[Faith_Machine]

Re: The New Jet Aircraft for Pastor Zeke Committee.

I hate to rain on everybody's parade, but I have to say, I don't think we can afford this expense right now. I was at the last LBC budget meeting, and the numbers do not look good.

According to my calculations, even if every single member of this church increased their tithes by ten percent, we would still be operating with a structural deficit.

But if we sold the existing plane, and did not replace it, that would be the one single largest savings we could conceivably realize. It would bring us a lot closer to operating in the black again.

[Mrs. Elizabeth Johnson]

Re: The New Jet Aircraft for Pastor Zeke Committee.

How would you be honoured by your husband giving away his money? You make it sound like you were involved in the decision.

Anyways, why are you all thinking subsonic? Sure, a fully kitted A380XX or 747-800 might all luxurious and comfortable, but you're never gonna get it much over 600 mph. If Zeke's late for, say, a prayer meeting at the third hole of Pebble Beach, he needs to get there now, and this baby'll do over 1500 mph!



Can't take that long for Portway to learn to read Cyrillic, can it?

Only $375,000 here: http://www.controller.com/listingsde...ML/1354915.htm (unless your buddy Kim'll give you a deal on one of his dad's old ones)

Are you a Christian yet, Didymus? My husband tells you to stop rebuking me, and by extension, him. He's a good Christian pastor of a proper Baptist church, and he only allows good American Christian men and women to rebuke me, since I'm a foolish unsaved woman (1 Timothy 2:15). However, I have accepted Him as my savior, and I will be heaven-bound, while you are still riding the shortbus to Hell. How much have you donated to Pastor Zeke (besides grief!)?

Crossly,
Mrs. Elizabeth Johnson

[Johny Joe Hold]

Re: The New Jet Aircraft for Pastor Zeke Committee.

Please be reminded that while these are all great ideas, the plane needs to be able to accommodate "Ezekiel's Wheels".
Which incidentally has over 7000 miles on it now.

Great point, brother Osborne. In many countries, Creflo Dollar has to ride donkeys to get to his preaching venues.

We want Pastor Zeke to inspire people in those poverty countries. We want them saying, "Wow. If I give my tithe to Pastor Zeke, love Jesus and support capitalism instead of socialism, I can have a car like his."

[Freddy Osborne]

Re: The New Jet Aircraft for Pastor Zeke Committee.

Please be reminded that while these are all great ideas, the plane needs to be able to accommodate "Ezekiel's Wheels".

Which incidentally has over 7000 miles on it now.

[Didymus Much]

Re: The New Jet Aircraft for Pastor Zeke Committee.

But there's no cabin space in it. No room for his bed, or his big screen TV, or his bar, or his gymnasium. And let's face it, if Pastor Zeke flies to Biafra for a photo shoot with starving babies, he can't be expected to stay in a Biafran hut.

No one's saying there can't be extra planes flying his stuff around, just why should he have to wait?

And it goes to 60,000 feet, that much closer to Jesus than Dollar's Learjet.

...May I suggest something a bit more ¨up to date¨?...

Sure, you can, but how about something that's not 400 mph slower (kinda defeats the purpose), and especially not FRENCH?

If they took off all those white flag deployment modules they've cluttered it with, it might go a slight bit faster...

[Roland]

Re: The New Jet Aircraft for Pastor Zeke Committee.

Dear Didymus Much,

I am sorry to say you suggest some post WW2 junk. May I suggest something a bit more ¨up to date¨?

[Jim Farmer]

Re: The New Jet Aircraft for Pastor Zeke Committee.

How would you be honoured by your husband giving away his money? You make it sound like you were involved in the decision.

Anyways, why are you all thinking subsonic? Sure, a fully kitted A380XX or 747-800 might all luxurious and comfortable, but you're never gonna get it much over 600 mph. If Zeke's late for, say, a prayer meeting at the third hole of Pebble Beach, he needs to get there now, and this baby'll do over 1500 mph!



Can't take that long for Portway to learn to read Cyrillic, can it?

