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  • Jo Freddie
    Unsaved trash
    Hateful God mocking pirate
    • Apr 2009
    • 6339

    #31
    Re: Pastor Pistle's Vietnam Miracle: Explain it Atheists!

    Originally posted by Brother Temperance View Post
    Right. So, you're telling us that he has a distorted view of reality.
    Well understandable when you consider all the "experiences" he hqad while over there.
    The man who claims to be a pirate
    The Pirates are Our Lords Chosen people, so I honour them, it is others that gave me the moniker "God mocking pirate"
    and who worships meatballs
    It is not for you or I to question how Our Lord and Creator chooses to represent himself.
    is telling us about how someone else has less-than-flawless contact with reality.
    The use of mind altering substances in that place and time is well documented
    Posted via Pasta

    True Pastafarian™

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    Comment

    • Beyondthesmegma
      Confirmed Enemy of God
      • Apr 2011
      • 83

      #32
      Re: Pastor Pistle's Vietnam Miracle: Explain it Atheists!

      Originally posted by Bobby-Joe View Post
      As is well known the soft spoken, gentle Pastor Pistle was on of Ladnover beloved senior pastors for many, many years until he recently retired. Equally famous is Pastor Pistle's story of how Jesus saved his life in Vietnam when Pastor Pistle was a Godly Marine defending America against the savage commie red hordes.

      It goes like this; Pastor Pistle's unit was clearing out of village of Vietcong one night. During the battle Pastor Pistle was separated from his unit and he had just single handedly destroyed a unit of elite Vietcong sappers disguised as a "filthy yellow Mommasan and her brats" as he put it. Unfortunately he used up the last of his ammo in this engagement and was making his way back to the rest of his unit when an explosion near him lit up the night briefly illuminating an armed Vietcong soldier standing directly in front of him!

      Alone, dazzled by the flash of the explosion and out of ammo Pastor Pistle was in a deadly peril. However instead of blind panic like anyone in that situation should have felt, Pastor Pistle felt a warm loving glow come over him as he felt our loving Savior Jesus' had guide Pastor Pistle's hand to his combat knife, pull it out, plunge the knife straight into the Vietcong's Karl Marx praising throat and twist it!

      Pastor Pistle's vision then cleared and he found himself on top of the Vietcong, covered in the man's blood with Pistle's knife in his throat. The Vietcong soldier had been unable to bring his own assault rifle to bear on Pastor Pistle due to the close quarters! Praising Jesus Pastor Pistle got up and made his way back to safety now knowing Christ had called Pistle to be a pastor.

      Pastor Pistle knife and blood covered Bible are now proudly displayed in the church vestibule next to our marble Chuck Norris statue.

      Now athiests. Care to explain how Pastor Pistle made this on in a million killer knife stab in the dark without the Hand of God helping him?

      I await your reply.
      Many Reasons - Not God
      1) Superior training. All American forces had extensive training, especially in close quarters combat. Vietcong had no training. They were untrained militia soldiers.

      2) CQC. It is hard to use an assault rifle at close range. The Victor Charlie most likely had an AK47. Recoil plus close range equals low probability of survival.

      3) Adrenaline Rush. Nuff said.

      Comment

      • Booger
        Unsaved trash
        • Mar 2011
        • 47

        #33
        Re: Pastor Pistle's Vietnam Miracle: Explain it Atheists!

        Originally posted by Bobby-Joe View Post
        As is well known the soft spoken, gentle Pastor Pistle was on of Ladnover beloved senior pastors for many, many years until he recently retired. Equally famous is Pastor Pistle's story of how Jesus saved his life in Vietnam when Pastor Pistle was a Godly Marine defending America against the savage commie red hordes.

        It goes like this; Pastor Pistle's unit was clearing out of village of Vietcong one night. During the battle Pastor Pistle was separated from his unit and he had just single handedly destroyed a unit of elite Vietcong sappers disguised as a "filthy yellow Mommasan and her brats" as he put it. Unfortunately he used up the last of his ammo in this engagement and was making his way back to the rest of his unit when an explosion near him lit up the night briefly illuminating an armed Vietcong soldier standing directly in front of him!

        Alone, dazzled by the flash of the explosion and out of ammo Pastor Pistle was in a deadly peril. However instead of blind panic like anyone in that situation should have felt, Pastor Pistle felt a warm loving glow come over him as he felt our loving Savior Jesus' had guide Pastor Pistle's hand to his combat knife, pull it out, plunge the knife straight into the Vietcong's Karl Marx praising throat and twist it!

