[Old Iron Crotch]

Re: Review a Book for Jesus!!

I seldom read anything except the TV Guide and the info stripe at the bottom of my FoxNews broadcast. But I did want to remind everyone to keep a few books on the shelf for when your power goes out . . . once lit, books give off light and heat and a large pile of books can provide hours of entertainment for the whole congregation.

I KNEW there had to be a good use for all those Tim LaHaye and Josh McDowell books! I'm going to go out and buy some now to keep in the kindling box next to my fireplace. Thank you for the wonderful suggestion.

[Old Iron Crotch]

Re: Review a Book for Jesus!!

Yesterday, a power outage left me temporarily cut off from God's favourite forums. Since I'm naturally of a nervous and imaginative disposition (a condition that wasn't helped by the fact that I hadn't slept for the last 48 hours, and had spent the last two nights reading the stories of HP Lovecraft and obsessively rereading the Book of Revelation over and over again), I found that my head rapidly became filled with all sorts of nightmarish scenarios. What if the Rapture had started and I'd been Left Behind? What if the Four Horsemen were about to ride out and devastate humanity with famine, pestilence, war and death?

What if Barack Hussein Obama wins in 2008? I found the thought of America groaning under the tyranny of its first Jihadist President particularly alarming, and began to wonder about what exactly that crazed buck would get up to if he ever seized power. With this in mind (and still cut off from God's Favourite Forums), I decided to begin reading Black Skin, White Masks by Frantz Fanon, a book dedicated to solving the age-old question of whether negroes can be said to "think", and, if so, what they "think" about.

Fanon appears to be woefully unfamiliar with the Holy Bible, and the poor simpleminded pickaninny had obviously been manipulated by sinister Jews such as Freud and Sartre (or, as he refers to them, Massah Freud and Massah Sartre), but some of his conclusions are fascinating. He attempts to explain why it is that "mulattos and negroes have only one thought from the moment they land in Europe: to gratify their appetite for white women" (a direct quote from the book), and reaches a startling conclusion: the negro (or mulatto, reading the book I was saddened to discover that most mulattoes seem to be driven by the same primitive urges as their full-blooded spear-chucking cousins.

We should all give thanks to Christ for making sure that our own Brer Remy never displays the sort of wild behaviour as these savage jungle bunnies) is actually conscious of his own inferiority, and it is this that drives them to rape white women and steal their pies - amazingly enough, the thick-witted jigaboos appear to honestly believe that if they fornicate with enough white women and eat enough white people's pies, they'll eventually turn white themselves!

As I mentioned above, Fanon's mind was obviously confused by the anti-God doctrines of Sigmund Fraud, and this leads him to conduct a further investigation into why these Godless nigs are so inferior in the first place. His discoveries in this area are particularly interesting: according to Fanon, buck negroes are unable to resolve their oedipus complexes, owing to the fact that, during childhood, every single negro in the world has seen their father come home drunk on malt liquor, take all his clothes off, and then fall asleep, and it is this moment of witnessing their father drunk, naked and unconscious that leads them to develop the urge to become white. Fascinating stuff, and I'm not even halfway through yet.

BT,
Get some sleep. You're delusional from exhaustion.

[Glendora Christianson]

Re: Review a Book for Jesus!!

Yesterday, a power outage left me temporarily cut off from God's favourite forums.

I seldom read anything except the TV Guide and the info stripe at the bottom of my FoxNews broadcast. But I did want to remind everyone to keep a few books on the shelf for when your power goes out . . . once lit, books give off light and heat and a large pile of books can provide hours of entertainment for the whole congregation.

[Brother Temperance]

Yesterday, a power outage left me temporarily cut off from God's favourite forums. Since I'm naturally of a nervous and imaginative disposition (a condition that wasn't helped by the fact that I hadn't slept for the last 48 hours, and had spent the last two nights reading the stories of HP Lovecraft and obsessively rereading the Book of Revelation over and over again), I found that my head rapidly became filled with all sorts of nightmarish scenarios. What if the Rapture had started and I'd been Left Behind? What if the Four Horsemen were about to ride out and devastate humanity with famine, pestilence, war and death?

