X
 
  • Time
  • Show
Clear All
new posts
  • Rachael Van Helsing
    HEATHEN — Suspected Witch
    • Sep 2006
    • 5131

    #16
    Re: The Blasphemy challenge!

    No thanks, I get quite enough christian lecturing already, thankyou very much.

    Anyway, aren't we somewhat offtopic?
    sigpic
    Wake up and smell the 21st Century!!

    Comment

    • Pastor Al E Pistle
      Christ's Cōnsiliārius
       
      • Sep 2006
      • 9323

      #17
      Re: The Blasphemy challenge!

      Originally posted by see_the_light View Post
      Is Rachael trully possessed or
      There is no "OR". She's two breasts short of a bucket of chicken. The extra thighs don't count. (snicker).
      Emeritus Professor of the Christ Jesus Chair of Theology at Landover Baptist University.
      "God loves you. Let us arrange for you to meet Him".
      Break their teeth, O God, in their mouth.--Psalms 58:6


      Comment

      • Daisy Mae Johnson
        The Future Mrs. Ezekiel Flint
        Voted Best Pies in Freehold 10 Years Running
        aka the Biblethumpin Blonde
        True Christian™
        • Sep 2006
        • 15708

        #18
        Re: The Blasphemy challenge!

        Originally posted by Rachael Van Helsing View Post

        Sorry, Sister Thumper, but you can't sue me, because if that happened it's a sure sign of your desk being improperly padded. That's a healthy an safety hazard, that is. You'd better hope that your lawyers don't see that, or you'll get sued for reckless endangerment.
        *snicker*
        Oh I DON'T THINK SO!

        You won't be getting off that easy Missy! Be expecting a call from my lawyers. Kanwee, Cheatum and Howe tomorrow! You willfully tried to KILL ME!

        Originally posted by Pastor Al E Pistle View Post
        There is no "OR". She's two breasts short of a bucket of chicken. The extra thighs don't count. (snicker).
        <Giggles>

        do Cankles count as part of the leg? She has extra bigguns.
        sigpic

        Tweet me Here
        My GODLY Bio Here

        Comment

        • Rachael Van Helsing
          HEATHEN — Suspected Witch
          • Sep 2006
          • 5131

          #19
          Re: The Blasphemy challenge!

          Originally posted by Pastor Al E Pistle View Post
          There is no "OR". She's two breasts short of a bucket of chicken. The extra thighs don't count. (snicker).
          Well, I see mister grumpy adding a MEAN remark.
          You know, Pastor, I think they make a Metamucil Plus these days.

          You won't be getting off that easy Missy! Be expecting a call from my lawyers. Canwe, Cheatum and Howe tomorrow! You willfully tried to KILL ME!
          Sister Thumper, your net provider should have provided you with a list of proper padding requirements when you connected to the net. Because some things on the net can be all haiwy scawy.
          It isn't my fault you didn't properly cushion your workspace. Hey, you want to endanger yourself, your call. Maybe this is a sign to get that padding there ASAP.
          sigpic
          Wake up and smell the 21st Century!!

          Comment

          • OnYourKnees
            On Extended Furlough
            True Christian™
            • Nov 2006
            • 4729

            #20
            Re: The Blasphemy challenge!

            Originally posted by Rachael Van Helsing View Post
            No thanks, I get quite enough christian lecturing already, thankyou very much.

            Anyway, aren't we somewhat offtopic?
            For once, Van Heathen has a point. Other than that atop her Master's HORNS.

            We were discussing that vile website and what manner of promises Satan might have made these purported atheists to get people to cast their own souls into eternal damnation for a free DVD and the 15 minutes of YouTube fame that Andy Warhol predicted.

            Was Andy Warhol a visionary, a prophet, a perverted Satanist, or all three?

            Comment

            • Pastor Ezekiel
              Putting the "stud" back in Bible Study
               
              • Sep 2006
              • 78556

              #21
              Re: The Blasphemy challenge!

              Originally posted by OnYourKnees View Post
              Was Andy Warhol a visionary, a prophet, a perverted Satanist, or all three?
              That albino Andy Warthol was a homer and a papist dog. According to DOF sources....


              Religious beliefs
              Warhol regularly volunteered at homeless shelters in New York, particularly during the busier times of the year, and described himself as a religious person. Many of his later works contain almost hidden religious themes or subjects, and a body of religious-themed works was found posthumously in his estate. Warhol also regularly attended Mass during his life, and the pastor of his Byzantine Rite Catholic church, Saint Vincent's, reports that he visited the church almost daily.

