Why metal is bad

[Dirk]

Dear fellow Christians,

I have come to warn you about metal. We all know metal music is bad and is having a bad impact on our children. I want to name the bands so you can be extra carefull, but also other ways of indoctrination. It seems that many of us think of long haired homeless people, who listen to metal. While this image is accurate, I want to focus on the more subtile ways of indoctrination.

First of all I would like to start with food. Yes, food. It is not the first thing that may come up in your mind, but it sure is a gateway. It seems that the new way to recruit is by food. They try to put a certain "extra ingredient" into our potatoes. Be sure to only buy potatoes that are approved by Pastor Zeke. The list will soon be available. We have not yet determined what that special "ingredient" is, but it seems that children who eat those potatoes may have a positive attitude towards guitars. This is getting dangerous now, because guitars are used in metal music. I am aware that most of you didn't think of this before, but I discovered it and wanted to warn you all.

[Cranky Old Man]

Re: Why metal is bad

Please tell me you are kidding?

[jeezuzfreek102]

Re: Why metal is bad

Dear fellow Christians,

I have come to warn you about metal. We all know metal music is bad and is having a bad impact on our children. I want to name the bands so you can be extra carefull, but also other ways of indoctrination. It seems that many of us think of long haired homeless people, who listen to metal. While this image is accurate, I want to focus on the more subtile ways of indoctrination.

First of all I would like to start with food. Yes, food. It is not the first thing that may come up in your mind, but it sure is a gateway. It seems that the new way to recruit is by food. They try to put a certain "extra ingredient" into our potatoes. Be sure to only buy potatoes that are approved by Pastor Zeke. The list will soon be available. We have not yet determined what that special "ingredient" is, but it seems that children who eat those potatoes may have a positive attitude towards guitars. This is getting dangerous now, because guitars are used in metal music. I am aware that most of you didn't think of this before, but I discovered it and wanted to warn you all.

Congrats, you just completely went from talking about metal music to potatoes.

[Sidoain]

Re: Why metal is bad

With no faqs to back up these claims and you think we will fell for it.

[Condescending]

Re: Why metal is bad

Dear fellow Christians,
Be sure to only buy potatoes that are approved by Pastor Zeke.

I don't know what kind of potatoes you've been eating but it sure looks as though you've been having some of that special stuff yourself. I highly doubt that Pastor Zeke would want to go around blessing everyone's potatoes like some kind of Jewish rabbi. This doesn't sound like a conclusion that anyone of us would come to.

but I discovered it and wanted to warn you all.

Next time, keep your discoveries to yourself. To think some people get paid to act stupid yet this guy does it for free. Stop humiliating yourself.

[Dirk]

Re: Why metal is bad

I see what I did wrong. May the Lord forgive me, can you help me get back into His grace?

[Brother Alex]

Re: Why metal is bad

I see what I did wrong. May the Lord forgive me, can you help me get back into His grace?

The only thing you need to do is to stop being a retarded troll. Then you must read the entire KJV1611 Holy Bible, stop worshiping Satan and accept Jesus Christ as your Lord and Savior.

If you are only here to mock our Lord, then I must tell you that we are actually blessed by your insults.

Matthew 5:10:
Blessed are they which are persecuted for righteousness' sake: for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.

YIC

[Dirk]

Re: Why metal is bad

The only thing you need to do is to stop being a retarded troll. Then you must read the entire KJV1611 Holy Bible, stop worshiping Satan and accept Jesus Christ as your Lord and Savior.

If you are only here to mock our Lord, then I must tell you that we are actually blessed by your insults.

Matthew 5:10:
Blessed are they which are persecuted for righteousness' sake: for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.

YIC

No, I am not here to mock our Lord! That was never my intention and never will be! I only want to follow the One. I am reading as we speak.

[Brother Alex]

Re: Why metal is bad

No, I am not here to mock our Lord! That was never my intention and never will be! I only want to follow the One. I am reading as we speak.

You seem to be on the right track then. Just be sure to avoid hell at all costs by regularly donating $$$ to Jesus. God bless you, friend.

[Dirk]

Re: Why metal is bad

You seem to be on the right track then. Just be sure to avoid hell at all costs by regularly donating $$$ to Jesus. God bless you, friend.

I thank you sincerely and let me give you a nice text:

1Sam.23:21

And Saul said, Blessed be ye of the LORD; for ye have compassion on me.

[Jimmy C Lombardo]

Re: Why metal is bad

Its proven sience that Satan infiltrates the child's brain through subliminal messaging in metal.

Somebody should get this girl listenin' to the sweet twang of Godly Christian tunes quick before Satan turns her into one of 'em Olsen crackwhores.

[Dirk]

Re: Why metal is bad

I didn't watch the entire video.....it's a white child that.....I don't know what to say....

[Nobar King]

Re: Why metal is bad

That metal band Cake is certainly one to avoid.

[Virgin93]

Re: Why metal is bad

There is nothing bad with metal. How could I cook without a pan made out of iron?

[Noble Six]

Re: Why metal is bad

There is nothing bad with metal. How could I cook without a pan made out of iron?

+1 internets to you. There's another one in it for you if you correct the grammar.