you nancy boy routine in a False Christian forum and see how quick they ban you. No friend, we love YOU as Jesus commands. We will help you to learn to hate yourself so you can accept Christ as your personal Savior. PRAISE!

[Talitha]

Re: What is an Atheist?

Considering the welfare of others refers to other Christians. Not to Atheists, Joos, Homers, Katlicks, Goths or other Heathens.
We are not judging but giving fair warning to our Brothers and Sisters in Christ

[Brother Temperance]

Re: What is an Atheist?

Mark16: 15-16
And he said unto them, Go ye into all the world, and preach the gospel to every creature.
He that believeth and is baptized shall be saved; but he that believeth not shall be damned.


What is an Atheist?

Atheists try and hide themselves among normal Christian people so you have to be on the look-out if you want to see one. Here are some pointers:

* They usually suffer from an abnormal delusion brought on by depression or anxiety because they are Sodomites or Child Molesters. so be on the lookout for unhappy people.

* Many Atheists are posessed by Demons and are doing the work of Satan. Check the back of the neck or head for marks of Satan.

* Atheists believe that abortion is right. Hang out near Abortion Clinics if you really want to see one.

* Atheists are usually Communists. Communists are usually Atheists. Speaks for itself, look what Communism did for Russia

* If you are in the Armed Forces, Pray you are not in the Foxhole next to an Atheist. They don't have God on their side, so you may end up taking the Shrapnel when one of them gets blown to pieces by a Shell.

I didn't think there were any atheists in the Armed Forces, and certainly not in any foxholes. There may be a few atheist jihadis, though.

[Bobby-Joe]

Re: What is an Atheist?

I didn't think there were any atheists in the Armed Forces, and certainly not in any foxholes. There may be a few atheist jihadis, though.

I would think most Jihadists were atheists. After all if you don't belive there is anything in the hereafter what is the point of living?

[Pastor Ezekiel]

Re: What is an Atheist?

Five Tips on How to Spot an Atheist

1. Usually Atheists are pale of skin. They spend a lot of times indoors, because they are afraid to come outside. They believe the preposterous lie that Christians are trying to kill them, when in fact, all that we really want to do is force a quick conversion or to kindly place them in a maximum security prison for their own protection from devout Christians who may try to kill them. Many Atheists will try to throw you off by spending time absorbing carcinogens in tanning beds, so it important to remember in hunting Atheists that many, if not most, have very dark skin, too. CAUTION: Do not confuse these artificially dark folks with genuine Negroes. Real Coloreds need to be watched carefully around anything of value, but do not need to be brought to the Lord, as they all unblinkingly accepted Jesus as their loving God during Biblically-sanctioned slavery.

2. Atheists are overweight. The stereotypes of typical Atheists are the trim, granola cruncher who jogs and plays racquetball or the vain hedonist, party-goer who worships only her full-length mirror, Recent studies have shown, however, that Atheists have become aware of these signifiers of their lack of faith. In order to blend in undetected with evangelical Christians, most Atheists now tend to be morbidly obese and will tell you, whether asked or not, that their enormous girth is the result of an undetectable thyroid condition and not the box of Little Debbie cakes they are holding.

3. Atheists have too many university diplomas! These folks are chock full of secular knowledge. They toss the Bible aside in favor of so-called, "research" and "theories." They spend their days studying and trying to gather facts and data to support their ridiculous scientific theories, such as evolution and gravity. Don't let it fool you, Christian Brothers and Sisters! All the secular knowledge in the world can't disprove that the reason we are all here today was because Eve got some bad advice from a talking snake! Atheists are too full of their silly "logic" to understand that only blind faith leads to sighted Truth. Why, the homo-lovers in England have already accepted that most scientists are naturally Atheists. Don't let it happen in America! Report your Biology professor – or any so-called teacher who pollutes the soul with extraneous (non-Biblical) information -- to the local authorities before he recruits your child!

4. Atheists Deceive! Atheists go under many different names, but they don't have the common sense to align themselves yet! Use this to your advantage in reporting them to the police! They call themselves, "humanists, agnostics, secular-humanists, moral relativists, Catholics, free-thinkers, undecided, Unitarians, and more recently, Brights." It is important to note that anyone who has a post-graduate degree or is interested in getting a post-graduate degree, is suspect! Also be warned, Wiccans , Vegans, Yogists, and readers of science fiction are either Atheists or on the road to becoming an Atheist. Our job as True Christians™ is to use this loophole of time under the current Bush Administration to get as many of these God-haters arrested as we can before they do more damage to our country than they already have.

