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  • Dirk
    True Christian™
    • Apr 2010
    • 1425

    #1

    Why metal is bad

    Dear fellow Christians,

    I have come to warn you about metal. We all know metal music is bad and is having a bad impact on our children. I want to name the bands so you can be extra carefull, but also other ways of indoctrination. It seems that many of us think of long haired homeless people, who listen to metal. While this image is accurate, I want to focus on the more subtile ways of indoctrination.

    First of all I would like to start with food. Yes, food. It is not the first thing that may come up in your mind, but it sure is a gateway. It seems that the new way to recruit is by food. They try to put a certain "extra ingredient" into our potatoes. Be sure to only buy potatoes that are approved by Pastor Zeke. The list will soon be available. We have not yet determined what that special "ingredient" is, but it seems that children who eat those potatoes may have a positive attitude towards guitars. This is getting dangerous now, because guitars are used in metal music. I am aware that most of you didn't think of this before, but I discovered it and wanted to warn you all.
  • Cranky Old Man
    Trying to out-Methuselah Methuselah
    You kids get off his lawn!
     
    • Jan 2010
    • 22373

    #2
    Re: Why metal is bad

    Please tell me you are kidding?
    5 Reasons why GOD HATES WOMEN!
    To most "Christians" The Bible is like a license agreement. They just scroll to the bottom and click "I agree". All those "Christians" will burn in Hell!
    James 2:10 "For whosoever shall keep the whole law, and yet offend in one point, he is guilty of all."

    Comment

    • jeezuzfreek102
      Unsaved trash
      • Apr 2010
      • 6

      #3
      Re: Why metal is bad

      Originally posted by Dork Funeral View Post
      Dear fellow Christians,

      I have come to warn you about metal. We all know metal music is bad and is having a bad impact on our children. I want to name the bands so you can be extra carefull, but also other ways of indoctrination. It seems that many of us think of long haired homeless people, who listen to metal. While this image is accurate, I want to focus on the more subtile ways of indoctrination.

      First of all I would like to start with food. Yes, food. It is not the first thing that may come up in your mind, but it sure is a gateway. It seems that the new way to recruit is by food. They try to put a certain "extra ingredient" into our potatoes. Be sure to only buy potatoes that are approved by Pastor Zeke. The list will soon be available. We have not yet determined what that special "ingredient" is, but it seems that children who eat those potatoes may have a positive attitude towards guitars. This is getting dangerous now, because guitars are used in metal music. I am aware that most of you didn't think of this before, but I discovered it and wanted to warn you all.
      Congrats, you just completely went from talking about metal music to potatoes.

      Comment

      • Sidoain
        Unsaved trash, Hatian with the AIDS!
        • Jul 2009
        • 173

        #4
        Re: Why metal is bad

        With no faqs to back up these claims and you think we will fell for it.
        Leviticus 18:23 Neither shalt thou lie with any beast to defile thyself therewith: neither shall any woman stand before a beast to lie down thereto: it is confusion.

        Comment

        • Condescending
          Forum Member
          Forum Member
          • May 2009
          • 33

          #5
          Re: Why metal is bad

          Originally posted by Dork Funeral View Post
          Dear fellow Christians,
          Be sure to only buy potatoes that are approved by Pastor Zeke.
          I don't know what kind of potatoes you've been eating but it sure looks as though you've been having some of that special stuff yourself. I highly doubt that Pastor Zeke would want to go around blessing everyone's potatoes like some kind of Jewish rabbi. This doesn't sound like a conclusion that anyone of us would come to.

          Originally posted by Dork Funeral View Post
          but I discovered it and wanted to warn you all.
          Next time, keep your discoveries to yourself. To think some people get paid to act stupid yet this guy does it for free. Stop humiliating yourself.
          Christians are sinless.


          Romans 5:14
          Death reigned from Adam to Moses, even over them that had not sinned.

          1 John 3:6
          Whosoever abideth in him sinneth not.

          1 John 3:9
          Whosoever is born of God doth not commit sin; for his seed remaineth in him: and he cannot sin, because he is born of God.

          1 John 5:18
          We know that whosoever is born of God sinneth not.

          3 John 11
          He that doeth good is of God: but he that doeth evil hath not seen God.

          Comment

          • Dirk
            True Christian™
            • Apr 2010
            • 1425

            #6
            Re: Why metal is bad

            I see what I did wrong. May the Lord forgive me, can you help me get back into His grace?

