Tweet
God's Message to Gay Teens - IT GETS WORSE!
In response to the homo-genda "It Gets Better" propoGAYnda, the Landover Baptist BOYS ONLY NO-HOMO YOUTH MINISTRY hosted an important conference for parents last week entitled It Gets Worse. I want to personally thank all of the True Christian™ parents and supporters who attended. I also want to thank all of the protesters who tried to oppress us with your picket signs at the front doors of the conference center. It was a glorious thing to witness the Landover Security Team escort you to the ground for your safety, escort you into wire-restraints and safety hoods and then into church vans. Thank you JESUS for the free comedy show! I saw one leftist queer teenager urinate on himself after taking a baton to the ribs. I'm sure that's not the first time he taken a rod deep into his tummy! PRAISE GOD!
I want to re-iterate God's message to teenage homos everywhere. If you think it's hard to be gay now, I'm here to show you that it will get harder. Oh, it's going to get much, much harder... for you and for everyone around you. Just you wait until you are even bigger and more grown up. It gets WORSE! I know you think it is already hard for you now, but after a while it will just start to hurt. That ache won't go away without doing something about it. You can become clogged with sin and develop a penile infection called AIDS, even if you've never engaged in any sexy type of activity. That's just science. Do NOT be fooled into thinking you will get better by simply oppressing your urges. Oppressing your sin will not save you from that ravenous anal hunger. You must do something OTHER than oppressing those urges. Thank GOD there is a program to save boys who have chosen to be attracted to men.
If you are a homo pervert boy, aged 18 - 22 and height/weight proportional (no fatties), we have a solution for you. As a filthy, dirty unsaved trash homo queer boy, you are not welcome on God's Favorite Property™, or anywhere within Freehold, Iowa (nor anywhere in the world really). But you can still come to Jesus by visiting our travelling prayer van as it travels the country every year. Simply send us an instant message using your JesOS app GRIDDR (AKA "Gay-Ridder"), and we will pick you up at a designated time and place for an intensive one-on-one prayer session. We will WORK that faggotry out of you, one prayer at a time. Oh, it will hurt a LOT at first, but becoming an EX-gay takes work (just ask Alex). Remember, it hurts Jesus much more to choose sin over Him, so open yourself up and let Jesus come into you. Then let Him stay there afterwards and develop a close personal relationship with Him with small talk. Then do it again, because you need to be reminded of how much it hurts Jesus for you to be gay. After a few prayer sessions with our ministers, you won't EVER want to do that again! Praise GOD!
We want to hear your stories of salvation from dirty filthy teenage perversion! Simply respond with your IT GETS WORSE story here. Also, be sure to TWEENT your messages on JesOS Net with #ItGetsWorse . PRAISE GOD! Together we can send the message to gay teens everywhere! IT GETS WORSE!
I want to re-iterate God's message to teenage homos everywhere. If you think it's hard to be gay now, I'm here to show you that it will get harder. Oh, it's going to get much, much harder... for you and for everyone around you. Just you wait until you are even bigger and more grown up. It gets WORSE! I know you think it is already hard for you now, but after a while it will just start to hurt. That ache won't go away without doing something about it. You can become clogged with sin and develop a penile infection called AIDS, even if you've never engaged in any sexy type of activity. That's just science. Do NOT be fooled into thinking you will get better by simply oppressing your urges. Oppressing your sin will not save you from that ravenous anal hunger. You must do something OTHER than oppressing those urges. Thank GOD there is a program to save boys who have chosen to be attracted to men.
If you are a homo pervert boy, aged 18 - 22 and height/weight proportional (no fatties), we have a solution for you. As a filthy, dirty unsaved trash homo queer boy, you are not welcome on God's Favorite Property™, or anywhere within Freehold, Iowa (nor anywhere in the world really). But you can still come to Jesus by visiting our travelling prayer van as it travels the country every year. Simply send us an instant message using your JesOS app GRIDDR (AKA "Gay-Ridder"), and we will pick you up at a designated time and place for an intensive one-on-one prayer session. We will WORK that faggotry out of you, one prayer at a time. Oh, it will hurt a LOT at first, but becoming an EX-gay takes work (just ask Alex). Remember, it hurts Jesus much more to choose sin over Him, so open yourself up and let Jesus come into you. Then let Him stay there afterwards and develop a close personal relationship with Him with small talk. Then do it again, because you need to be reminded of how much it hurts Jesus for you to be gay. After a few prayer sessions with our ministers, you won't EVER want to do that again! Praise GOD!
We want to hear your stories of salvation from dirty filthy teenage perversion! Simply respond with your IT GETS WORSE story here. Also, be sure to TWEENT your messages on JesOS Net with #ItGetsWorse . PRAISE GOD! Together we can send the message to gay teens everywhere! IT GETS WORSE!
Comment