Save your teens from marihuana!

[michele]

Re: Save your teens from marihuana!

I have recently become aware of a growing menace in our society. It has gotten to the point where I can no longer walk down the streets without passing by some lethargic teenager with puffy, red eyes or a group of Negros hunched behind a dumpster. I try to spread the word of Jesus to them, and pray for them, but oftentimes all I get back is a big "piffle YOU". Friends, we need to fight back against this deadly weed of the devil, lest we all be consumed by hellfire!

Marihuana, also called reefer, dope or hemp, is a weed commonly grown in dirty, Godless unsaved foreign countries such as Mexico. It was popularized by messicant heathens, who brought it into our clean, Godly lands. It is often used by such scum as hippies, messicants, negroes, and teenagers rebelling against Jesus. What we need to do is show them that they will never get into Heaven if they don't accept Jesus and the 1611 KJV Bible, and stop using dope.

That being said, if you believe your teenager is using marihuana, all hope is not lost. First, you must confirm that your child is indeed using marihuana. Here are some warning signs:

• Has red eyes
• Has gained weight, is eating too much
• Spends time alone with friends
• Listens to Satanic music such as Bob Marley or The Beatles
• Seems overly tired
• is neglecting their personal hygeine and wears clothes such as hemp sweaters
• uses deodorant to cover up the smell of marihuana

If any of these signs apply, it is likely that your child is using marihuana. If this is the case, action needs to be taken to ensure that they will not be damned to Hell. Firstly, confiscate all of their marihuana. Next, show them the love of Jesus and insist that they study the 1611 KJV Bible. Nothing can help them through tough periods like this better than faith in Jesus. If your child continues to smoke marihuana, you will need to beat them, as it is possible that they are possessed by a demon that is causing their narcotic addiction.

If all fails, well...

If a man have a stubborn and rebellious son, which will not obey the voice of his father, or the voice of his mother, and that, when they have chastened him, will not hearken unto them:

Then shall his father and his mother lay hold on him, and bring him out unto the elders of his city, and unto the gate of his place;
And they shall say unto the elders of his city, This our son is stubborn and rebellious, he will not obey our voice; he is a glutton, and a drunkard. And all the men of his city shall stone him with stones, that he die: so shalt thou put evil away from among you; and all Israel shall hear, and fear. (Deuteronomy 21:18-21)

Thank you and praise the LORD!

historiocally there have been maybe 2 deaths directly related to cannabis.

there are 1.8 million deaths a YEAR that are directly related to drink.
why not focus on something a little more important? like stopping people drinking so much
have you not walked down the street and seen drunkards slouching about? sleeping in gutters? getting in fights? i see that a lot more than i see pot heads getting in fights or sleeping in gutters (in fact i never see this)

(its spelt marijuana. not marihuana.)

[Professor Bessemer]

Re: Save your teens from marihuana!

Perhaps we should gather as much marihuana as possible, and hold a public burning to dispose of it. Without the marihuana around, our children will be less likely to be lured in by Satan.

We will be dealing with the disposal of the marihuana we collect behind closed doors and away from the prying eyes of the unsaved public.

While your idea seems like a wonderful way to both fellowship with like minded True Christians™ and a way to destroy a menace to society, we have tried this once before. The unpredictabilities of wind direction caused a bit of an issue. Let us just say that billowing clouds of marihuana smoke and a major US interstate highway are two things that should be kept as far apart as possible.

I believe we are still paying the medical bills of at least one paralyzed police officer.

[Jacob the Angry Liar]

Re: Save your teens from marihuana!

Perhaps we should gather as much marihuana as possible, and hold a public burning to dispose of it. Without the marihuana around, our children will be less likely to be lured in by Satan.

[Professor Bessemer]

Re: Save your teens from marihuana!

Praise you Jacob! Those are wise words for one of your tender age.

Let me just add that if any True Christian™ parents discovers a cache of this evil weed, they should send it Landover Baptist University. The package should be marked ATTENTION PROFESSOR BESSEMER. No mention should be made of the contents on the outside of the package, and the contents should be quadruple bagged and sealed, so none of the telltale odor of this abominable plant is perceptible.

This is because our once Godly postal service has been infiltrated by hopheads. These addicts can smell marihuana like bloodhounds! If they catch even a wiff of the "dope", they will steal it and use it in their rape orgies.

Here at Landover U, we will dispose of the marihuana in safe manner, you can be confident of that. We do this as a service to the unsaved junkies whose lives might be further ruined by this satanic herb.

[Nobar King]

Re: Save your teens from marihuana!

I have recently become aware of a growing menace in our society.

This problem has been around for generations. It's nothing new. We have a lot of threads about that:

That being said, if you find that your kid is using the dope, a responsible parent should turn him in to the police and let them straighten the kid out. If you don't he'll just assume that you approve of his illicit drug use.

[Jacob the Angry Liar]

I have recently become aware of a growing menace in our society. It has gotten to the point where I can no longer walk down the streets without passing by some lethargic teenager with puffy, red eyes or a group of Negros hunched behind a dumpster. I try to spread the word of Jesus to them, and pray for them, but oftentimes all I get back is a big "FUCK YOU". Friends, we need to fight back against this deadly weed of the devil, lest we all be consumed by hellfire!

Marihuana, also called reefer, dope or hemp, is a weed commonly grown in dirty, Godless unsaved foreign countries such as Mexico. It was popularized by messicant heathens, who brought it into our clean, Godly lands. It is often used by such scum as hippies, messicants, negroes, and teenagers rebelling against Jesus. What we need to do is show them that they will never get into Heaven if they don't accept Jesus and the 1611 KJV Bible, and stop using dope.

That being said, if you believe your teenager is using marihuana, all hope is not lost. First, you must confirm that your child is indeed using marihuana. Here are some warning signs:

• Has red eyes
• Has gained weight, is eating too much
• Spends time alone with friends
• Listens to Satanic music such as Bob Marley or The Beatles
• Seems overly tired
• is neglecting their personal hygeine and wears clothes such as hemp sweaters
• uses deodorant to cover up the smell of marihuana

If any of these signs apply, it is likely that your child is using marihuana. If this is the case, action needs to be taken to ensure that they will not be damned to Hell. Firstly, confiscate all of their marihuana. Next, show them the love of Jesus and insist that they study the 1611 KJV Bible. Nothing can help them through tough periods like this better than faith in Jesus. If your child continues to smoke marihuana, you will need to beat them, as it is possible that they are possessed by a demon that is causing their narcotic addiction.

If all fails, well...

If a man have a stubborn and rebellious son, which will not obey the voice of his father, or the voice of his mother, and that, when they have chastened him, will not hearken unto them:

Then shall his father and his mother lay hold on him, and bring him out unto the elders of his city, and unto the gate of his place;
And they shall say unto the elders of his city, This our son is stubborn and rebellious, he will not obey our voice; he is a glutton, and a drunkard. And all the men of his city shall stone him with stones, that he die: so shalt thou put evil away from among you; and all Israel shall hear, and fear. (Deuteronomy 21:18-21)

Thank you and praise the LORD!