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There has been some confusion with people mixing up of The Bible and Lord of the Rings. Pastor Zeke was really unhappy last Sunday over finding The Silmarien as being quoted in the class material as one of the books of The Bible. Specifically the linage of Adam to Jesus from Luke was replaced with the linage of Brean and Lúthien to Argon the Ranger.
Apparently someone at the printers inserted the passages into the text book as a joke and no one noticed.
Under questioning the FORMER employee of our printing house claimed that he did it because The Silmarien and The Bible were two books a lot people buy, but never read. This is absurd since The Bible is the world of God and The Lord of the Rings is the product of some English professor whining about why he couldn't get a draft deferment in WWI like a real Christian.
To prevent this happening in the future here is a handy guide.
Bearded Savior born in obscurity and descendants from kings
The Bible
Jesus
The Lord of the Rings
Aragon the Ranger
Why the Lord of the Rings is fantasy
Argon dies
Blessed Race that is persecuted by evil
Bible
Jews and Christians are descendants of Shem and Japheth
Lord of the Rings
Númenians are descendants of Lúthien
Why the Lord of the Rings is fantasy
Lúthien is an elf and elfs don't exist
The Cursed Race
The Bible
Descendants of Ham
Lord of the Rings
Orcs
Why the Lord of the Rings is fantasy
Orcs are green.
Evil plants
The Bible
Jesus cursed a fig tree for not having figs
Lord of the Rings
Willow Trees eat people
Why the Lord of the Rings is fantasy
Everyone knows plants can't control their actions
Flying off Into Heaven
The Bible
Jesus ascension
The Lord of the Ring
Frodo on the ship from the Grey Havens
Why the Lord of the Rings is fantasy
You don't use a boat to get to Heaven
Invisible Men
The Bible
Angels and Demons
Lord of the Rings
Hobbits
Why the Lord of the Rings is fantasy
Hobbits have furry feet, Angels and demons don't have furry feet
Promised Land
The Bible
Judah/Palestine
(PLEASE NOTE: not Missouri!)
Lord of the Rings
The Shire
Why the Lord of the Rings is Fantasy
Paradise is not filled with a bunch of short, food obsessed, people with hairy feet.
Sacred City were the compact between the divine and man is made
The Bible
Jersulem and the rock of Abraham
Lord of the Rings
Gondor and the White Tree
Why the Lord of the Rings is fantasy
Trees are evil
Talking Animals
The Bible
Snakes and mules talk
Lord of the Rings
Badgers, thrushes eagles and bears talk
Why the Lord of the Rings is fantasy
No one has ever heard an eagle talk
Wizards Surviving their own deaths
The Bible
Jesus lives after His death, but Jesus isn't a wizard since that is against God's law.
The Lord of the Rings
Gandalf, who gets a color upgrade
Why the Lord of the Rings is fantasy
Gandlaf is a wizard so therefor evil.
Apparently someone at the printers inserted the passages into the text book as a joke and no one noticed.
Under questioning the FORMER employee of our printing house claimed that he did it because The Silmarien and The Bible were two books a lot people buy, but never read. This is absurd since The Bible is the world of God and The Lord of the Rings is the product of some English professor whining about why he couldn't get a draft deferment in WWI like a real Christian.
To prevent this happening in the future here is a handy guide.
Bearded Savior born in obscurity and descendants from kings
The Bible
Jesus
The Lord of the Rings
Aragon the Ranger
Why the Lord of the Rings is fantasy
Argon dies
Blessed Race that is persecuted by evil
Bible
Jews and Christians are descendants of Shem and Japheth
Lord of the Rings
Númenians are descendants of Lúthien
Why the Lord of the Rings is fantasy
Lúthien is an elf and elfs don't exist
The Cursed Race
The Bible
Descendants of Ham
Lord of the Rings
Orcs
Why the Lord of the Rings is fantasy
Orcs are green.
Evil plants
The Bible
Jesus cursed a fig tree for not having figs
Lord of the Rings
Willow Trees eat people
Why the Lord of the Rings is fantasy
Everyone knows plants can't control their actions
Flying off Into Heaven
The Bible
Jesus ascension
The Lord of the Ring
Frodo on the ship from the Grey Havens
Why the Lord of the Rings is fantasy
You don't use a boat to get to Heaven
Invisible Men
The Bible
Angels and Demons
Lord of the Rings
Hobbits
Why the Lord of the Rings is fantasy
Hobbits have furry feet, Angels and demons don't have furry feet
Promised Land
The Bible
Judah/Palestine
(PLEASE NOTE: not Missouri!)
Lord of the Rings
The Shire
Why the Lord of the Rings is Fantasy
Paradise is not filled with a bunch of short, food obsessed, people with hairy feet.
Sacred City were the compact between the divine and man is made
The Bible
Jersulem and the rock of Abraham
Lord of the Rings
Gondor and the White Tree
Why the Lord of the Rings is fantasy
Trees are evil
Talking Animals
The Bible
Snakes and mules talk
Lord of the Rings
Badgers, thrushes eagles and bears talk
Why the Lord of the Rings is fantasy
No one has ever heard an eagle talk
Wizards Surviving their own deaths
The Bible
Jesus lives after His death, but Jesus isn't a wizard since that is against God's law.
The Lord of the Rings
Gandalf, who gets a color upgrade
Why the Lord of the Rings is fantasy
Gandlaf is a wizard so therefor evil.