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  • Mary Etheldreda
    Gushing for Jesus
     
    • Sep 2011
    • 23775
    #226
    Re: Prove that gingers have souls!

    Originally posted by BaptistBethany View Post
    A True Christian woman would never give birth to a ginger. There! Does that answer your question?
    Truer words were never spoken! Why, even if I didn't have the good sense not to do such a thing, Mr. Etheldreda would be sure to correct me so hard I couldn't sit for a month, much less speak without a giant lisp!


    Hello, my name is Mary. I hope to fellowship with you! That is, unless you don't listen to church authority (Deuteronomy 17:12); are a witch (Exodus 22:17); are a homosexual (Leviticus 20:13; Romans 1:24-32); or fortuneteller (Leviticus 20:27) or a snotty kid who hits their dad (Exodus 21:15); or curses their parents (Proverbs 20:20; Leviticus 20:9); an adulterer (Leviticus 20:10); a non-Christian (Exodus 22:19; Deuteronomy 13:7-12; Deuteronomy 17:2-5;Romans 1:24-32); an atheist (2 Chronicles 15:12-13); or false prophet (Zechariah 13:3); from the town of one who worships another, false god (Deuteronomy 13:13-19); were a non-virgin bride (Deuteronomy 22:20-21); or blasphemer (Leviticus 24:10-16), as God calls for your execution and will no doubt send you to Hell, and I have no interest developing a friendship with the Spiritually Walking Dead.

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      • alannababe
        Unsaved trash
        Under Investigation
        • Oct 2016
        • 24
        #227
        Re: Prove that gingers have souls!

        Given the information here, I dyed my hair blonde

          Comment

          • Didymus Much
            Unsaved trash, Arrogant Atheist Dick
            • Jun 2010
            • 14079
            #228
            Re: Prove that gingers have souls!

            Originally posted by alannababe View Post
            Given the information here, I dyed my hair blonde
            Honey, you dye to go darker. Ginger --> blonde would be bleaching.

            /boaflickandsashayoff

              Comment

              • James Hutchins
                True Christian™
                Just a Regular Nice Guy
                 
                • Jun 2009
                • 29453
                #229
                Re: Prove that gingers have souls!

                Originally posted by alannababe View Post
                Given the information here, I dyed my hair blonde
                Originally posted by Didymus Much View Post
                Honey, you dye to go darker. Ginger --> blonde would be bleaching.

                /boaflickandsashayoff
                No matter what you do to the drapes, Jesus sees the original carpet and knows it is just a HGTV slut weekend makeover. When God looks deep into your hollow eyes, He sees the soulless emptiness that all gingers are.
                Really quite sad, making Jesus see these things. Bad enough the joos nailed Him to a cross, but to have to add insult to injury.
                Isaiah 45:7 I form the light, and create darkness: I make peace, and create evil: I the LORD do all these things.
                Amos 3:6 Shall a trumpet be blown in the city, and the people not be afraid? shall there be evil in a city, and the LORD hath not done it?
                Numbers 21:6 And the LORD sent fiery serpents among the people, and they bit the people; and much people of Israel died.
                Matthew 10:34 Think not that I am come to send peace on earth: I came not to send peace, but a sword.
                Matthew 10:35 For I am come to set a man at variance against his father, and the daughter against her mother, and the daughter in law against her mother in law.
                Matthew 10:36 And a man's foes shall be they of his own household.

                  Comment

                  • Joanna Lytton-Vasey
                    True Christian™ Lady Extraordinaire, an Honorary Male Biblicist
                     
                    • Jul 2014
                    • 8404
                    #230
                    Re: Prove that gingers have souls!

                    I suspect that God can tell the difference between a vulgar bleached blonde and a natural, sun-kissed blonde like Sister Mary Etheldreda. (And by "suspect" I mean "am 100% confident".)
                    Vaccinated by the love of Jesus!!!

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