Baby Shaking

[Old Man Hatchet]

I don't understand why the liberal media and so-called medical experts have such a problem with baby shaking. If an infant becomes host to a demon, vigorously shaking him or her is an excellent way to cast out the evil spirit. Yes, doing so may cause brain damage or death, but that's a gamble I've always been willing to take with my children and grandchildren.

Here are a few tell-tale signs that your baby is possessed by a demon:

1. Drooling
2. Incoherent speech
3. Crying fits
3. Rashes



If your baby exhibits any of the above symptoms, shake first and consult a pediatrician later. Also, try to have fun with it. Pretend you're making a margarita to take your mind off the gravity of the situation.

[Pastor Ezekiel]

Re: Baby Shaking

Amen! The Bible is quite clear on the matter! Beat your children hard and often. Don't worry about hurting them. You may break a few bones and cause some brain damage, but it isn't going to kill them. And even if they do die, they'll be better off. They'll thank you in heaven for beating the hell out of them! Shout Glory!!

Proverbs 23:13 Withhold not correction from the child: for if thou beatest him with the rod, he shall not die. 23:14 Thou shalt beat him with the rod, and shalt deliver his soul from hell.

[Bobby-Joe]

Re: Baby Shaking

Frankly it is this touchy feely nonsense with our children that is destroying our country and damning so many people to hell. How will children understand what kind of heavenly father God is if you do not beat them? The best Christian parent is the one who locks his kid in a dark closet and only lets them out for random surprise beatings. Once that child learns to love their parents for that treatment that child will learn to love God the way He wants to be loved.

[Rocking for JC]

Re: Baby Shaking

Amen! The Bible is quite clear on the matter! Beat your children hard and often. Don't worry about hurting them. You may break a few bones and cause some brain damage, but it isn't going to kill them. And even if they do die, they'll be better off. They'll thank you in heaven for beating the hell out of them! Shout Glory!!

My dad used to beat me before he left me and my mom. He made me wear black leather shorts and he used this nine headed whip while I was shackled with my face to the basement wall. I couldn't see his face, but he sounded pretty angry. But I learned respect, and I turned out okay.


ROCK ON JESUS!

[Bobby-Joe]

Re: Baby Shaking

My dad used to beat me before he left me and my mom. He made me wear black leather shorts and he used this nine headed whip while I was shackled with my face to the basement wall. I couldn't see his face, but he sounded pretty angry. But I learned respect, and I turned out okay.


ROCK ON JESUS!

That was a Godly testimony friend. That sounded like your father loved your family very much.

[Old Man Hatchet]

Re: Baby Shaking

Frankly it is this touchy feely nonsense with our children that is destroying our country and damning so many people to hell. How will children understand what kind of heavenly father God is if you do not beat them? The best Christian parent is the one who locks his kid in a dark closet and only lets them out for random surprise beatings. Once that child learns that their parents for that treatment they will learn to love God the way He wants to be loved.

Powerful and poetic words, Brother. As a matter of fact, I'd like to turn your post into a poem and have it engraved on a plaque to hang on my den wall. With your permission, of course.


Dark Closets and Surprise Beatings
by Bobby-Joe

Frankly
it is this touchy feely nonsense with our children
that is destroying our country
and damning so many people
to hell.

How will children understand what kind of heavenly father
God is
if you do not beat them?

The best Christian parent is the one
who locks his kid in a
dark closet
and only lets them out for

random
surprise beatings.

Once that child learns to love their parents for that treatment
they will learn to love God
the way He wants to be loved.

[Daisy Mae Johnson]

Re: Baby Shaking

Also, try to have fun with it. Pretend you're making a margarita.

Ah shake shake shake your baby, shake your baby (sung to the tune of shake your booty)




But seriously, another sign of babies being possessed by demons is when they suck on their fists or fingers.

p/s: If a baby boy sucks on his whole fist he is probably going to grow up to be gay.

[Bobby-Joe]

Re: Baby Shaking

Powerful and poetic words, Brother. As a matter of fact, I'd like to turn your post into a poem and have it engraved on a plaque to hang on my den wall. With your permission, of course.


Dark Closets and Surprise Beatings
by Bobby-Joe

Frankly
it is this touchy feely nonsense with our children
that is destroying our country
and damning so many people
to hell.

How will children understand what kind of heavenly father
God is
if you do not beat them?

The best Christian parent is the one
who locks his kid in a
dark closet
and only lets them out for

random
surprise beatings.

Once that child learns to love their parents for that treatment
they will learn to love God
the way He wants to be loved.

Well I am flattered my feeble words have move you so Brother Hatchet. Of course you can.

[JennyD]

Re: Baby Shaking

Powerful and poetic words, Brother. As a matter of fact, I'd like to turn your post into a poem and have it engraved on a plaque to hang on my den wall. With your permission, of course.

Brother Hatchet, your formatting of Brother B-J's words make them appear less as the ravings of a Lunatic for the Lord, but rather the gentle teaching of a loving and sensitive man who has been deeply Touched by Jesus' Love.

Thank you.

I would love a copy of that plaque to put on the wall here at The Monthly Visitor; the ladies could use some inspiration like this. Some of them are a bit light-handed on their children, and this may be just the nudge they need to lay down God's Law in their households!

In fact, I bet we could sell quite a few of them.

[Brian Dyk]

Re: Baby Shaking

I have 15 month old twins. I take them down to the hardware store at least once a week and have them attached to those paint mixing machines. This sort of shaking ensure that they have no demons. However, I have noticed that their walking is less steady than before. But that is a price I will pay to prevent satan from getting into them.

[Nobar King]

Re: Baby Shaking

A few minutes on the gyro-ride really makes them happy. There's often line several people deep.

[giftshoppe]

Re: Baby Shaking

You don't have to do that.. Having a child is a treasure. You must take care of them very well.

[Jimmy C Lombardo]

Re: Baby Shaking

Are you a retarded or sumthin o banned one?

100 bucks is a treasure. A child is just a lil' runt waitin to be molded and shipped off to be a Soldier of Christ!