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  • Landover Baptist Chuch

    I am amazed at this forum, and the people the post here. I am blown away by what most of you believe. Especially the comments of Ezekiel, who seems to make a reply on every single post on the board.

    Ezekiel, you are bat-shit-insane. I don't know how your life growing up was, but I imagine you had some very conservative parents, who took you to church twice a week. Fed you full of Christian beliefs as a young kid, and the corked it all in there well with a bunch of fear. Not only do you probably own a bunch of guns, but I bet you drive a truck.

    The world is 6000 years old?! Hell is right below us in the Earth?! I worship monkies?!

    I have traveled the world and absorbed a lot in in my life. How many of you have left your community? How many of you have left the country and went to south America or Europe? Because if you did the rest of the world finds you all insane as well.

    I find it pretty bad that creationist museums have been constructed. That kids will go to this and be blindly mislead, but of course you will all believe my beliefs are insane.

    That is why I am interested by this board, full of people and their beliefs. Because in reality our beliefs are nothing, there just what we have been given and absorbed throughout our life.

    Feel free to give me some obscure quotes from the bible, that only half-relate to what I am saying.

    "eternal suffering awaits anyone who questions god's infinite love" Doesn't make a lot of sense to me.


    Maybe I'll write more later.

  • #2
    Re: Landover Baptist Chuch

    Originally posted by george View Post
    Especially the comments of Ezekiel, who seems to make a reply on every single post on the board.

    Ezekiel, you are bat-shit-insane.
    You seem to mistake "on fire for Jesus" for bat-shit insane. Usually I would give you 1.3 million infraction points for insulting a Pastor but seeing as this is your first post I'm going to cut you some slack.

    Pastor Ezekiel follows the Bible word for word. I dare you to debate him on any single point. Personally I feel you're attracted to his Christ like blue eyes and rock solid abs and you're here trying to score a date. Pastor Ezekiel is not gay and never will be. Might I suggest you visit a bus stop washroom or a public park at night to partake in your disgusting homer habits.

    Please understand, I'm not angry. Here at Landover we hate the sin and not the sinner. But when a filthy queer like yourself waltzes in spewing hatred and judgement on my fellow Christians I have a hard time controlling my temper. Rot in hell you faggot bastard.

    Comment


    • #3
      Re: Landover Baptist Chuch

      Ok Hillbilly.


      "Pastor Ezekiel follows the Bible word for word."

      Fundamentalism. Following everything word for word.

      It's funny when I ask fundamentalist about dinosaurs, they all have a different answer, and their answers 10 years ago were different then they were today.

      Fundamentalism, it leaves no room for irony.

      Comment


      • #4
        Re: Landover Baptist Chuch

        I have to add here that both Pastor Ezekiel and Deaner are two of the most Un-Gay people I know!

        As for Bat Poo, that stuff makes darn fine explosives

        Sister Talitha

        Markswoman, Circumcisionist, Platinum Tither.


        HE took the damsel by the hand, and said unto her, Talitha Cumi; which is,
        being interpreted, Damsel, I say unto thee, arise!...Mark 5:41



        Comment


        • #5
          Re: Landover Baptist Chuch

          If you have a bone to pick with me friend, then speak up by all means.

          I am proud of my parents, both God-fearing, Bible-believing True Christians™. I am proud of the way they raised me, proud of every Godly beating my father dealt out, proud of every hour spent locked in my prayer closet. It hurts me deeply to have you come in here savaging those good people, friend. You aren't fit to lick my father's boots, but I know for a fact that I am.

          If you have a bone to pick with Jesus, well you came to the right place. We are True Christians™ here, saved by the blood of Christ, who died (temporarily) for our sins. We follow every single word of God's Holy Bible as the literal truth, and any of the pastors here, including myself, will be happy to explain how wrong you are about any scripture you care to choose.

          A word of advice, friend: we do not suffer fools gladly here. If you ask questions respectfully, you can stay. If you continue to spew the hatred and anger at Jesus that appeared in your first post above, well, you won't be here long. Before you flame us anymore, you should read THIS.

          Please feel free to share with us your brilliant secular God-mocking wisdom. I can't wait to hear your version of how the universe created itself, or the world is a bazillion gazillion years old, or how queers should have special rights, or how porch monkeys on welfare have it so bad because I'm white, or some other hateful nonsense.

          Trust me, nothing you say will shock us.
          Who Will Jesus Damn?

          Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

          Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

          Need Pastoral Advice? Contact me privately at PastorEzekiel@landoverbaptist.net TODAY!!

          Comment


          • #6
            Re: Landover Baptist Chuch

            Besides Mullet-Man, when did I make any comments leaning towards homosexuality?

            You sure are quick to try to find a response that has nothing to do with what I was talking about.

            Comment


            • #7
              Re: Landover Baptist Chuch

              Question 1:

              Why do you give 10 percent of what you make to the church?

              Why does god need the money?

              Comment


              • #8
                Re: Landover Baptist Chuch

                Originally posted by george View Post
                Question 1:

                Why do you give 10 percent of what you make to the church?

                Why does god need the money?
                Because the Holy Bible tells us to tithe.

                Lev 27:32 And concerning the tithe of the herd, or of the flock, [even] of whatsoever passeth under the rod, the tenth shall be holy unto the LORD.

                Num 18:26 Thus speak unto the Levites, and say unto them, When ye take of the children of Israel the tithes which I have given you from them for your inheritance, then ye shall offer up an heave offering of it for the LORD, [even] a tenth [part] of the tithe.

                Mal 3:8 Will a man rob God? Yet ye have robbed me. But ye say, Wherein have we robbed thee? In tithes and offerings.


                God wants His favorite Church to spread the Good News about Jesus. Jet fuel costs money, as do Bibles and bullhorns.

                Why, I spent several thousand dollars last year on postage alone. Sending an aborted fetus to the pope of rome and every demoncrat in congress every single day of the year isn't cheap!

                Now I get to ask you a question.

                Why do you hate God? Were you anally raped by a papist dog in your youth? How old are you btw?
                Who Will Jesus Damn?

                Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

                Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

                Need Pastoral Advice? Contact me privately at PastorEzekiel@landoverbaptist.net TODAY!!

                Comment


                • #9
                  Re: Landover Baptist Chuch

                  Why do you hate God?

                  I don't hate god, I don't have anything against your beliefs, I just find them insane.


                  Were you anally raped by a papist dog in your youth?

                  You are the one coming up with all of this weird shit. I kept the conversation clean. I have nothing against homosexuals, however I do not partake in their acts. When it comes to all of your thoughts on homos, I think you should STFU and mind your own business. Why do you care?


                  How old are you btw?

                  I'm 21.

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    Re: Landover Baptist Chuch

                    Sinner sez: "Maybe I'll write more later." And maybe you won't, as I've rarely seen a Sinner so in need of a Godly Gonging

                    At the very least, prepare to be Braaaaaaaaaaaack!ed.

                    PS Merry Christmas!

                    And hush your stuff about Good Pastor Ezekiel, too.

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      Re: Landover Baptist Chuch

                      Originally posted by george View Post
                      Why do you hate God?

                      I don't hate god, I don't have anything against your beliefs, I just find them insane.


                      Were you anally raped by a papist dog in your youth?

                      You are the one coming up with all of this weird shit. I kept the conversation clean. I have nothing against homosexuals, however I do not partake in their acts. When it comes to all of your thoughts on homos, I think you should STFU and mind your own business. Why do you care?


                      How old are you btw?

                      I'm 21.
                      So finding True Christianity™ "insane" is quite different than hating us, huh?

                      Why is it that all of you unsaved scumbags are so judgemental?

                      As far as queers go, Jesus hates them, and all normal people hate them too. Haven't you ever read the Bible, hatemonger?

                      Lev.18:22
                      Thou shalt not lie with mankind, as with womankind: it is abomination.

                      Lev.20:13
                      If a man also lie with mankind, as he lieth with a woman, both of them have committed an abomination: they shall surely be put to death; their blood shall be upon them.

                      Rom.1:26-27
                      For this cause God gave them up unto vile affections: for even their women did change the natural use into that which is against nature. And likewise also the men, leaving the natural use of the woman burned in their lust one toward another; men with men working that which is unseemly, and receiving in themselves that recompence of their error which was meet.


                      Not only does God hate sodomites, but He has promised to condemn to hellfire anyone who is even nice to them, as you can see above.

                      I'm glad you aren't a queer, George, but supporting them will get you a scalding bath in satan's sulfur. Praise Jesus!


                      Now its my turn again.

                      Can you explain in detail why you find God's One True Church "insane"? Do you understand the meaning of that word?
                      Who Will Jesus Damn?

                      Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

                      Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

                      Need Pastoral Advice? Contact me privately at PastorEzekiel@landoverbaptist.net TODAY!!

