[Joanna Lytton-Vasey]

Re: The New Jet Aircraft for Pastor Zeke Committee.

Hmm. Nice idea, but no room for Pastor Zeke's entourage.

It can accommodate eight passengers and crew, as well as two pilots.

Do they make it in a more realistic size?

[Elmer G. White]

Re: The New Jet Aircraft for Pastor Zeke Committee.

I also agree that we should concentrate on the most pivotal and urgent issue.

Saving souls.

The best way to do this is to provide the absolutely best of the best crème de la crème evangelist pastor Flint with the tools to do this. He must be able to reach as many sinners as quickly as possible. A jet aircraft for pastor Flint is the best hope many aspiring followers of Christ have.

I found this delightful novelty in the Interwebs.

The Avro Business Jet Explorer, believed to be a first in aviation history, has a platform which - once the plane has landed - transforms the rear of the aircraft into a living space with open-air views.
The viewing deck can be pulled back in with the flick of a switch so that the jet can easily take off to its next destination.
Designed by companies BAE Systems and Design Q, the jet able to land on short runways and uneven landing strips, delivering passengers into wilderness areas.
However only those with a spare $26.5 million will be able to buy the plane.
It can accommodate eight passengers and crew, as well as two pilots.
At 30.5 metres, the plane is being built in the UK, and the interiors can be modified to suit individual buyers.

The viewing deck is really useful. The pastor can just open it up on an airfield and start preaching to the masses that gather to hear him. It is going to be Paul in the Areopagus again. Very useful.

Acts 17:32-34
And when they heard of the resurrection of the dead, some mocked: and others said, We will hear thee again of this matter. So Paul departed from among them. Howbeit certain men clave unto him, and believed: among the which was Dionysius the Areopagite, and a woman named Damaris, and others with them.

There are souls to be won over! We'll have all our financial needs covered one day in Heaven!




Yours in Christ,

Elmer

[Faith_Machine]

Re: The New Jet Aircraft for Pastor Zeke Committee.

Let's not distract ourselves with side issues and gossip. The topic at hand is our budget crisis for this fiscal year. We need to tighten our belts.

I knew this would not be a popular thing to say.

[Jim Farmer]

Re: The New Jet Aircraft for Pastor Zeke Committee.

Who has been taking care of the church finances, since Mistress Cookie went AWOL with you? No one. We need Mistress Cookie to come back into the office, give Granny July the bullet, and get the churches finances back in order. It's interesting that it's you of all people who has raised this as an issue, when we consider your murky involvement in Cookie's absence.

[Faith_Machine]

Re: The New Jet Aircraft for Pastor Zeke Committee.

I hate to rain on everybody's parade, but I have to say, I don't think we can afford this expense right now. I was at the last LBC budget meeting, and the numbers do not look good.

According to my calculations, even if every single member of this church increased their tithes by ten percent, we would still be operating with a structural deficit.

But if we sold the existing plane, and did not replace it, that would be the one single largest savings we could conceivably realize. It would bring us a lot closer to operating in the black again.

[Mrs. Elizabeth Johnson]

Re: The New Jet Aircraft for Pastor Zeke Committee.

How would you be honoured by your husband giving away his money? You make it sound like you were involved in the decision.

Anyways, why are you all thinking subsonic? Sure, a fully kitted A380XX or 747-800 might all luxurious and comfortable, but you're never gonna get it much over 600 mph. If Zeke's late for, say, a prayer meeting at the third hole of Pebble Beach, he needs to get there now, and this baby'll do over 1500 mph!



Can't take that long for Portway to learn to read Cyrillic, can it?

Only $375,000 here: http://www.controller.com/listingsde...ML/1354915.htm (unless your buddy Kim'll give you a deal on one of his dad's old ones)

Are you a Christian yet, Didymus? My husband tells you to stop rebuking me, and by extension, him. He's a good Christian pastor of a proper Baptist church, and he only allows good American Christian men and women to rebuke me, since I'm a foolish unsaved woman (1 Timothy 2:15). However, I have accepted Him as my savior, and I will be heaven-bound, while you are still riding the shortbus to Hell. How much have you donated to Pastor Zeke (besides grief!)?

Crossly,
Mrs. Elizabeth Johnson

[Johny Joe Hold]

Re: The New Jet Aircraft for Pastor Zeke Committee.

Please be reminded that while these are all great ideas, the plane needs to be able to accommodate "Ezekiel's Wheels".
Which incidentally has over 7000 miles on it now.

Great point, brother Osborne. In many countries, Creflo Dollar has to ride donkeys to get to his preaching venues.

We want Pastor Zeke to inspire people in those poverty countries. We want them saying, "Wow. If I give my tithe to Pastor Zeke, love Jesus and support capitalism instead of socialism, I can have a car like his."