        Pastor Pistle's vision then cleared and he found himself on top of the Vietcong, covered in the man's blood with Pistle's knife in his throat. The Vietcong soldier had been unable to bring his own assault rifle to bear on Pastor Pistle due to the close quarters! Praising Jesus Pastor Pistle got up and made his way back to safety now knowing Christ had called Pistle to be a pastor.

        Pastor Pistle knife and blood covered Bible are now proudly displayed in the church vestibule next to our marble Chuck Norris statue.

        Now athiests. Care to explain how Pastor Pistle made this on in a million killer knife stab in the dark without the Hand of God helping him?

        I await your reply.
        Seriously? You want an atheist to explain why a trained US soldier killed a man with his knife when he was out of ammo?

        Hmm, well I guess I'll give it a whack...HE WAS A TRAINED US SOLDIER...
        I do give you props on the chuck norris statue though...but it does baffle me that you have a statue of a random man in a church vestibule.

        Comment

        • Dante23
          Confirmed Enemy of God
          • Feb 2011
          • 15

          #34
          Re: Pastor Pistle's Vietnam Miracle: Explain it Atheists!

          Once the body is over taken by adrenaline, then the human body is able to do amazing things. Such as the 5 year old child who saved their parent from drowning.

          In this pastors case it was very simple. His eyes had adjusted to the night, and when the explosion had gone off, his eyes where diluted enough to bring in the light in a vast quantity, giving him temporary night vision, allowing him to see the soldier. As you stated yourself he was out of ammo, and he knew it. So he would have grabbed his knife instead. and when you are point blank with someone, it is almost impossible to miss your mark.

          And as for the simplest answer being the right one, this statement is false. The simplest solution has fewer chances of messing up, where as more complex plans have greater outcomes.

          Long story short. Your man got lucky.

          DO IT AGAIN!

          Comment

          • Bobby-Joe
            Landover Security Superviser
            Asset Loss Prevention and Personal Security Expert
            NOT angry and positively NOT Gay
            True Christian™
            • Sep 2006
            • 18405

            #35
            Re: Pastor Pistle's Vietnam Miracle: Explain it Atheists!

            Originally posted by Dante23 View Post
            Long story short. Your man got lucky.

            DO IT AGAIN!
            Hold it there friend; Pistle is a Christian pastor and a man of God. Why would he want to kill anyone?

            Time to reclaim our FREEDOM from the “Mullah in Chief” and his growing activist voter hoards of socialists, communists, anti-Semites, anti-Christians, atheists, radical gays and lesbians, feminists, illegal immigrants, Muslims, anti-Anglo whites and others.

            Hot Must ReadThreads!


            Time to come clean on Benghazi Mr Obama!

            Comment

            • HTannor
              America's Most Fair and Balanced Judge
              True Christian™
              • Jun 2009
              • 2612

              #36
              Re: Pastor Pistle's Vietnam Miracle: Explain it Atheists!

              Originally posted by Bobby-Joe View Post
              Hold it there friend; Pistle is a Christian pastor and a man of God. Why would he want to kill anyone?
              Thank you, Brother Bobby-Joe, you beat me to it. I was about to lower the boom on that Unsaved Trash.

              I will rest easy this evening knowing that all True Christians™ are coming to the defense of our Godly Marines®.
              The Honorable HTannor (Pro NRA, Anti-Homer Marriage), Judge, Freehold Supreme Court

              "Credo elvem etiam vivere"

              Comment

              • Bobby-Joe
                Landover Security Superviser
                Asset Loss Prevention and Personal Security Expert
                NOT angry and positively NOT Gay
                True Christian™
                • Sep 2006
                • 18405

                #37
                Re: Pastor Pistle's Vietnam Miracle: Explain it Atheists!

                Originally posted by HTannor View Post
                Thank you, Brother Bobby-Joe, you beat me to it. I was about to lower the boom on that Unsaved Trash.

                I will rest easy this evening knowing that all True Christians™ are coming to the defense of our Godly Marines®.
                The bloodthirstiness of secularists is appalling. That's what happens when you don't value life.

                Time to reclaim our FREEDOM from the “Mullah in Chief” and his growing activist voter hoards of socialists, communists, anti-Semites, anti-Christians, atheists, radical gays and lesbians, feminists, illegal immigrants, Muslims, anti-Anglo whites and others.

                Hot Must ReadThreads!


