Tweet
I apologize for not posting for a while, but my Benefactrix (as she has suggested I refer to her) placed an ad in your Craigslist for ½ OFF! All Lawnmower Service and Repair! One Day Service Guaranteed! And the response has been a bit overwhelming. This is not how I expected to spend my mission from The Future! And it is definitely not working out the way the Dedicated Intrepid Christian Knights in Space described it to me before they stripped me nude and placed me in the Temporal Upset Reassignment Device. But I shall not be deterred! I shall persevere! I will keep The Lord and the True Christians™ here at Landover in my heart. But now I have to go. If my Benefactrix finds out I’m using her laptop instead of servicing the Toro 20067 Personal Pace with Electric Start that came in this morning, there could be . . . trouble.
-
A Faithful Servant of the Lord sent by God to help Save The Future!
Repent; or else I will come unto thee quickly, and will fight against them with the sword of my mouth. Revelation 2:16sigpicA MAN, A PLAN, A PLATFORM, A FORD TRUCK, SLEDGE! -
Re: The Present! is Difficult
Have you ever thought of behaving like a REAL Man for a change?Originally posted by Sledge Riprock View Post
You know, slap her around a bit and force her to get you a Beer?
Sister Talitha
Markswoman, Circumcisionist, Platinum Tither.
HE took the damsel by the hand, and said unto her, Talitha Cumi; which is,
being interpreted, Damsel, I say unto thee, arise!...Mark 5:41
-
Re: The Present! is Difficult
Just a danged blamed minute here! I recognize this writing. Back when I was usnsaved and a pervert, I used to read science fiction. That's L. Ron. Hubbard writing!Matthew:
5:17 Think not that I am come to destroy the law, or the prophets: I am not come to destroy, but to fulfil.
5:18 For verily I say unto you, Till heaven and earth pass, one jot or one tittle shall in no wise pass from the law, till all be fulfilled
10:21 And the brother shall deliver up the brother to death, and the father the child: and the children shall rise up against their parents, and cause them to be put to death.
10:34 Think not that I am come to send peace on earth: I came not to send peace, but a sword.
sigpicComment
-
Re: The Present! is Difficult
You used to be a pervert? Did you tap your foot once or twice at public bathrooms? How did you find your way to rightousness?Originally posted by eliot mayfield View PostsigpicComment
-
Re: The Present! is Difficult
Do a search in the introductions and read the entire sorrid story.Originally posted by Jez4HeyZeuz View PostMatthew:
5:17 Think not that I am come to destroy the law, or the prophets: I am not come to destroy, but to fulfil.
5:18 For verily I say unto you, Till heaven and earth pass, one jot or one tittle shall in no wise pass from the law, till all be fulfilled
10:21 And the brother shall deliver up the brother to death, and the father the child: and the children shall rise up against their parents, and cause them to be put to death.
10:34 Think not that I am come to send peace on earth: I came not to send peace, but a sword.
sigpicComment
-
Re: The Present! is Difficult
Excellent. I will. I'm getting a little sick of my own stench of perversion, the fumes from my oozing slut cave are really getting to me.Originally posted by eliot mayfield View Post
Does it have anything to do with that midget demon the umlaut?sigpicComment
-
Re: The Present! is Difficult
What are you going on about. You need to forget about this, this slutitude! If you want to serve someone, serve the Lord and Master of us all! You must believe in order to be saved.Matthew:
5:17 Think not that I am come to destroy the law, or the prophets: I am not come to destroy, but to fulfil.
5:18 For verily I say unto you, Till heaven and earth pass, one jot or one tittle shall in no wise pass from the law, till all be fulfilled
10:21 And the brother shall deliver up the brother to death, and the father the child: and the children shall rise up against their parents, and cause them to be put to death.
10:34 Think not that I am come to send peace on earth: I came not to send peace, but a sword.
sigpicComment
-
Re: The Present! is Difficult
Do you think if I prayed really hard I could get a little stigmata and be born again?Originally posted by eliot mayfield View Post
Now, understand, I come from a Catholic background and have some Jew in me, so I'm not sure whether Jesus would welcome me with open arms.
I think the only way for me to know he truly wants me is through stigmata
. Could you pray for some stigmata for me?
sigpicComment
-
Re: The Present! is Difficult
If you are just here to tease and have fun, then you're at the wrong place. This is a church of the Lord.Originally posted by Jez4HeyZeuz View PostDo you think if I prayed really hard I could get a little stigmata and be born again?
Now, understand, I come from a Catholic background and have some Jew in me, so I'm not sure whether Jesus would welcome me with open arms.
I think the only way for me to know he truly wants me is through stigmata. Could you pray for some stigmata for me?
If you're serious about being saved, this is the place.Matthew:
5:17 Think not that I am come to destroy the law, or the prophets: I am not come to destroy, but to fulfil.
5:18 For verily I say unto you, Till heaven and earth pass, one jot or one tittle shall in no wise pass from the law, till all be fulfilled
10:21 And the brother shall deliver up the brother to death, and the father the child: and the children shall rise up against their parents, and cause them to be put to death.
10:34 Think not that I am come to send peace on earth: I came not to send peace, but a sword.
sigpicComment
-
Re: The Present! is Difficult
Originally posted by eliot mayfield View Post
I am serious, Brother Mayfield. I am lost. I need instruction.sigpicComment
-
Re: The Present! is Difficult
You must open your heart to Jesus!Matthew:
5:17 Think not that I am come to destroy the law, or the prophets: I am not come to destroy, but to fulfil.
5:18 For verily I say unto you, Till heaven and earth pass, one jot or one tittle shall in no wise pass from the law, till all be fulfilled
10:21 And the brother shall deliver up the brother to death, and the father the child: and the children shall rise up against their parents, and cause them to be put to death.
10:34 Think not that I am come to send peace on earth: I came not to send peace, but a sword.
sigpicComment
-
Re: The Present! is Difficult
Yes, Brother, but it's not my heart I'm worried aboutOriginally posted by eliot mayfield View Post
sigpicComment
-
Re: The Present! is Difficult
We're offering you the chance at salvation. Are you interested or not? Do you want to go to paradise and live in eternal bliss, or to Hell and eternal agony?Matthew:
5:17 Think not that I am come to destroy the law, or the prophets: I am not come to destroy, but to fulfil.
5:18 For verily I say unto you, Till heaven and earth pass, one jot or one tittle shall in no wise pass from the law, till all be fulfilled
10:21 And the brother shall deliver up the brother to death, and the father the child: and the children shall rise up against their parents, and cause them to be put to death.
10:34 Think not that I am come to send peace on earth: I came not to send peace, but a sword.
sigpicComment
-
Re: The Present! is Difficult
Originally posted by eliot mayfield View Post
Bliss, Brother, I pick Bliss! But could you be a little more specific, please? How does a sorry slut like me open her black heart to the Lord?sigpicComment
-
Matthew:
5:17 Think not that I am come to destroy the law, or the prophets: I am not come to destroy, but to fulfil.
5:18 For verily I say unto you, Till heaven and earth pass, one jot or one tittle shall in no wise pass from the law, till all be fulfilled
10:21 And the brother shall deliver up the brother to death, and the father the child: and the children shall rise up against their parents, and cause them to be put to death.
10:34 Think not that I am come to send peace on earth: I came not to send peace, but a sword.
sigpicComment
Comment