              Warhol's brother has described the artist as "really religious, but he didn't want people to know about that because [it was] private." Despite the private nature of his faith, in Warhol's eulogy John Richardson depicted it as devout: "To my certain knowledge, he was responsible for at least one conversion. He took considerable pride in financing his nephew's studies for the priesthood."
              See? The mary-worshiper Warthol is writhing in hellfire even as we speak.
              Who Will Jesus Damn?

              Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

              Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

              Need Pastoral Advice? Contact me privately at PastorEzekiel@landoverbaptist.net TODAY!!

              Comment

              • demoncrat
                Deranged lieberal who hates Jesus
                • Nov 2006
                • 79

                #22
                Re: The Blasphemy challenge!

                Originally posted by Pastor Ezekiel View Post
                Like all demoncrats, this one is a tool. It worships its evil mistress Hellary Cliton, and spends its every waking moment spitting on Jesus.

                Unlike all demoncrats, this one seems incapable of carrying on a conversation beyond posting a simplistic website designed to persecute True Christianity™. Usually these creatures never stop talking. Perhaps this one has been struck dumb by our benevolent God.

                We can post websites for you to ponder as well. Try THIS one on for size, hatemonger!
                God is just make-believe like Santa Claus.

                Comment

                • Brother Temperance
                  Senior Usher
                  True Christian™ missionary to the Unsaved Kingdom
                  A very nice young man
                  True Christian™
                  • Sep 2006
                  • 15621

                  #23
                  Re: The Blasphemy challenge!

                  Originally posted by Rachael Van Helsing View Post
                  Sorry, Sister Thumper, but you can't sue me, because if that happened it's a sure sign of your desk being improperly padded. That's a healthy an safety hazard, that is. You'd better hope that your lawyers don't see that, or you'll get sued for reckless endangerment.
                  *snicker*
                  You are also guilty of attempted homicide against yourself:
                  Acts 18:6 And when they opposed themselves, and blasphemed, he shook his raiment, and said unto them, Your blood be upon your own heads; I am clean; from henceforth I will go unto the Gentiles.

                  When you blaspheme, you take responsibility for your own death. And make no mistake, it is a death:
                  Revelation 21:8 But the fearful, and unbelieving, and the abominable, and murderers, and whoremongers, and sorcerers, and idolaters, and all liars, shall have their part in the lake which burneth with fire and brimstone: which is the second death.

                  You've earned your place in the Lake of Fire on several counts.
                  O Lord our God, help us to tear their soldiers to bloody shreds with our shells; help us to cover their smiling fields with the pale forms of their patriot dead; help us to drown the thunder of the guns with the shrieks of their wounded, writhing in pain; help us to lay waste their humble homes with a hurricane of fire; help us to wring the hearts of their unoffending widows with unavailing grief; help us to turn them out roofless with little children to wander unfriended the wastes of their desolated land in rags and hunger and thirst, sports of the sun flames of summer and the icy winds of winter, broken in spirit, worn with travail, imploring Thee for the refuge of the grave and denied it--for our sakes who adore Thee, Lord, blast their hopes, blight their lives, protract their bitter pilgrimage, make heavy their steps, water their way with their tears, stain the white snow with the blood of their wounded feet! We ask it, in the spirit of love, of Him Who is the Source of Love, and Who is the ever-faithful refuge and friend of all that are sore beset and seek His aid with humble and contrite hearts. Amen.



                  God being truth, justice, goodness, beauty, power, and life, man is falsehood, iniquity, evil, ugliness, impotence, and death. God being master, man is the slave. Incapable of finding justice, truth, and eternal life by his own effort, he can attain them only through a divine revelation... he who desires to worship God must harbor no childish illusions about the matter, but bravely renounce his liberty and humanity.

                  Comment

                  • Pastor Ezekiel
                    Putting the "stud" back in Bible Study
                     
                    • Sep 2006
                    • 78556

                    #24
                    Re: The Blasphemy challenge!

                    Originally posted by demoncrat View Post
                    God is just make-believe like Santa Claus.
                    Wow! A complete sentence! Good work, heathen.

                    Now, can you PROVE your assertion?
                    Who Will Jesus Damn?

                    Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

                    Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

                    Need Pastoral Advice? Contact me privately at PastorEzekiel@landoverbaptist.net TODAY!!

                    Comment

                    • see_the_light
                      True Christian™
                      True Christian™
                      • Nov 2006
                      • 1386

                      #25
                      Re: The Blasphemy challenge!

