[That Catholic Chick]

Re: Cought my son masturbating, what should I do?

I'll be on a lookout for you. You'll prolly get a headstart though. Cheater! xD

Oh, yes indeed. He'll most definetly be there before us. But who cares! When we get there we're gonna have a red-carpet entrance. All the demons will ask us for our autograph. The devil himself will be so delighted by us. We'll be GRAND!

[Brother Alex]

Re: Cought my son masturbating, what should I do?

If you were my father i would be beating you brainless right now.

I don't think God would allow such things to happen:

Exodus 21:15:
And he that smiteth his father, or his mother, shall be surely put to death.

Exodus 21:17:
And he that curseth his father, or his mother, shall surely be put to death.

Proverbs 30:17:
The eye that mocketh at his father, and despiseth to obey his mother, the ravens of the valley shall pick it out, and the young eagles shall eat it.

[Kittenmuffin]

Re: Cought my son masturbating, what should I do?

I don't think God would allow such things to happen:

Exodus 21:15:
And he that smiteth his father, or his mother, shall be surely put to death.

Exodus 21:17:
And he that curseth his father, or his mother, shall surely be put to death.

Proverbs 30:17:
The eye that mocketh at his father, and despiseth to obey his mother, the ravens of the valley shall pick it out, and the young eagles shall eat it.

But in real life those things dont apply. Thee who smiteth me, i'll Chris Brown you.

[That Catholic Chick]

Re: Cought my son masturbating, what should I do?

I don't think God would allow such things to happen:

Exodus 21:15:
And he that smiteth his father, or his mother, shall be surely put to death.

Exodus 21:17:
And he that curseth his father, or his mother, shall surely be put to death.

Proverbs 30:17:
The eye that mocketh at his father, and despiseth to obey his mother, the ravens of the valley shall pick it out, and the young eagles shall eat it.

Many children are rude and talk back to their parents and they're still very much alive. I've heard a girl say the F-bomb to her mother at a supermarket and she didn't die.
I'm a wise talker when it comes to my mother I can never take her seriously so whenever she's scoulding me I usually laugh at her right in her face.
Did I die? Nope, still alive.

[That Catholic Chick]

Re: Cought my son masturbating, what should I do?

Your signature is awesome.

Why, thank you. So far I've recieved 5 infraction. I got one for (don't laugh)"Disrespectful lolling" I didn't know lolling could be so disrespectful. Thank God I spit on these infractions.

[Brother Alex]

Re: Cought my son masturbating, what should I do?

Many children are rude and talk back to their parents and they're still very much alive. I've heard a girl say the F-bomb to her mother at a supermarket and she didn't die.
I'm a wise talker when it comes to my mother I can never take her seriously so whenever she's scoulding me I usually laugh at her right in her face.
Did I die? Nope, still alive.

You're nothing but a demon possessed Mary-worshiping harlot so I won't listen to a word you say.

It's not up to God to put those cursed children to death, that is their parent's duty. However that is illegal in most countries so giving them a hard beating should do the work. Sadly there are many parents that don't follow the word of God and therefore don't beat their children as they should. As a parent myself I find that beating my children is the only right thing to do when it comes to things like that. It is God's will and those who don't follow his words shall burn in the eternal flames of hell whether they like it or not.

[Kittenmuffin]

Re: Cought my son masturbating, what should I do?

You're nothing but a demon possessed Mary-worshiping harlot so I won't listen to a word you say.

It's not up to God to put those cursed children to death, that is their parent's duty. However that is illegal in most countries so giving them a hard beating should do the work. Sadly there are many parents that don't follow the word of God and therefore don't beat their children as they should. As a parent myself I find that beating my children is the only right thing to do when it comes to things like that. It is God's will and those who don't follow his words shall burn in the eternal flames of hell whether they like it or not.

You should move to Israel or Pakistan or even the Emirates. I think you'd be much more comfortable there.

[That Catholic Chick]

Re: Cought my son masturbating, what should I do?

You're nothing but a demon possessed Mary-worshiping harlot so I won't listen to a word you say.