                Time to come clean on Benghazi Mr Obama!

                Comment

                • We are_Legion
                  Confirmed Enemy of God
                  BANNED from Landover -- Aeternal Damnation Assured
                  • Jun 2011
                  • 6

                  #38
                  Re: Pastor Pistle's Vietnam Miracle: Explain it Atheists!

                  The fact that Jesus guided a knife to a man's neck is a fallacy in-and-of itself, let us not forget that thou shalt not kill is the sixth commandment, but Jesus was a man who could supposedly invoke the wrath of god against the men killing him, yet he continues to preach his message of peace. I could also claim that god doesnt exist and ask you to prove that, which is impossible. The characters in this story also make it unbelievable, no one is names Pistle (pistle-pistol)

                  Comment

                  • Jo Freddie
                    Unsaved trash
                    Hateful God mocking pirate
                    • Apr 2009
                    • 6339

                    #39
                    Re: Pastor Pistle's Vietnam Miracle: Explain it Atheists!

                    Originally posted by We are_Legion View Post
                    The characters in this story also make it unbelievable, no one is names Pistle (pistle-pistol)
                    Well there were 2834 on the 1800 US census.
                    Click image for larger version

Name:	Pistle.jpg
Views:	1
Size:	228.8 KB
ID:	1913927
                    Posted via Pasta

                    True Pastafarian™

                    May my Sauce be with you!
                    Read the TRUE Gospel The Gospel of the Flying Spaghetti Monster (ISBN 978-0-00-723160-7)
                    Get one and get with The Flying Spaghetti Monster
                    The Loose Canon - HTML version
                    Loose Canon Fan Page
                    North American? Speak English? Thank a Pirate.
                    I have been to The Volcano!

                    Comment

                    • DDM1985
                      Confirmed Enemy of God
                      BANNED from Landover -- Aeternal Damnation Assured
                      • May 2011
                      • 80

                      #40
                      Re: Pastor Pistle's Vietnam Miracle: Explain it Atheists!

                      Originally posted by Bobby-Joe View Post
                      As is well known the soft spoken, gentle Pastor Pistle was on of Ladnover beloved senior pastors for many, many years until he recently retired. Equally famous is Pastor Pistle's story of how Jesus saved his life in Vietnam when Pastor Pistle was a Godly Marine defending America against the savage commie red hordes.

                      It goes like this; Pastor Pistle's unit was clearing out of village of Vietcong one night. During the battle Pastor Pistle was separated from his unit and he had just single handedly destroyed a unit of elite Vietcong sappers disguised as a "filthy yellow Mommasan and her brats" as he put it. Unfortunately he used up the last of his ammo in this engagement and was making his way back to the rest of his unit when an explosion near him lit up the night briefly illuminating an armed Vietcong soldier standing directly in front of him!

                      Alone, dazzled by the flash of the explosion and out of ammo Pastor Pistle was in a deadly peril. However instead of blind panic like anyone in that situation should have felt, Pastor Pistle felt a warm loving glow come over him as he felt our loving Savior Jesus' had guide Pastor Pistle's hand to his combat knife, pull it out, plunge the knife straight into the Vietcong's Karl Marx praising throat and twist it!

                      Pastor Pistle's vision then cleared and he found himself on top of the Vietcong, covered in the man's blood with Pistle's knife in his throat. The Vietcong soldier had been unable to bring his own assault rifle to bear on Pastor Pistle due to the close quarters! Praising Jesus Pastor Pistle got up and made his way back to safety now knowing Christ had called Pistle to be a pastor.

                      Pastor Pistle knife and blood covered Bible are now proudly displayed in the church vestibule next to our marble Chuck Norris statue.

                      Now athiests. Care to explain how Pastor Pistle made this on in a million killer knife stab in the dark without the Hand of God helping him?

                      I await your reply.
                      Good thing, too... otherwise, he might've ended up with bamboo splinters shoved through his fingers in a POW camp, or being blown up by a Vietcong hostage with a satchel-charge strapped to his back. It's too bad the VC weren't destroyed in that war... now, they torment and kill Christians in prison, and build museums to slander our veterans.

                      God bless our troops...

                      Comment

                      • Rev. Hardrada
                        Unsaved trash
                        Under Investigation
                        • Jul 2011
                        • 1

                        #41
                        Re: Pastor Pistle's Vietnam Miracle: Explain it Atheists!

