How to Ward off a Dangerous Negro

[Daisy Mae Johnson]

Brothers and Sisters,

Almost every day I am scared to death that a savage negro buck is going to try and break in my home and rape me. Therefore, I designed this innocent looking table that can also be transformed into a useful weapon.


Pre-order today! Protect yourselves from savage beasts! This unique Negro Defense Table is on sale for only $650.00. It can also be made in custom colors upon request.

[Bob4God]

Re: How to Ward off a Dangerous Negro

For a woman, this is a marvel of engineering. Are you sure you didn't have help from a male friend or family member?

Nevertheless, I am always a champion of the benefits of free market capitalism (except for pornographers, Hollywood, video game developers, liberal media, wedding caterers who accommodate homosexuals, etc) and I think this table would be an excellent investment for any woman. I would be happy to sell them in my gun store.

Not only can women use it for self defense against colored aggressors, but it also gives them something to decorate and clean! Just be careful that the time you spend moving it around the room and dressing it with doilies doesn't take away from valuable time you could spend worrying about being raped.

[Nobar King]

Re: How to Ward off a Dangerous Negro

This looks like a fantastic tool, however I worry that the table leg might be too heavy to effectively wield as a weapon. The table top might be too heavy, too.

I'll be waiting for a carbon fiber and titanium version of this product before I'm in.

Edit: If you're lucky, the attacker conveniently falls with his spine on the base of the table, which would probably be classified as a passive trap.

[Roland]

Re: How to Ward off a Dangerous Negro

Don´t make your self defence to complicated. The solution to your problem is right here:

[Dr. Anthony J. Toole]

Re: How to Ward off a Dangerous Negro

Yes, but where can you put a vase of flowers on that?

[Roland]

Re: How to Ward off a Dangerous Negro

Yes, but where can you put a vase of flowers on that?

You don´t. The vase with flowers you can put anywhere you like (with a somwhat stable surface).

[Mary Etheldreda]

Re: How to Ward off a Dangerous Negro

Sister, that is truly clever! The LORD has surely given you a wonderful idea! I'd like one of those myself. It would make me feel more secure than our current system - Saran Wrap:

[Mrs. Elizabeth Johnson]

Re: How to Ward off a Dangerous Negro

That seems like a wonderful idea! However, my number 1 defense is prayer, and I pray that God will protect me from negros (following Matthew 7:7). My number 2 defense is modest clothing that keeps me from looking or being a slut. However, you can't be too prepared, so I sent you my check, Sister Daisy, darling!

With Christian, Heterosexual Love,
Elizabeth

[Alvin Moss]

Re: How to Ward off a Dangerous Negro

I find that the efficacy of a large caliber revolver is unmatched when dealing with any unsaved wretch who may present himself, as well as dangerous dogs and other animals.

[James Hutchins]

Re: How to Ward off a Dangerous Negro

As you all know, I have a strong policy on working with the negroids. After many years of dealing with them, I've found the simplest things work best. Like dogs, you must keep the number of commands you use to a minimum and hand signs work with the really illiterate ones.
At the end of each day, I have them herded back into the 'Employee Holding area' (a large concertina wire pen) wire a sign that says 'Chicken and Cell Phones'. They are entraned by the show.

Here is my boy, 'Petey', one of the best negroid wrangler I have.



If the sign work does not do it, I have a red and blue flashing light on my Hummer. That makes them 'rabbit' like a 14 year old car thief.

[Alvin Moss]

Re: How to Ward off a Dangerous Negro

Brother, I suspect that while Petey may identify as a Negroe, he is, in fact, Caucasian.

[Daisy Mae Johnson]

Re: How to Ward off a Dangerous Negro

Brother, I suspect that while Petey may identify as a Negroe, he is, in fact, Caucasian.

But just look at him manhandle that sign!

[Witch Hammer]

Re: How to Ward off a Dangerous Negro

Tip: as an added safety precaution against home invading negroe rapists, it doesn't hurt to leave a heaping pile of chitterlings and/or hog trotters laced with a fast acting poison out on the doorstep each night before going to bed, and pies containing improvised nail grenades with motion-sensitive detonators* on all ground level window sills. An ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure.

*PM me for schematics!

[Alvin Moss]

Re: How to Ward off a Dangerous Negro

But just look at him manhandle that sign!

That man may identify as a Negroe, thus his spastic dancing, but I have to say that if he were employed by me as a sign holder, he would be beaten. You can't read the sign with all those gyrations.

[Mary Etheldreda]

Re: How to Ward off a Dangerous Negro

If Petey is a negro wrangler, his job is to subdue the negroidal spirit, and teach it to be a beast of burden, not a burden on society. It looks as if he does it by first mesmerizing the the negro. Perhaps then an accomplice offers fried chicken, or on a hot day, juicy watermelon. One of my sons was interested in the wrangling life, but it just looks so dangerous to me. I know God is in control of all things, but as a mother, I don't like to see my children hurt. And a bite from a negro can be septic. You just never know what they've been into.