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  • #16
    Re: Helpful Gifts for Expecting and New Parents

    It's never too early to get baby his/her first gun, and a lifetime membership to the John Birch Society.

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    • #17
      Re: Helpful Gifts for Expecting and New Parents

      Originally posted by H. Montague Worthington View Post
      It's never too early to get baby his/her first gun, and a lifetime membership to the John Birch Society.
      Great idea Brother! You always come up with the best gifts! Start em early! That is what JESUS says!
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      • #18
        Re: Helpful Gifts for Expecting and New Parents

        Originally posted by BibleThumpinBlonde View Post
        Great idea Brother! You always come up with the best gifts! Start em early! That is what JESUS says!
        Hmm,Al Qaeda training camp I see.

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        • #19
          Re: Helpful Gifts for Expecting and New Parents

          Originally posted by Osambo 08 View Post
          Hmm,Al Qaeda training camp I see.
          Where Obama spends the Christmas holidays...
          Who Will Jesus Damn?

          Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

          Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

          Need Pastoral Advice? Contact me privately at PastorEzekiel@landoverbaptist.net TODAY!!

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          • #20
            Re: Helpful Gifts for Expecting and New Parents

            I never did sell that extra Witch Hammer I had on the For Sale thread, I guess I could give this to a newly wedded couple expecting a child. Who can't use a nice Witch Hammer this time of year!
            Last edited by Capt. Aaron Portway; 11-13-2008, 02:41 AM.
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            Winging our Way Across the World for The Lord!



            God Bless John Boehner and God Bless the Grand Old Party!



            Barack Hussein Obama is not My President!!!

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            • #21
              Re: Helpful Gifts for Expecting and New Parents

              I always give children's books as baby gifts.

              Some favorites:
              Maurice Sendak's "Where the Wild Things Are" or "In the Night Kitchen"
              Byrd Baylor's "I Am in Charge of Celebrations"
              Shel Silverstein's "Where the Sidewalk Ends," "A Light in the Attic," or "Falling Up," or "The Giving Tree"
              Anything by Dr. Suess
              Margaret Wise Brown's "Goodnight Moon"
              Douglas Wood's "Old Turtle"
              Anything by Beatrix Potter
              A.A. Milne's "Winnie the Pooh"
              Anything by Roald Dahl
              Now that Obama has won the election there will be big black cock for every white woman!!!

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              • #22
                Re: Helpful Gifts for Expecting and New Parents

                Leave it to Crotchie to buy innocent children books by a known sodomite. What's next, a pop-up version of The Leatherman's Handbook?
                This church is dedicated to preaching True Christianity™ and the King James Bible exactly as they are, with no alterations to make them more politically correct for modern liberals. If you think that we've misquoted or twisted Scripture or quoted any verse out of context, please explain in detail how we've done so. Otherwise, if what you read on this site offends you, then you're offended by Almighty God and His Word, not by us.

                Questions to ask liberal "Christians" ✞ Things that the Bible doesn't say ✞ Tolerance

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                • #23
                  Re: Helpful Gifts for Expecting and New Parents

                  I think a yard stick would be a nice gift. You can measure stuff and discipline children with it.
                  A baby is a human being, not a stem cell!

                  Psalm 139:19-20
                  Surely thou wilt slay the wicked, O God: depart from me therefore, ye bloody men.
                  For they speak against thee wickedly, and thine enemies take thy name in vain.

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                  • #24
                    Re: Helpful Gifts for Expecting and New Parents

                    We encourage all loving Christian parents to purchase THESE Godly children's books. They make excellent gifts too!

                    • Daddy, Why Did Jesus Kill Grandma?
                    • The Little Jew: Levi the Dancing Cockroach
                    • Donkeys Can Talk, People Can Fly, And a Man Named Jesus Lives Up in the Sky!
                    • Nancy Boy Chrissy, The Bed-Wetting Sissy!
                    • The Talking Snake Theory: Creation Science & History for Christian Children
                    Who Will Jesus Damn?

                    Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

                    Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

                    Need Pastoral Advice? Contact me privately at PastorEzekiel@landoverbaptist.net TODAY!!

                    Comment

                    • #25
                      Re: Helpful Gifts for Expecting and New Parents

                      Amen Pastor,

                      "Nancy Boy Chrissy, The Bed-Wetting Sissy!" Greatly helped my niece with her bed wetting predicament. Praise God!


                      And I still enjoy "The Little Jew: Levi the Dancing Cockroach" even as an adult. Good story to it.
                      Gather around so that I can read to you from my book of TRUTH. Genesis thru Revelations....Pick one!

                      Luke 12:5- But I will forewarn you whom ye shall fear: Fear him, which after he hath killed hath power to cast into hell; yea, I say unto you, Fear him.

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                      • #26
                        Re: Helpful Gifts for Expecting and New Parents

                        My brother, Silence-before-Christ S Cumming, is writing a True Christian™ Children's Book. It is called "The Boy Who Laughed in Church: A sobering lesson for Young Children."
                        God hates Seth Cochrane.

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                        • #27
                          Re: Helpful Gifts for Expecting and New Parents

                          Any gift that'll teach children to be seen and not heard is a welcome gift, indeed!!
                          May you be a blessing to every life you touch.

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                          • #28
                            Re: Helpful Gifts for Expecting and New Parents

                            How about a 20-pound KJV Bible complete with Apocrypa? Ya can never go wrong with THAT!!!!. Oh...and make sure it's written in 1611, so the child can read very holy-y...

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                            • #29
                              Re: Helpful Gifts for Expecting and New Parents

                              Originally posted by Dreamer View Post
                              How about a 20-pound KJV Bible complete with Apocrypa? Ya can never go wrong with THAT!!!!. Oh...and make sure it's written in 1611, so the child can read very holy-y...
                              That is a great suggestion friend, but it is customary for new users to post in the introduction thread. Please go there and tell us about yourself.
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                              Winging our Way Across the World for The Lord!



                              God Bless John Boehner and God Bless the Grand Old Party!



                              Barack Hussein Obama is not My President!!!

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                              • #30
                                Re: Helpful Gifts for Expecting and New Parents

                                Here is a gift any new mother could use. A baby mop. He/she is down there on the floor anyway scootching and rolling around, might as well make him helpful and clean the floor while he's at it.

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