What if Barack Hussein Obama wins in 2008? I found the thought of America groaning under the tyranny of its first Jihadist President particularly alarming, and began to wonder about what exactly that crazed buck would get up to if he ever seized power. With this in mind (and still cut off from God's Favourite Forums), I decided to begin reading Black Skin, White Masks by Frantz Fanon, a book dedicated to solving the age-old question of whether negroes can be said to "think", and, if so, what they "think" about.

Fanon appears to be woefully unfamiliar with the Holy Bible, and the poor simpleminded pickaninny had obviously been manipulated by sinister Jews such as Freud and Sartre (or, as he refers to them, Massah Freud and Massah Sartre), but some of his conclusions are fascinating. He attempts to explain why it is that "mulattos and negroes have only one thought from the moment they land in Europe: to gratify their appetite for white women" (a direct quote from the book), and reaches a startling conclusion: the negro (or mulatto, reading the book I was saddened to discover that most mulattoes seem to be driven by the same primitive urges as their full-blooded spear-chucking cousins.

We should all give thanks to Christ for making sure that our own Brer Remy never displays the sort of wild behaviour as these savage jungle bunnies) is actually conscious of his own inferiority, and it is this that drives them to rape white women and steal their pies - amazingly enough, the thick-witted jigaboos appear to honestly believe that if they fornicate with enough white women and eat enough white people's pies, they'll eventually turn white themselves!

As I mentioned above, Fanon's mind was obviously confused by the anti-God doctrines of Sigmund Fraud, and this leads him to conduct a further investigation into why these Godless nigs are so inferior in the first place. His discoveries in this area are particularly interesting: according to Fanon, buck negroes are unable to resolve their oedipus complexes, owing to the fact that, during childhood, every single negro in the world has seen their father come home drunk on malt liquor, take all his clothes off, and then fall asleep, and it is this moment of witnessing their father drunk, naked and unconscious that leads them to develop the urge to become white. Fascinating stuff, and I'm not even halfway through yet.

[BadAssButterfly (On Moderation)]

Re: Review a Book for Jesus!!

I had read part of that book... as much as I could stomach... and it do not surprise me that this godless ho had enjoyed readin' that smut. It be the inspiration for that godless Da Winky Code book. In it, Jesus marries that trollop Mary Magdalene and haves chillrens with her. He also disrespectful to God (his own DADDY!!) AND he be buddy-buddy with Satan - sound like what the Mormons believes! But that do not be the worst... the worst is... it depict... well, if any True Christian™ with a weak heart should be readin' this, it might be best if they stop right now. I'm warnin' y'all....It depict Jesus and Judas as HOMERS! Oooooo LORD! I done got traumatized just thinkin' about it. I's gonna have to go spend some time in the prayer closet now.

Perhaps you should have finished the book and then you would have actually understood it.
The possibilty of marriage and children was one of the things with which he was tempted. At the end of the book, he chooses to forego the chance to live out a norml mortal life and chooses the cross.

As for the book depicting him as buddy-buddy withSatan and lovers with Judas - YOU LIE!

[BadAssButterfly (On Moderation)]

Re: Review a Book for Jesus!!

Although, as you say, all the shrubbery within a ten mile radius has no doubt been humped to death already by she and her insatiably perverted companions.

Soory to once again crush your fantsasies, but I don't hump trees. I stick strictly to my own species.

[Enobarbus]

Re: Review a Book for Jesus!!

You keep that up Jesus will give you a fig tree just to curse it! God can do that you know.

Not that any one would know if it was cursed with all the disgusting tree bothering you pagans do.

Or alternatively, Brother, he will curse all her other trees, especially those in the woods where she lumbers about skyclad cavorting with the goat-gods minions. Although, as you say, all the shrubbery within a ten mile radius has no doubt been humped to death already by she and her insatiably perverted companions.

[Bobby-Joe]

Re: Review a Book for Jesus!!

That's going to be a neat trick, since I don't have a fig tree.

You keep that up Jesus will give you a fig tree just to curse it! God can do that you know.

Not that any one would know if it was cursed with all the disgusting tree bothering you pagans do.

[BadAssButterfly (On Moderation)]

Re: Review a Book for Jesus!!