5. Atheists are afraid! Even though there are as many as 300 active Atheists in the United States, we can safely assume that if recent polls are correct, most Atheists are afraid to come out and say what they don't believe. It's your job to pull it out of them. Put them on the spot. Hound them at restaurants and on cruise ships. Don't take "I'd rather not talk about religion" as a answer. Give them one last chance to save their sorry souls. Then, call the police!

[Hairy Homer]

Re: What is an Atheist?

Mark16: 15-16
And he said unto them, Go ye into all the world, and preach the gospel to every creature.
He that believeth and is baptized shall be saved; but he that believeth not shall be damned.


What is an Atheist?

Atheists try and hide themselves among normal Christian people so you have to be on the look-out if you want to see one. Here are some pointers:

* They usually suffer from an abnormal delusion brought on by depression or anxiety because they are Sodomites or Child Molesters. so be on the lookout for unhappy people.

* Many Atheists are posessed by Demons and are doing the work of Satan. Check the back of the neck or head for marks of Satan.

* Atheists believe that abortion is right. Hang out near Abortion Clinics if you really want to see one.

* Atheists are usually Communists. Communists are usually Atheists. Speaks for itself, look what Communism did for Russia

* If you are in the Armed Forces, Pray you are not in the Foxhole next to an Atheist. They don't have God on their side, so you may end up taking the Shrapnel when one of them gets blown to pieces by a Shell.

* The Bible teaches love, patience, and seeking the welfare of others even when it might harm the Christian.
Instead, since the great majority of atheists are evolutionists, their morality, like evolution is the product of purely natural and random processes that become self serving.

* Athists are Demoncrats.

What to do if you see one?

* If you are a Child, under no circumstances should you approach it. Run for a Parent or Pastor.

* Resist the temptation to shoot or beat them. Being simple-minded they usually take quite a while to realise they have been found out.

* Advanced Witnessing techniques are required to deal with one. Do not attempt to talk to it if you are alone or are not familiar with these advanced techniques. get a Pastor immediately.

[ATTACH]1810[/ATTACH] [ATTACH]1811[/ATTACH]

..............................A Typical Atheist.................................................. ......................A typical True Christian™





Now, what can you add to this list?

.

Haven't you missed "long-haired and beared"? (That's the men, of course, the women are all close-cropped lesbos!)

Why am I helping you?

[Rachael Van Helsing]

Re: What is an Atheist?

I'm surprised at you, Hairy. Why are you helping them make fun of you?

And it's been so long, why not ask if that username of yours can be changed? Do you like being called 'hairy homer'?

[Bozo James (On Moderation)]

Re: What is an Atheist?

You folks are so ful of Shiites!

[Hairy Homer]

Re: What is an Atheist?

I'm surprised at you, Hairy. Why are you helping them make fun of you?

And it's been so long, why not ask if that username of yours can be changed? Do you like being called 'hairy homer'?

I started out called "Harry Humanist". This mysteriously changed one day. On inquiry I was told it was done by the the hand of Jesus. (I suspect the hand of one of the mods or admins.)

Whoever, I don't think that he, she or it, is inclined to change it. We all seem to have gotten used to it. I was determined not to be phased by it. I think you understand.

[Enobarbus]

Re: What is an Atheist?

I started out called "Harry Humanist". This mysteriously changed one day. On inquiry I was told it was done by the the hand of Jesus. (I suspect the hand of one of the mods or admins.)

Whoever, I don't think that he, she or it, is inclined to change it. We all seem to have gotten used to it. I was determined not to be phased by it. I think you understand.

Much more of this hobnobbing between you two foul sinners and the hand of Jesus may well fall on one or both of you again.

And let me make it plain to both of you that if Jesus just happens to use the mods or admins on these Godly boards as his agents here on earth, that doesn't mean that he is or was not responsible for the actions he has guided them to do.

Thank you.

[Enobarbus]

Re: What is an Atheist?

You folks are so ful of Shiites!

Yet another especially thoughtful, penetrating, and forceful argument.

You are no brother of ours.

[Rachael Van Helsing]

Re: What is an Atheist?

I started out called "Harry Humanist". This mysteriously changed one day. On inquiry I was told it was done by the the hand of Jesus. (I suspect the hand of one of the mods or admins.)

Yes, no doubt.

Whoever, I don't think that he, she or it, is inclined to change it. We all seem to have gotten used to it. I was determined not to be phased by it. I think you understand.

All too well.
But surely you wouldn't mind being known as 'Harry Humanist' once more?

Much more of this hobnobbing between you two foul sinners and the hand of Jesus may well fall on one or both of you again.

Eno!
Was it you who changed Harry's name to Hairy Homer??