Only $375,000 here: http://www.controller.com/listingsde...ML/1354915.htm (unless your buddy Kim'll give you a deal on one of his dad's old ones)

But there's no cabin space in it. No room for his bed, or his big screen TV, or his bar, or his gymnasium. And let's face it, if Pastor Zeke flies to Biafra for a photo shoot with starving babies, he can't be expected to stay in a Biafran hut.

[Didymus Much]

Re: The New Jet Aircraft for Pastor Zeke Committee.

...My husband and I would be honored to contribute $1,000,000...

How would you be honoured by your husband giving away his money? You make it sound like you were involved in the decision.

Anyways, why are you all thinking subsonic? Sure, a fully kitted A380XX or 747-800 might all luxurious and comfortable, but you're never gonna get it much over 600 mph. If Zeke's late for, say, a prayer meeting at the third hole of Pebble Beach, he needs to get there now, and this baby'll do over 1500 mph!



Can't take that long for Portway to learn to read Cyrillic, can it?

Only $375,000 here: http://www.controller.com/listingsde...ML/1354915.htm (unless your buddy Kim'll give you a deal on one of his dad's old ones)

[Mrs. Isaac Peters]

Re: The New Jet Aircraft for Pastor Zeke Committee.

We'd better get started on extending Freehold's main runway, then.

Then it's also a Christian job-creation program. Then Jimmy-Roy, bless his heart, can become a productive member of society again, as I'm sure he wants to do, and stop eating us out of house and home, not that we'd ever begrudge him, of course (Luke 6:30).

[Johny Joe Hold]

Re: The New Jet Aircraft for Pastor Zeke Committee.

Is there a fund for Pastor Zeke's new airplane? My husband and I would be honored to contribute $1,000,000 to helping him stay ahead of the negro preacher!

That is greatly appreciated, Mrs. Johnson. The starting price of Pastor Zeke choice is about $350 million so your contribution is a start.

We also need to meet with engineers to get the A380 tricked out the way Pastor wants it. Frankly, I have some suggestions for what some might say is my own purpose.

I, personally, am rather angry at Creflo Dollar. When he was arrested for physically assaulting his teenage daughter several of us here risk our own careers to defend him. We defended him on this site. Then, we defended is girlfriends and eventual divorce.

But, what does Creflo do to show his gratitude? He tries to one up Landover Baptist Church with his new airplane. Probably he gives us the bird when he flies over.

I want to send Creflo a picture of Pastor Zeke in the cigar room of his A380 watching football on a large screen. That would be while stretched out in his Lazy Boy. Then, I'd ask how Creflo feels cramped up in his little box of an airplane.

[Mrs. Elizabeth Johnson]

Re: The New Jet Aircraft for Pastor Zeke Committee.

Is there a fund for Pastor Zeke's new airplane? My husband and I would be honored to contribute $1,000,000 to helping him stay ahead of the negro preacher!

[Joanna Lytton-Vasey]

Re: The New Jet Aircraft for Pastor Zeke Committee.

Some things cannot be helped. This plane can and will be washed clean with Christ's Blood. The joos who took over Boeing ran it into the ground. If the Airbus is good enough for my good friend the Sultan, then it's good enough for God's favorite Pastor.

Unfortunately the spanking new Airbus assembly line in Mobile, Alabama, seems to be set to manufacture only the A320, which isn't at all what you deserve, Pastor. Also a delivery date of 2016 is just ridiculous. And you'd probably find the overhead lockers full of watermelon rinds.

[Jim Farmer]

Re: The New Jet Aircraft for Pastor Zeke Committee.

We'd better get started on extending Freehold's main runway, then.

[Pastor Ezekiel]

Re: The New Jet Aircraft for Pastor Zeke Committee.

Isn't the Airbus made by a Europeon consortium, though?

Some things cannot be helped. This plane can and will be washed clean with Christ's Blood. The joos who took over Boeing ran it into the ground. If the Airbus is good enough for my good friend the Sultan, then it's good enough for God's favorite Pastor.

[Joanna Lytton-Vasey]

Re: The New Jet Aircraft for Pastor Zeke Committee.

Isn't the Airbus made by a Europeon consortium, though?