This is yet another sign that Jesus hates you for your whoredoms. He has seen fit to cast demons into your VCR. Repent now, or next He'll curse your fig tree!

That's going to be a neat trick, since I don't have a fig tree.

[OnYourKnees]

Re: Review a Book for Jesus!!

I had read part of that book... as much as I could stomach... and it do not surprise me that this godless ho had enjoyed readin' that smut.

It depict Jesus and Judas as HOMERS! Oooooo LORD! I done got traumatized just thinkin' about it. I's gonna have to go spend some time in the prayer closet now.

Lateefah, thank you for warning us all what unGodly filth this butterfly-headed ho was trying to convince us to read!

Why, now that I've got that vile image in my mind, I too must rush to my prayer closet and put both my hands together, til it's purged from my mind's eye!

Jesus and Judas . . .

As for you, miss badassbuttflies, I've got my eye on you!

[Pastor Ezekiel]

Re: Review a Book for Jesus!!

Unfortuantely, my VCR has started eating video-cassettes, so I can't play any movies...

This is yet another sign that Jesus hates you for your whoredoms. He has seen fit to cast demons into your VCR. Repent now, or next He'll curse your fig tree!

Mark 11:12-17
And on the morrow, when they were come from Bethany, he was hungry: And seeing a fig tree afar off having leaves, he came, if haply he might find any thing thereon: and when he came to it, he found nothing but leaves; for the time of figs was not yet. And Jesus answered and said unto it, No man eat fruit of thee hereafter for ever. And his disciples heard it. And they come to Jerusalem: and Jesus went into the temple, and began to cast out them that sold and bought in the temple, and overthrew the tables of the moneychangers, and the seats of them that sold doves; And would not suffer that any man should carry any vessel through the temple. And he taught, saying unto them, Is it not written, My house shall be called of all nations the house of prayer? but ye have made it a den of thieves.

[Sista Lateefah]

Re: Review a Book for Jesus!!

That's not much of a review.

Did you actually read it? Surely you have more to say than that.

I had read part of that book... as much as I could stomach... and it do not surprise me that this godless ho had enjoyed readin' that smut. It be the inspiration for that godless Da Winky Code book. In it, Jesus marries that trollop Mary Magdalene and haves chillrens with her. He also disrespectful to God (his own DADDY!!) AND he be buddy-buddy with Satan - sound like what the Mormons believes! But that do not be the worst... the worst is... it depict... well, if any True Christian™ with a weak heart should be readin' this, it might be best if they stop right now. I'm warnin' y'all....














It depict Jesus and Judas as HOMERS! Oooooo LORD! I done got traumatized just thinkin' about it. I's gonna have to go spend some time in the prayer closet now.

[BadAssButterfly (On Moderation)]

Re: Review a Book for Jesus!!

That's not much of a review.

Did you actually read it? Surely you have more to say than that.

I've read it several times, but I haven't re-read it recently. It's on my bookshelf; maybe I'll re-read it when I finish the book I'm reading now.
I've also seen Martin Scorsese's film version several times, and a copy of it is in my movie collection. Unfortuantely, my VCR has started eating video-cassettes, so I can't play any movies unless I have them on DVD, so I can't watch the movie again at the moment.
In addition to the fact that I haven't re-read it in a while, the book is a bit surreal, which makes it difficult to review, other than to say what I said before - that it's a beautiful portrayal of the human side of Jesus.

[OnYourKnees]

Re: Review a Book for Jesus!!

Fine.
Nikos Kazantzakis' The Last Temptation of Christ. A truly beautiful portrayal of the human side of Jesus. In fact, Kazantzakis said that the writing of it strengthened his own faith in Jesus.

That's not much of a review.

Did you actually read it? Surely you have more to say than that.

[BadAssButterfly (On Moderation)]

Re: Review a Book for Jesus!!

So Richard Dawkins is a pagan, then? I'm pretty sure he recycles, being the hellbound fool that he is. What about the demon Al-G'ore?

Ask them. I'm not the one who pretends to know what goes on in other people's souls.

As for me, respect for the living earth is central to my spiritual path. And yes, for me, recycling IS a religious observance.