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        Re: Landover Baptist Chuch

                        God's One True Church - So all the other churches and the other majority of the planet is wrong, sinners, and will be condemned to hell for eternity?

                        Also why is True Christian trademarked?

                        Is it because your church is a business organization? Which in a sense it is.

                        You know what I think... If your church wants to have so much to say in the government. You want to take evolution out of the textbooks. Your church should be taxed.

                        Ever been to the ghetto? You know why there is so many churches? Cause it's 100 percent profit.

                        If god hates gays, why can't he forgive them?

                        Also a question I would really like answered, is, "Where is hell?"

                        Comment


                        • #13
                          Re: Landover Baptist Chuch

                          Originally posted by george View Post
                          God's One True Church - So all the other churches and the other majority of the planet is wrong, sinners, and will be condemned to hell for eternity?
                          Short answer: Yes.
                          Everyone who disobey the Word of God in any way is a sinner and is thus going to hell.

                          For whosoever shall keep the whole law, and yet offend in one point, he is guilty of all.
                          James 2:10

                          But he answered and said, It is written,
                          Man shall not live by bread alone, but by every word that proceedeth out of the mouth of God.
                          Matthew 4:4

                          Also why is True Christian trademarked?
                          To keep FALSE so-called Christians from using it, of course.

                          Is it because your church is a business organization? Which in a sense it is.
                          Nonsense.

                          You know what I think... If your church wants to have so much to say in the government. You want to take evolution out of the textbooks. Your church should be taxed.
                          Why should we be taxed? Simply because you hate us?
                          Where is your sense of justice? Do you even have one?
                          WHy aren't you out there persecuting all those FALSE churches instead?

                          Ever been to the ghetto?
                          Yes, unfortunately.

                          You know why there is so many churches? Cause it's 100 percent profit.
                          That's FALSE Christians for you, they only care about lining their own pockets.
                          But we don't care about money here, we care about the Word of God.

                          If god hates gays, why can't he forgive them?
                          What kind of a stupid question is this?
                          It doesn't make sense... at all.

                          Also a question I would really like answered, is, "Where is hell?"
                          Right beneath your feet, friend.
                          Deep inside the earth...

                          Even so-called scientists admit to the lake of fire that is found in the earth!
                          If thou be wise, thou shalt be wise for thyself: But if thou scornest, thou alone shalt bear it.
                          A foolish woman is clamorous: She is simple, and knoweth nothing.
                          Proverbs 9:12-13

                          Comment


                          • #14
                            Re: Landover Baptist Chuch

                            Right beneath your feet, friend.
                            Deep inside the earth...

                            Even so-called scientists admit to the lake of fire that is found in the earth!
                            This is why I find you people insane.

                            With ALLLLLL of the studies done on the earth. The layers, the core, the temperatures, the pressure, physics. You think that hell is inside the earth?

                            , ok

                            Well then, What happens when hell runs out of room? Which should happen pretty soon, because according to your beliefs 95% of the world's population is going to go there.

                            Comment


                            • #15
                              Re: Landover Baptist Chuch

                              Originally posted by george View Post
                              God's One True Church - So all the other churches and the other majority of the planet is wrong, sinners, and will be condemned to hell for eternity?

                              Yes, obviously. They are all false Christians.

                              Also why is True Christian trademarked?

                              Because we trademarked the term. No one else can use it.

                              Is it because your church is a business organization? Which in a sense it is.

                              You know what I think... If your church wants to have so much to say in the government. You want to take evolution out of the textbooks. Your church should be taxed.

                              The United States constitution disagrees with you. If you want to tax and persecute Christians, then move to Russia.

                              Ever been to the ghetto? You know why there is so many churches? Cause it's 100 percent profit.

                              I live in a gated community for True Christians™ only. I have 22 acres, a stable full of Arabian horses, an olympic-sized swimming pool, and a bevy of servants, all supplied by Jesus. I don't know what you mean by "profitable ghetto".

                              If god hates gays, why can't he forgive them?

                              Because they were specifically warned not to commit sodomy but they went ahead and did it anyway. The question is, why do the queers want to spit on Jesus? And why do you like fags so much?

                              Also a question I would really like answered, is, "Where is hell?"
                              Hell is at the center of the earth. You'll find out exactly where any day now, after Jesus kills you and tosses your worthless hide down into the lake of fire. and as a True Christian™, I can't wait to see you burn in hell!
                              Who Will Jesus Damn?

                              Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

                              Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

                              Need Pastoral Advice? Contact me privately at PastorEzekiel@landoverbaptist.net TODAY!!

                              Comment

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