Mary is a beautiful women. She gave birth to Jesus. It's right to love her.

It's not up to God to put those cursed children to death, that is their parent's duty. However that is illegal in most countries so giving them a hard beating should do the work. Sadly there are many parents that don't follow the word of God and therefore don't beat their children as they should. As a parent myself I find that beating my children is the only right thing to do when it comes to things like that. It is God's will and those who don't follow his words shall burn in the eternal flames of hell whether they like it or not.

I used to recieve spankings when I was younger, but my mother didn't like it. So she came up with smart procedures like taking my Game Boy away or not letting me watch T.V. Simple things like that can work on a child. If not, then a spanking is right I guess.

[Bob4God]

Re: Cought my son masturbating, what should I do?

Attention Catlick Chick and Kittenmuffin:

Your derailing of this thread with meaningless dribble had better stop pretty quick, or you're going to find yourselves in a bad place.

As for the topic itself, it's been covered over and over again.

[Brother Alex]

Re: Cought my son masturbating, what should I do?

You should move to Israel or Pakistan or even the Emirates. I think you'd be much more comfortable there.

Hanging around all the Eskimos here in Iceland is bad enough so moving to a country full of joos and terrorists would not make it any better. The only place for me is the United States of America, that is where I'm going, the Land of the Free.

[SayvedByTheLord]

Re: Cought my son masturbating, what should I do?

Attention Catlick Chick and Kittenmuffin:

Your derailing of this thread with meaningless dribble had better stop pretty quick, or you're going to find yourselves in a bad place.

As for the topic itself, it's been covered over and over again.

Thank you Brother.

[Drizzle]

Re: Cought my son masturbating, what should I do?

I don't think it's masterbation itself that makes embarasses me. It's how someone could be so open about it. I always felt that was a private matter and left to be kept to ones self. People talk about it so casually. I'm like wow! Even if I did do that I wouldn't openly tell my girlfriends that. Sex itself doesn't embarass me. Depends who I'm talking about it with though. See you're a girl so I don't care, but I'm not going to go openly talk about that with some guys. I'd be more that embarrassed I'd be scared.

Ahhh, I see. I guess I'm more open with my sexuality than some. I wouldn't talk about it in a graphic manner to someone but to say "Yes, I masturbate" or "Yes, I enjoy sex" doesn't make me uncomfortable.

I also don't talk about sexual matters with guys because of the whole double standard thing and reputations I would get in school if I did, haha.

Oh, am I invited to yours and kittenmuffins Hell party?! (:

[James Dewitt]

Re: Cought my son masturbating, what should I do?

Oh, am I invited to yours and kittenmuffins Hell party?! (:

This is not a heathen dating site! Take your twisted sexural desires some where else!

[twistoffate]

Re: Cought my son masturbating, what should I do?

Scientists are liars, science is nothing but Satan's way of turning people against the true teachings of the LORD. Masturbation is not only disgusting, but it is also against God's will. I find it very strange that your parents haven't beaten the fear of God into you. You should pray to the LORD and turn away from this filthy habit if you don't want to burn in the eternal fires of hell. May God help you.

Legit question from a potential Landover Baptist member: why did God allow Science to progress so far if it's indeed false and based on lies?

[twistoffate]

Re: Cought my son masturbating, what should I do?

I asked that very question a few weeks ago, when I discovered my son treating his body like a cheap carnival ride. I lit up his back side so hard I broke my hand!

Brother James Hutchins offered this solution and it worked like a charm. Cook a big polish or kielbasa sausage in oil, when it is extremely hot remove it from the grease and have your son grab it tightly in his hands, remind him that God hates people who masturbate.

Thank you very much brother. I already smashed his fingers with my cane this morning and he has not masturbated all day. I shall try your solution tonight and see if it works. God bless you.

Do whatever you think it takes to get that sin out. No beating you can do will be as bad as what God has in store for kids who don't get the devil off their privates.

If I were your father I would be beating you brainless right now.

But brothers, isn't all that inconsistent with the bible's teachings??

And, ye fathers, provoke not your children to wrath: but bring them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord.