[narrowpathy]

Re: Hula Hoops

Also, hula Hoops only teach girls how to gyrate their hips, nothing more and nothing less. But your role as the parent is to explain that when she grows up, her main job will be gratifying her husband's sexual needs, and her husband's sexual needs only, so that he will be better motivated to insert his tallywacker in her cooter, so that she will get pregnant very often and give birth to many Lord's warriors who will fight for the Lord in overseas missions. It is your role as the Christian parent to make her understand that she will be saved in childbearing.
Of course she can get promiscous if you don't instill in her that promiscuosity is the road to Hell and if you don't explain what Hell is.

[narrowpathy]

Re: Hula Hoops

If anyone is a sadist, it's you. You continue to inflict us with the pain of having to ready your whiney, liberal posts. Don't you have a rain forest or spotted owl to save somewhere?



You're advocating a toy that makes young girls--prepubescent girls--hanker for a strange tallywacker? I think you need to reassess your morals. You are a despicable man.

Why a strange tallywacker? Have I said anything about strange tallywackers? When a girl gets mature enough to hanker for a tallywacker, it must be the tallywackers of her True Christian (tm) fiance. That's an axiom, isn't it?

[Marshall]

Re: Hula Hoops

Hula Hoops promote promiscuosity in the easily impressionable youth of today.

They aren't as smart as we were as children.

[Old Man Hatchet]

Re: Hula Hoops

You would put your car keys into your grandaughter's vagina? You're not just a pervert, you're a sadist.

If anyone is a sadist, it's you. You continue to inflict us with the pain of having to ready your whiney, liberal posts. Don't you have a rain forest or spotted owl to save somewhere?

6How fair and how pleasant art thou, O love, for delights!

9And the roof of thy mouth like the best wine for my beloved, that goeth down sweetly, causing the lips of those that are asleep to speak.
10I am my beloved's, and his desire is toward me.

What is wrong with girls learning how to pleasure True Christian men?
Hula-hoops are God's gift to True Christian men, reward for their tithing and all. I bet Jewish girls had some kinds of hula-hoops in order to learn how to better satisfy Lord's warriors. Praise Jesus!

You're advocating a toy that makes young girls--prepubescent girls--hanker for strange tallywacker? I think you need to reassess your morals. You are a despicable man.

[Mrs. Mary Whitford]

Re: Hula Hoops

Hang on a second! This is a parenting forum and I believe I'm entitled to throw in my two cents worth.

Excuse me? The only thing you're "entitled" to (I knew this culture of entitlement was getting out of hand ) around here is to read the Word of God and to seek salvation. Anything more is only because we are compassionate Christians and allow you a little more leeway through our good graces, but don't take such charity as anything more than it is as that leeway can be easily rescinded.

[narrowpathy]

Re: Hula Hoops

skip



I am old enough to remember the hula hoop craze. One couldn't step outside without seeing throngs of children and adults gyrating and shimmying. I still have nightmares. It was like being trapped inside of a porno film. skip
Praise Jesus.

6How fair and how pleasant art thou, O love, for delights!

9And the roof of thy mouth like the best wine for my beloved, that goeth down sweetly, causing the lips of those that are asleep to speak.
10I am my beloved's, and his desire is toward me.

What is wrong with girls learning how to pleasure True Christian men?
Hula-hoops are God's gift to True Christian men, reward for their tithing and all. I bet Jewish girls had some kinds of hula-hoops in order to learn how to better satisfy Lord's warriors. Praise Jesus!

[SUV]

Re: Hula Hoops

If America needs me, they know where to find me. With pride.

I salute you, Soldier!!! I bet you aren't scared of any of those WMDs or IUDs or any of that stuff, either

[Pfc. James Nye]

Re: Hula Hoops

Hello.

A Welcome addition to our Godly Board are you, Pfc James Nye!!!

Thank you for the warm welcome. This is a good use of my time as I wait for the end.

I see you're still suited up; tell me, do you have plans to go to Iraq any time soon and continue America's Fight for Freedom?

I call to volunteer all the time. They won't let me go. One time, when the whole thing started, I called so often I got a real sore throat. I could only screech. "War! Waaaaaar! Waaaaaar!"

Still I did not get to go.