[Freddy Osborne]

Re: The New Jet Aircraft for Pastor Zeke Committee.

Please be reminded that while these are all great ideas, the plane needs to be able to accommodate "Ezekiel's Wheels".

Which incidentally has over 7000 miles on it now.

[Didymus Much]

Re: The New Jet Aircraft for Pastor Zeke Committee.

But there's no cabin space in it. No room for his bed, or his big screen TV, or his bar, or his gymnasium. And let's face it, if Pastor Zeke flies to Biafra for a photo shoot with starving babies, he can't be expected to stay in a Biafran hut.

No one's saying there can't be extra planes flying his stuff around, just why should he have to wait?

And it goes to 60,000 feet, that much closer to Jesus than Dollar's Learjet.

...May I suggest something a bit more ¨up to date¨?...

Sure, you can, but how about something that's not 400 mph slower (kinda defeats the purpose), and especially not FRENCH?

If they took off all those white flag deployment modules they've cluttered it with, it might go a slight bit faster...

[Roland]

Re: The New Jet Aircraft for Pastor Zeke Committee.

Dear Didymus Much,

I am sorry to say you suggest some post WW2 junk. May I suggest something a bit more ¨up to date¨?

[Jim Farmer]

Re: The New Jet Aircraft for Pastor Zeke Committee.

How would you be honoured by your husband giving away his money? You make it sound like you were involved in the decision.

Anyways, why are you all thinking subsonic? Sure, a fully kitted A380XX or 747-800 might all luxurious and comfortable, but you're never gonna get it much over 600 mph. If Zeke's late for, say, a prayer meeting at the third hole of Pebble Beach, he needs to get there now, and this baby'll do over 1500 mph!



Can't take that long for Portway to learn to read Cyrillic, can it?

Only $375,000 here: http://www.controller.com/listingsde...ML/1354915.htm (unless your buddy Kim'll give you a deal on one of his dad's old ones)

But there's no cabin space in it. No room for his bed, or his big screen TV, or his bar, or his gymnasium. And let's face it, if Pastor Zeke flies to Biafra for a photo shoot with starving babies, he can't be expected to stay in a Biafran hut.

[Didymus Much]

Re: The New Jet Aircraft for Pastor Zeke Committee.

...My husband and I would be honored to contribute $1,000,000...

How would you be honoured by your husband giving away his money? You make it sound like you were involved in the decision.

Anyways, why are you all thinking subsonic? Sure, a fully kitted A380XX or 747-800 might all luxurious and comfortable, but you're never gonna get it much over 600 mph. If Zeke's late for, say, a prayer meeting at the third hole of Pebble Beach, he needs to get there now, and this baby'll do over 1500 mph!



Can't take that long for Portway to learn to read Cyrillic, can it?

Only $375,000 here: http://www.controller.com/listingsde...ML/1354915.htm (unless your buddy Kim'll give you a deal on one of his dad's old ones)

[Mrs. Isaac Peters]

Re: The New Jet Aircraft for Pastor Zeke Committee.

We'd better get started on extending Freehold's main runway, then.

Then it's also a Christian job-creation program. Then Jimmy-Roy, bless his heart, can become a productive member of society again, as I'm sure he wants to do, and stop eating us out of house and home, not that we'd ever begrudge him, of course (Luke 6:30).

[Johny Joe Hold]

Re: The New Jet Aircraft for Pastor Zeke Committee.

Is there a fund for Pastor Zeke's new airplane? My husband and I would be honored to contribute $1,000,000 to helping him stay ahead of the negro preacher!

That is greatly appreciated, Mrs. Johnson. The starting price of Pastor Zeke choice is about $350 million so your contribution is a start.

We also need to meet with engineers to get the A380 tricked out the way Pastor wants it. Frankly, I have some suggestions for what some might say is my own purpose.

I, personally, am rather angry at Creflo Dollar. When he was arrested for physically assaulting his teenage daughter several of us here risk our own careers to defend him. We defended him on this site. Then, we defended is girlfriends and eventual divorce.

But, what does Creflo do to show his gratitude? He tries to one up Landover Baptist Church with his new airplane. Probably he gives us the bird when he flies over.

I want to send Creflo a picture of Pastor Zeke in the cigar room of his A380 watching football on a large screen. That would be while stretched out in his Lazy Boy. Then, I'd ask how Creflo feels cramped up in his little box of an airplane.

[Mrs. Elizabeth Johnson]

Re: The New Jet Aircraft for Pastor Zeke Committee.

Is there a fund for Pastor Zeke's new airplane? My husband and I would be honored to contribute $1,000,000 to helping him stay ahead of the negro preacher!