                        I heard of a similar thing from a frend of mine, L/Cpl Carl Cannon, was walking to the port of his vehicle when a single round hit him in the helmet. The round knocked Carl off balance and slammed him against the Humvee as miraculously the bullet penetrated his helmet just above his left eye and continued into his helmet. The bullet, instead of hitting Carl's pious brain was guided around and around the inside of his helmet until it lost momentum and dropped into his chest pocket, the pocket that held his miniature King James. I truly believe God saved Carl that day, and only because of his nightly prayers and devotion. Carl was always to be seen muttering and when I approached him about this he replied that a prayer was always on his lips and therefore God was always on his shoulder and this is what saved his life. From this day on Carl became very poplar with his Platoon, they regarded him as a spiritual leader and as a guiding light in somewhat dark times. Explain that! The incident defies physics on so many levels, not to mention that god clearly saved him. I only wish that I have explained this clearly enough, my English is not so hot.

                        Comment

                        • HTannor
                          America's Most Fair and Balanced Judge
                          True Christian™
                          • Jun 2009
                          • 2612

                          #42
                          Re: Pastor Pistle's Vietnam Miracle: Explain it Atheists!

                          Originally posted by Rev. Hardrada View Post
                          I only wish that I have explained this clearly enough, my American is not so hot.
                          Your grasp of American is just fine.

                          A wonderful story that could only have ended better had the lance corporal leaped to his feet and blew away the camel jockey that shot him.
                          The Honorable HTannor (Pro NRA, Anti-Homer Marriage), Judge, Freehold Supreme Court

                          "Credo elvem etiam vivere"

                          Comment

                          • SayvedByTheLord
                            Sinner Who Has Found the Truth©
                            True Christian™
                            • May 2007
                            • 3151

                            #43
                            Re: Pastor Pistle's Vietnam Miracle: Explain it Atheists!

                            Originally posted by HTannor View Post
                            Your grasp of American is just fine.

                            A wonderful story that could only have ended better had the lance corporal leaped to his feet and blew away the camel jockey that shot him.
                            Praise Jesus Brother Tannor


                            Leviticus 26:27-29

                            27 And if ye will not for all this hearken unto me, but walk contrary unto me;
                            28 Then I will walk contrary unto you also in fury; and I, even I, will chastise you seven times for your sins.
                            29 And ye shall eat the flesh of your sons, and the flesh of your daughters shall ye eat.

                            Comment

                            • Jarpen
                              Unsaved trash, Hateful joo-lover
                              • Jul 2011
                              • 28

                              #44
                              Re: Pastor Pistle's Vietnam Miracle: Explain it Atheists!

                              Originally posted by Cursed View Post
                              Scientifically speaking, Occam's razor states "the simpler explanation is more likely the correct one."

                              It's a lot simpler to say God did it, so even science agrees that this was a miracle.
                              Actually it's just the opposite.

                              Option 1: An invisible spiritual force somehow came into Pastor Pistle's body and saved his life.

                              Option 2: Pistle grabbed his knife and stabbed the man.
                              And the great dragon was cast out, that old serpent, called the Devil, and Satan, which deceiveth the whole world: he was cast out into the earth, and his angels were cast out with him. Revelation 12:9

                              Comment

                              • Bobby-Joe
                                Landover Security Superviser
                                Asset Loss Prevention and Personal Security Expert
                                NOT angry and positively NOT Gay
                                True Christian™
                                • Sep 2006
                                • 18405

                                #45
                                Re: Pastor Pistle's Vietnam Miracle: Explain it Atheists!

                                Originally posted by Jarpen View Post
                                Actually it's just the opposite.

                                Option 1: An invisible spiritual force somehow came into Pastor Pistle's body and saved his life.

                                Option 2: Pistle grabbed his knife and stabbed the man.
                                Keep in mind that Pastor Pistle was temporarily blinded and he was able to incapacitate the Viet Cong soldier before the Viet Cong could bring his AK47 to bear. The first stab from Pistle was to the other man's wind pile - in the dark, blinded and disoriented. It was an almost impossible thing to do. Clearly Jesus helped Pistle kill that man.

                                I though you claimed to be a Christian; why are you so quick to deny the love of Our Savior?

                                Time to reclaim our FREEDOM from the “Mullah in Chief” and his growing activist voter hoards of socialists, communists, anti-Semites, anti-Christians, atheists, radical gays and lesbians, feminists, illegal immigrants, Muslims, anti-Anglo whites and others.

                                Hot Must ReadThreads!


                                Time to come clean on Benghazi Mr Obama!

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