                      Originally posted by demoncrat View Post
                      God is just make-believe like Santa Claus.

                      AHHH! But Santa-Claus is also REAL, In disguise but real, IT IS SATAN!

                      PRAISE THE LORD!

                      Comment

                      • demoncrat
                        Deranged lieberal who hates Jesus
                        • Nov 2006
                        • 79

                        #26
                        Re: The Blasphemy challenge!

                        Originally posted by Pastor Ezekiel View Post
                        Wow! A complete sentence! Good work, heathen.

                        Now, can you PROVE your assertion?
                        No, I just have blind faith.

                        Comment

                        • Pastor Ezekiel
                          Putting the "stud" back in Bible Study
                           
                          • Sep 2006
                          • 78556

                          #27
                          Re: The Blasphemy challenge!

                          Originally posted by demoncrat View Post
                          No, I just have blind faith.
                          Oh, I'm sorry. I didn't realize that you were blind, as well as being a filthy unsaved heathen. Jesus hates you for that too. Read the (braille) KJV Bible and see for yourself:

                          God makes people blind.

                          "Who maketh the dumb, or deaf, or the seeing, or the blind? have not I the LORD?" -- Exodus 4:11

                          And he'll make you blind too if you don't follow the Old Testament's laws.

                          "The LORD shall smite thee with madness, and blindness, and astonishment of heart." -- Deuteronomy 28:28

                          Blind people cannot approach the altar of God.

                          "Whosoever ... hath any blemish, let him not approach to offer the bread of his God. For whatsoever man he be that hath a blemish, he shall not approach: a blind man, or a lame, or he that hath a flat nose, or any thing superfluous, Or a man that is brokenfooted, or brokenhanded, Or crookbackt, or a dwarf, or that hath a blemish in his eye, or be scurvy, or scabbed, or hath his stones broken; No man that hath a blemish of the seed of Aaron the priest shall come nigh to offer the offerings of the LORD made by fire: he hath a blemish; he shall not come nigh to offer the bread of his God. ... Only he shall not go in unto the vail, nor come nigh unto the altar, because he hath a blemish; that he profane not my sanctuaries." -- Leviticus 21:17-23
                          Who Will Jesus Damn?

                          Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

                          Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

                          Need Pastoral Advice? Contact me privately at PastorEzekiel@landoverbaptist.net TODAY!!

                          Comment

                          • Rachael Van Helsing
                            HEATHEN — Suspected Witch
                            • Sep 2006
                            • 5131

                            #28
                            Re: The Blasphemy challenge!

                            Originally posted by Brother Temperance View Post
                            You are also guilty of attempted homicide against yourself:
                            Acts 18:6 And when they opposed themselves, and blasphemed, he shook his raiment, and said unto them, Your blood be upon your own heads; I am clean; from henceforth I will go unto the Gentiles.

                            When you blaspheme, you take responsibility for your own death. And make no mistake, it is a death:
                            Revelation 21:8 But the fearful, and unbelieving, and the abominable, and murderers, and whoremongers, and sorcerers, and idolaters, and all liars, shall have their part in the lake which burneth with fire and brimstone: which is the second death.

                            You've earned your place in the Lake of Fire on several counts.
                            Just as well for me that it doesn't exist then, eh?
                            But that does bring to light a question I have for some of the Pastors here. Just why would the 'fearful' be thrown in as well? What does the bible find so terrible about being afraid?
                            sigpic
                            Wake up and smell the 21st Century!!

                            Comment

                            • see_the_light
                              True Christian™
                              True Christian™
                              • Nov 2006
                              • 1386

                              #29
                              Re: The Blasphemy challenge!

                              Originally posted by Rachael Van Helsing View Post
                              Just as well for me that it doesn't exist then, eh?
                              But that does bring to light a question I have for some of the Pastors here. Just why would the 'fearful' be thrown in as well? What does the bible find so terrible about being afraid?
                              The Bible only accepts FEAR OF GOD (and of one's father who rules at home in is steed)

                              Fear of anything else would render impossible a TRUE AND FULL DEVOTION TO OUR LORD.

                              Comment

                              • Rachael Van Helsing
                                HEATHEN — Suspected Witch
                                • Sep 2006
                                • 5131

                                #30
                                Re: The Blasphemy challenge!

                                I'd still like to see what one of these Pastors has to say on the matter. They seem to think they know everything, well, I'd like to see their take on it.
                                sigpic
                                Wake up and smell the 21st Century!!

                                Comment

                                Working...