[H. Montague Worthington]

Re: Helpful Gifts for Expecting and New Parents

It's never too early to get baby his/her first gun, and a lifetime membership to the John Birch Society.

[Daisy Mae Johnson]

Re: Helpful Gifts for Expecting and New Parents

It's never too early to get baby his/her first gun, and a lifetime membership to the John Birch Society.

Great idea Brother! You always come up with the best gifts! Start em early! That is what JESUS says!

[Osambo 08]

Re: Helpful Gifts for Expecting and New Parents

Great idea Brother! You always come up with the best gifts! Start em early! That is what JESUS says!

Hmm,Al Qaeda training camp I see.

[Pastor Ezekiel]

Re: Helpful Gifts for Expecting and New Parents

Hmm,Al Qaeda training camp I see.

Where Obama spends the Christmas holidays...

[Capt. Aaron Portway]

Re: Helpful Gifts for Expecting and New Parents

I never did sell that extra Witch Hammer I had on the For Sale thread, I guess I could give this to a newly wedded couple expecting a child. Who can't use a nice Witch Hammer this time of year!

[Old Iron Crotch]

Re: Helpful Gifts for Expecting and New Parents

I always give children's books as baby gifts.

Some favorites:
Maurice Sendak's "Where the Wild Things Are" or "In the Night Kitchen"
Byrd Baylor's "I Am in Charge of Celebrations"
Shel Silverstein's "Where the Sidewalk Ends," "A Light in the Attic," or "Falling Up," or "The Giving Tree"
Anything by Dr. Suess
Margaret Wise Brown's "Goodnight Moon"
Douglas Wood's "Old Turtle"
Anything by Beatrix Potter
A.A. Milne's "Winnie the Pooh"
Anything by Roald Dahl

[Pastor Isaac Peters]

Re: Helpful Gifts for Expecting and New Parents

Leave it to Crotchie to buy innocent children books by a known sodomite. What's next, a pop-up version of The Leatherman's Handbook?

[Eugene Hackwith]

Re: Helpful Gifts for Expecting and New Parents

I think a yard stick would be a nice gift. You can measure stuff and discipline children with it.

[Pastor Ezekiel]

Re: Helpful Gifts for Expecting and New Parents

We encourage all loving Christian parents to purchase THESE Godly children's books. They make excellent gifts too!

• Daddy, Why Did Jesus Kill Grandma?
  
• The Little Jew: Levi the Dancing Cockroach
  
• Donkeys Can Talk, People Can Fly, And a Man Named Jesus Lives Up in the Sky!
  
• Nancy Boy Chrissy, The Bed-Wetting Sissy!
  
• The Talking Snake Theory: Creation Science & History for Christian Children
  

[Ebenezer Wright]

Re: Helpful Gifts for Expecting and New Parents

Amen Pastor,

"Nancy Boy Chrissy, The Bed-Wetting Sissy!" Greatly helped my niece with her bed wetting predicament. Praise God!


And I still enjoy "The Little Jew: Levi the Dancing Cockroach" even as an adult. Good story to it.

[Jean Poole]

Re: Helpful Gifts for Expecting and New Parents

My brother, Silence-before-Christ S Cumming, is writing a True Christian™ Children's Book. It is called "The Boy Who Laughed in Church: A sobering lesson for Young Children."

[Nobar King]

Re: Helpful Gifts for Expecting and New Parents

Any gift that'll teach children to be seen and not heard is a welcome gift, indeed!!

[Dreamer]

Re: Helpful Gifts for Expecting and New Parents

How about a 20-pound KJV Bible complete with Apocrypa? Ya can never go wrong with THAT!!!!. Oh...and make sure it's written in 1611, so the child can read very holy-y...

[Capt. Aaron Portway]

Re: Helpful Gifts for Expecting and New Parents

How about a 20-pound KJV Bible complete with Apocrypa? Ya can never go wrong with THAT!!!!. Oh...and make sure it's written in 1611, so the child can read very holy-y...

That is a great suggestion friend, but it is customary for new users to post in the introduction thread. Please go there and tell us about yourself.

[Daisy Mae Johnson]

Re: Helpful Gifts for Expecting and New Parents

Here is a gift any new mother could use. A baby mop. He/she is down there on the floor anyway scootching and rolling around, might as well make him helpful and clean the floor while he's at it.