            Comment

            • Brother Alex
              True Christian™ Creation Cosmologist
              Strong in Spirit and Filled With Christ's Wisdom
              A Greater Genius Than Einstein, Hawking, and Sagan Combined
              True Christian™
              • Feb 2010
              • 860

              #7
              Re: Why metal is bad

              Originally posted by Dork Funeral View Post
              I see what I did wrong. May the Lord forgive me, can you help me get back into His grace?
              The only thing you need to do is to stop being a retarded troll. Then you must read the entire KJV1611 Holy Bible, stop worshiping Satan and accept Jesus Christ as your Lord and Savior.

              If you are only here to mock our Lord, then I must tell you that we are actually blessed by your insults.

              Matthew 5:10:
              Blessed are they which are persecuted for righteousness' sake: for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.

              YIC
              PROOF: America in the Bible!
              8 REASONS WHY GOD HATES THE FAROE ISLANDS!



              The wicked shall be turned into hell, and all the nations that forget God.
              (Psalm 9:17)

              Add me on
              Facebook!

              Comment

              • Dirk
                True Christian™
                • Apr 2010
                • 1425

                #8
                Re: Why metal is bad

                Originally posted by Brother Alex View Post
                The only thing you need to do is to stop being a retarded troll. Then you must read the entire KJV1611 Holy Bible, stop worshiping Satan and accept Jesus Christ as your Lord and Savior.

                If you are only here to mock our Lord, then I must tell you that we are actually blessed by your insults.

                Matthew 5:10:
                Blessed are they which are persecuted for righteousness' sake: for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.

                YIC
                No, I am not here to mock our Lord! That was never my intention and never will be! I only want to follow the One. I am reading as we speak.

                Comment

                • Brother Alex
                  True Christian™ Creation Cosmologist
                  Strong in Spirit and Filled With Christ's Wisdom
                  A Greater Genius Than Einstein, Hawking, and Sagan Combined
                  True Christian™
                  • Feb 2010
                  • 860

                  #9
                  Re: Why metal is bad

                  Originally posted by Dork Funeral View Post
                  No, I am not here to mock our Lord! That was never my intention and never will be! I only want to follow the One. I am reading as we speak.
                  You seem to be on the right track then. Just be sure to avoid hell at all costs by regularly donating $$$ to Jesus. God bless you, friend.
                  PROOF: America in the Bible!
                  8 REASONS WHY GOD HATES THE FAROE ISLANDS!



                  The wicked shall be turned into hell, and all the nations that forget God.
                  (Psalm 9:17)

                  Add me on
                  Facebook!

                  Comment

                  • Dirk
                    True Christian™
                    • Apr 2010
                    • 1425

                    #10
                    Re: Why metal is bad

                    Originally posted by Brother Alex View Post
                    You seem to be on the right track then. Just be sure to avoid hell at all costs by regularly donating $$$ to Jesus. God bless you, friend.
                    I thank you sincerely and let me give you a nice text:

                    1Sam.23:21

                    And Saul said, Blessed be ye of the LORD; for ye have compassion on me.

                    Comment

                    • Jimmy C Lombardo
                      Forum Member
                      Forum Member
                      • Mar 2009
                      • 218

                      #11
                      Re: Why metal is bad

                      Its proven sience that Satan infiltrates the child's brain through subliminal messaging in metal.



                      Somebody should get this girl listenin' to the sweet twang of Godly Christian tunes quick before Satan turns her into one of 'em Olsen crackwhores.

                      Comment

                      • Dirk
                        True Christian™
                        • Apr 2010
                        • 1425

                        #12
                        Re: Why metal is bad

                        I didn't watch the entire video.....it's a white child that.....I don't know what to say....

                        Comment

                        • Nobar King
                          Municipal Code Archivist - Deuteronomy 28:58
                          Christ's Guardian
                          True Christian™
                          • Sep 2007
                          • 23748

                          #13
                          Re: Why metal is bad

                          That metal band Cake is certainly one to avoid.
                          May you be a blessing to every life you touch.

                          Comment

                          • Virgin93
                            Unsaved teenaged foreigner
                             
                            • Sep 2009
                            • 153

                            #14
                            Re: Why metal is bad

                            There is nothing bad with metal. How could I cook without a pan made out of iron?

                            Comment

                            • Noble Six
                              Unsaved trash
                              Under Investigation
                              • Jan 2011
                              • 2

                              #15
                              Re: Why metal is bad

                              Originally posted by Virgin93 View Post
                              There is nothing bad with metal. How could I cook without a pan made out of iron?

                              +1 internets to you. There's another one in it for you if you correct the grammar.

                              Comment

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