Halloween recommendations?

[Baphomet]

Re: Halloween recommendations?

The Bear traps stop the little suckers from running away. Makes it so much easier to pick them off with the Sniper Rifle.

Don't worry, hellion's a designated marksman...err...marks"woman"... She can shoot an apple from 100 yards away with a cheap paintball gun, easy... It's amazing!

The pits of doom keep them from running too. We're also going to put an inexcapable maze in there too. You know, the kind where they go in and we put a wall up where the entrance used to be, every time some kids come by we take the wall out (when they're not looking) and let them in. We also have a sign that says "Bags of candy if you make it through the maze!" And we even have narcs that tell all the little kids how "easy" it is to get through...hehehe...

[Zephaniah]

Re: Halloween recommendations?

I suggest that TC parents send their children out (minus the costumes) to other towns with a big stack of Bibles to knock on doors and ask people "Hell or Jesus?" instead of the more traditional (and unholy) "Trick or Treat". That way they know they're doing something to help both mankind AND God.

[Talitha]

Re: Halloween recommendations?

We build traps and such, like dig 12 foot deep holes and cover it in leaves so they fall in. Or the ropes that catch their legs and they're stuck hanging form a tree. We also have nets, and trip wires that trigger buckets of rotten milk. The classics. Then Cris dresses up like a scare-crow and when they come to poke at him he'll jump out with a chain saw! It's so funny. But if they make it past our yard, Meg gives them like a bag-full of candy (we have a lot left over cuz not many make it...) If they're kids from school that we don't like, we'll put a candy wrapper over some chocolate laxatives. That's always fun too.

Wouldn't bear traps be a bit of lawsuit problem? I always like to buy defective skunks and set them loose in our yard. You should see the parents run. We have a mastiff too, he's always intimidating. On halloween we put foamy stuff in his mouth and make him look like Cujo.

It's knee-slapping japes like those that make life worth living Jesus kills us

The Bear traps stop the little suckers from running away. Makes it so much easier to pick them off with the Sniper Rifle.

[Baphomet]

Re: Halloween recommendations?

I use sheep's blood, feces and lye in my halloween wading pool. Those little sinners need to experience a small taste of what hell has in store for them.

Well, its more like a vat.

We build traps and such, like dig 12 foot deep holes and cover it in leaves so they fall in. Or the ropes that catch their legs and they're stuck hanging form a tree. We also have nets, and trip wires that trigger buckets of rotten milk. The classics. Then Cris dresses up like a scare-crow and when they come to poke at him he'll jump out with a chain saw! It's so funny. But if they make it past our yard, Meg gives them like a bag-full of candy (we have a lot left over cuz not many make it...) If they're kids from school that we don't like, we'll put a candy wrapper over some chocolate laxatives. That's always fun too.

Leaving bear traps in your front garden is always a good trick. And then, when you go to set the little buggers loose the next morning, you can give them a Bible as a treat as well.

Wouldn't bear traps be a bit of lawsuit problem? I always like to buy defective skunks and set them loose in our yard. You should see the parents run. We have a mastiff too, he's always intimidating. On halloween we put foamy stuff in his mouth and make him look like Cujo.

[Pastor Ezekiel]

Re: Halloween recommendations?

I like to have an inflatable paddling pool set up in the frontyard. That way when the kiddiewinkies drop by , the Treat they receive is FULL IMMERSION BAPTISM AND ETERNAL SALVATION. The kids caught in bear traps or Muslim whelps are ideal candidates.
TIP for newbies: Putting some vegetable dye in the water helps you to identify those kids who have had their 'treat' for the evening, and prevents double ups. A little chlorine is a good idea too. Those little ones can get powerful scared if you do it right, and can 'let go' out of fear and pain. Brats.

I use sheep's blood, feces and lye in my halloween wading pool. Those little sinners need to experience a small taste of what hell has in store for them.

Well, its more like a vat.

[Brother Guy Bayard]

Re: Halloween recommendations?

Leaving bear traps in your front garden is always a good trick. And then, when you go to set the little buggers loose the next morning, you can give them a Bible as a treat as well.

I like to have an inflatable paddling pool set up in the frontyard. That way when the kiddiewinkies drop by , the Treat they receive is FULL IMMERSION BAPTISM AND ETERNAL SALVATION. The kids caught in bear traps or Muslim whelps are ideal candidates.
TIP for newbies: Putting some vegetable dye in the water helps you to identify those kids who have had their 'treat' for the evening, and prevents double ups. A little chlorine is a good idea too. Those little ones can get powerful scared if you do it right, and can 'let go' out of fear and pain. Brats.

[Brother Temperance]

Re: Halloween recommendations?

Leaving bear traps in your front garden is always a good trick. And then, when you go to set the little buggers loose the next morning, you can give them a Bible as a treat as well.

[Talitha]

Re: Halloween recommendations?

I've got the Gatling gun ready and loaded already.
Don't get too many brats banging on the doors these days. Shame really

[SUV]

Re: Halloween recommendations?

My recommendation: ACCEPT JESUS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Then go trick-or-Treating. That way, you'll have someone to Pray to for a BIG bagload of Candy!

[Seeker]

Re: Halloween recommendations?

I know that Halloween is a pagan Holyday,

Very true, Christians decided to steal holiday's from the pagans and call it their own.

Do you guys do anything fun for halloween? Or just stay inside with the lights off? Do you let your children go out for T'0'T?

This is my first year with my wonderful christian son. I can't for the life of me decide what to dress him up as. He is cute as a button and holy.

[lord warrior]

Re: Halloween recommendations?

We produce a annual hell town. To scare the hell out of the little ones, right into Jesus's arms. I always must comfort the little girls, who need a daddy figure to hold them and tell them it's alright, me and Jesus will protect them.

[Nobar King]

I know that Halloween is a pagan Holyday, but still, it's a good night to have a little fun. My neighborhood is popular with the little devils, and we get hundreds of little kids coming by. They come from other cities to T'0'T in a safe neighborhood. I like to participate; last year I had the scariest house on the block. Not much to brag about since no one really goes out of their way to be scary.

I have a lot of fun scaring the children. It's so easy. Some spooky music, some candles, and a black light make my normal victorian house seem haunted. I like to wear a white sheet and act ghostly; with the black light it's really dramatic. Seeing the little kids get scared 5h1tless is just so much fun. Sometimes they cry, but the parents always thank me for putting on a spooky show. The older kids aren't scared, but I play with them anyway.

I'm not like the other neighbors who celebrate with their parent friends at home while the kids go out. They leave the lights on and hand out candy to the children passing by. But nothing scary.

I always have a bowl of coins for UNICEF, but I don't put the coins in the boxes. I hand them to the kids and make them insert the coins themselves. Can you imagine how long it takes to stuff a handfull of pennies into a cardboard coin slot? This year I might buy little boxes of raisins for the older kids just to be a jerk.

The major problem is the groups of kids who come by later on with shaving cream and eggs. Usually there are a good number of police cruisers to keep the revelry down.

I only have one good line, though, and usually just announce myself as, "Mr. Scary" with an eerie voice. I could use some new material. Something to put the fear of god into them.

Do you guys do anything fun for halloween? Or just stay inside with the lights off? Do you let your children go out for T'0'T?