[Cranky Old Man]

Re: I can't help but want Jesus inside of me. 😳

We certainly didn't have any locks on any of the doors in my home when I was growing up.

We didn't even have doors in my home when I was an annoying little brat. My father used to say that if you spend money on needless luxuries like doors, you are stealing money from Jesus you should have tithed instead. He died refusing to spend any money on food after Jimmy Carter caused an increase in the price of beef, so I am certain my father is now in Heaven.

[DolliMoans]

Re: I can't help but want Jesus inside of me. 😳

You're father was a genius, Cranky Old Man. Without doors, why, there's nothing for Jesus that needs knocking on. Saves our Saviour so much hassle!

Truly a home without doors, brings in the ... (Oh, I forgot how this saying goes... anyone know?)

[Dana723]

Re: I can't help but want Jesus inside of me. 😳

You're father was a genius, Cranky Old Man. Without doors, why, there's nothing for Jesus that needs knocking on. Saves our Saviour so much hassle!

Truly a home without doors, brings in the ... (Oh, I forgot how this saying goes... anyone know?)

Floors? I guess doors go with floors.

[Adam Fag]

Re: I can't help but want Jesus inside of me. 😳

Mister Faith Machine, it's funny you say that because my Pa said that to me when I was screaming praise of Jesus in my bedroom (which I keep locked as it's private prayer time between the Lord and I). We don't have hot showers in my house as my father forbids them (something about how hot showers promote satanic temptation). Where may I go to get a waterproof KJV Bible? I'm definitely interested!

http://www.billionbibles.com/china/project-pearl.html

[Adam Fag]

Re: I can't help but want Jesus inside of me. 😳

Mister Faith Machine, it's funny you say that because my Pa said that to me when I was screaming praise of Jesus in my bedroom (which I keep locked as it's private prayer time between the Lord and I). We don't have hot showers in my house as my father forbids them (something about how hot showers promote satanic temptation). Where may I go to get a waterproof KJV Bible? I'm definitely interested!

[Vengeance Puriel]

Re: I can't help but want Jesus inside of me. 😳

________________


BibleReader2231,

Dear, what you should worry about is your hierarchy within our Bronze and Iron Age thinking King James bible where you are to be submissive to ALL Christian men like myself!

My "slopes" are NEVER slippery as shown ad infinitum within my godly posts! How dare you be so insolent to the superior Christian biblical man like myself?!

If there is any praying to do, it is me praying for your Hell bound soul to burn quickly when you arrive within the sulfur lakes of HELL upon your lesser vessel womanly demise.

AS A MERE WOMAN, LEARN YOUR PLACE WITHIN JESUS' SCHEME OF THINGS!!!



In the name of the hung Savior,

Brother D. Thomas


__________________

Really your a forum member I don't see True Christian by your name you claim your all high and mighty , but here at Landover titles are everything. High on something but I guarantee its not Gods word.

[BibleReader2231]

Re: I can't help but want Jesus inside of me. 😳

Update time! After visiting DC for the Fourth of July parade, the Uber paid for by Brother Larry being driven by his ex gay friends have taken a detour to godless Boston Massachusetts. Sister Dana, I also have a message for you from your son Matthew via my Uber drivers “don’t worry Mom! My new friends are going to teach me valuable baseball skills! Soon I’ll be a pitcher and a catcher”. It sounds as if he’s having a fun summer vacation. No idea where he is or what he looks like. Maybe we’ll cross paths? Anywho, I just want to be home already but I know better than to complain. It’s the Christian way to wait and trust. I just know I’ll be home soon.

[Joanna Lytton-Vasey]

Re: I can't help but want Jesus inside of me. 😳

Really your a forum member I don't see True Christian by your name you claim your all high and mighty , but here at Landover titles are everything. High on something but I guarantee its not Gods word.

VP, by the same token, you are in no position to criticize Mr Thomas, who has been a member of these forums since 2013.

I would also point out that Mr Thomas is a man and BibleReader is an unmarried and hapless woman. Men of whatever status outrank women of the same status. I hope that helps, dear?

[Chubsy-Wubsy]

Re: I can't help but want Jesus inside of me. 😳

I fear that when I turn 18 I will be preyed upon by satanic temptation. I am still pure and intend to stay this way for my future husband whoever that may be. Can you maybe help me figure out what it is I am missing? I relish knowing Jesus is inside of me but I want MORE.

Girl, I get that feeling. It's perfectly normal for you to desire sex with Jesus as the Parable of 10 virgins suggest. Where was that? Google suggests it was Matthew 25:1-13.


....
....
And while they went to buy, the bridegroom came; and they that were ready went in with him to the marriage: and the door was shut.
11 Afterward came also the other virgins, saying, Lord, Lord, open to us.
12 But he answered and said, Verily I say unto you, I know you not.



(p.s. - I wouldn't want a virgin for myself as it's too messy. I hate the sight of blood.)


I'd say you should rather desire of coitus with Jesus than an incubus/demon which is unfortunately my present condition (succubus in my case). Sex is normal and healthy and I'm sure there will be LOTS OF sex in Heaven when I get there.

I want him to fill me to the brim with his wisdom and guidance. I want to give my body and soul to Jesus so he can do whatever he wants to with me.

Don't flatter yourself. I don't think you'd make good wife material to the mortal men anyway. Stick to Jesus and stay a virgin for him. And I'm not saying it to be mean but to be helpful.


YIC,
Chubbs

[Dana723]

Re: I can't help but want Jesus inside of me. 😳

Update time! After visiting DC for the Fourth of July parade, the Uber paid for by Brother Larry being driven by his ex gay friends have taken a detour to godless Boston Massachusetts. Sister Dana, I also have a message for you from your son Matthew via my Uber drivers “don’t worry Mom! My new friends are going to teach me valuable baseball skills! Soon I’ll be a pitcher and a catcher”. It sounds as if he’s having a fun summer vacation. No idea where he is or what he looks like. Maybe we’ll cross paths? Anywho, I just want to be home already but I know better than to complain. It’s the Christian way to wait and trust. I just know I’ll be home soon.

My boy always did like baseball! What does he look like? Well, he looks like a perfect young white Christian male of course! A veritable young Donald Trump!