I even had Black Jack Pershing's direct number. No go. The operator told me that National-573 wasn't even a working number anymore.

If America needs me, they know where to find me. With pride.

"Chopper" Nye

[Old Iron Crotch]

Re: Hula Hoops

I do not understand what all the hoopla is about. Of course I was going to use an instrument of some sort to accomplish the task of breaking her hymen. I believe the fact that my car keys were readily accessible in my trouser pocket flashed through my mind.

To all of the unsaved scum who made lewd suggestions about me and my granddaughter: you are sickos to have such depraved thoughts about a young girl; the darkest and most sulphurous pits of Hell are reserved for you.

You would put your car keys into your grandaughter's vagina? You're not just a pervert, you're a sadist.

[Nobar King]

Re: Hula Hoops

I was thinking the same thing, and the keyfob (unlocker) is just about the right size.

[Old Man Hatchet]

Re: Hula Hoops

I do not understand what all the hoopla is about. Of course I was going to use an instrument of some sort to accomplish the task of breaking her hymen. I believe the fact that my car keys were readily accessible in my trouser pocket flashed through my mind.

To all of the unsaved scum who made lewd suggestions about me and my granddaughter: you are sickos to have such depraved thoughts about a young girl; the darkest and most sulphurous pits of Hell are reserved for you.

[Old Iron Crotch]

Re: Hula Hoops

That's awful.

What a vile disgusting accusation against Mr Hatchet.

I'm sure he will not use his fingers but a more appropriate tool like a clean wooden stick for example.

She's still a child, therefore for an adult to insert any object into her vagina is still child molestation, and he's still a pervert.

[Juliette]

Re: Hula Hoops

You said that you were going to break her hymen manually - ie you, a grown man, were going to insert your finger into a child's vagina. That's child molesataion, you pervert.

That's awful.

What a vile disgusting accusation against Mr Hatchet.

I'm sure he will not use his fingers but a more appropriate tool like a clean wooden stick for example.

[SUV]

Re: Hula Hoops

A Welcome addition to our Godly Board are you, Pfc James Nye!!!

I see you're still suited up; tell me, do you have plans to go to Iraq any time soon and continue America's Fight for Freedom?

[Brother Temperance]

Re: Hula Hoops

Here are a couple of strange toys:

That one appears to be a very thinly disguised version of the Christian fish symbol with a sword rammed through it. How blasphemous. What's worse, it appears to be a thick purple rod as well. I don't even want to think about what that means.

Hula hoops are sexy. Ever see a hot woman in leotards with ten hula hoops spinning around her tight body? And then she swallows fire? It creates an explosion in my pants.

Are you a friend of Star-Finder's, by any chance?

Son, you clearly don't know your history. The Hula Hoop was introduced in 1957. Within a few short years the first birth control pill was introduced, Satanic Rock and Roll music began to corrupt the youth of this country, Betty Friedan unleashed the Feminazis and Lesbeans, wanton sex, "free love" and fornication became the norm, the "hippies" emerged along with the radical left, drug use (and "Acid") damaged the brains and DNA of an entire generation, and Bill Clinton told his first lie when he said he did not "inhale".

This is no laughing matter.

Did you know that the Soviets invaded Hungary in 1956 because they'd discovered that the Hungarians were working on a prototype version of the Hula-Hoop? No doubt, the tidal wave of morality that would've unleashed would've sped up the fall of the Eastern Bloc by a good 35 years.

Well that was a mouthful...
Morality is pretty much a weakness. I wouldn't care if someone put a bullet in my head, I'd be dead!

What if it turned you into Terri Schiavo?

You silly old coot. You beat your own daughter and gand daughter because she had a hula hoop? You're nothing more than a gutless coward

That's just flat-out nonsense. Do you have any idea how much courage it takes for a full-grown man to physically confront a girl in the midst of a Hula-Hoop frenzy? I don't know if I'd be brave enough to do what he did in that situation.

You said that you were going to break her hymen manually - ie you, a grown man, were going to insert your finger into a child's vagina. That's child molesataion, you pervert.

You're being over-literal here. He didn't necessarily mean he was actually going to insert his finger in there. There could be any number of tools he was going to use. Or do you think that manual workers do everything with just their hands and no other objects?