Season's Greetings from Scotland!

[Harsha Shah]

Yes, it is Harsha Shah, yes. I am happy to to be having some holiday time to be writing here. I am extremely busy. But everything is changa. We are working very hard with the national party SNP to free Scotland and join the EU. Yes, this season we are very optimistic that we are going to be having a referendum soon and that we are going to be winning, yes. I am hoping that this is not offending you.

I am celebrating christmas with Father christmas and lots of presents and our traditional christmas foods that is dal curry and chapati but also machi chips to honour our English past, yes, and we are watching some documentaries about India. Yes. I am very astonished because the Sikh are performing miracles every day. They are feeding 100,000 people every day with donations and that is every day, yes. It is being done every day and that is 20 times more than your Jesus and he only was doing it once. I am hoping that he is not offending you, yes.

There are going to be changes in independent Scotland and we are doing preparations. We are going to be abandoning English gradually and replacing it with other official languages, that is going to be Gaelic that I am learning and Norn and Scots and Hinglish. Yes, I am now proudly writing in Hinglish. I am using it when I am teaching as well. We are all going to be eating desi foods and being a haramzada is going to be illegal. My would-be is Angrez but he is learning Hinglish very well, yes. We are expecting freshie refugees from England, they may be jungli at first but they are going to be our dear yaars. Yes. I am wishing you all Happy Holidays. Yes.

[Faith_Machine]

Re: Season's Greetings from Scotland!

My dear lost, confused, naive lamb, how I long to see you brought safely into the fold, that you may know Jesus' infinite love.

I want to see you on your knees, praising Him!

[Harsha Shah]

Re: Season's Greetings from Scotland!

My dear lost, confused, naive lamb, how I long to see you brought safely into the fold, that you may know Jesus' infinite love.

I want to see you on your knees, praising Him!

Yes, Mr. Machine. I am very sorry if I was offending you my very dear and admirable yaar. I am hoping, yes, that you will be seeing past my religious affiliation to the ahimsa that I am promoting and that you will one day be visiting our new free Scotland, Yes. I am hoping that I am not offending you but you will be needing either a Hinglish or a Gaelic phrasebook. Yes.

[Faith_Machine]

Re: Season's Greetings from Scotland!

I don't know who Scotland is going to survive without the UK providing "the dole" so its drunkard citizens can eat and have roofs over their heads, but never mind that.

What's important here is I've found a new communication platform, known as Kik Messenger.

Would you kindly make yourself an account on Kik and then forward to me your Kik details?

I would love to talk further with you about Jesus' glorious plan for your life!

(Hint: It doesn't involve weird religions or languages)

[Cranky Old Man]

Re: Season's Greetings from Scotland!

Europe already has a rediculous number of useless countries. Only a European can be stupid enough to think adding one more is a good idea.

[Isabella White]

Re: Season's Greetings from Scotland!

Oh, dear Miss Shah: What a lovely surprise to hear from you! Your visit to confirms that you have a hunger for the Things of . It is very pleasing to know that you have reached out to us once again. I am confident that it will be no time before you will have abandoned your rebellious, wayward instincts and will have turned your life over, entirely, to the as your one and only , forsaking your current association with whatever bound mumbo-jumbo is of a current obsession.

Now, Dear, I do hope that will not mind my giving a bit of correction to you here, but whenever one refers to , mas, ians, etc., the "C" is always to be capitalized. We make no exceptions, especially when one is posting messages to believers at 's blessed .

Now, then, as for your mas dinner, I'm afraid that none of that which you've outlined really falls in line with a true mas dinner. Surely, you've heard of Green Beans Almondine, Sweet Potatoes with Marshmallow Topping to accompany the traditional turkey, gravy and stuffing? Chapati and machi chips (whatever they are) sound like something that Satan would use to distract you from your inner true desire to find the at mas.

That aside, I do wish you a most blessed mas, and it is my hope and prayer that your next message will be to inform us that you have humbled yourself before Almighty.

James 4:10 "Humble yourselves in the sight of the Lord, and he shall lift you up."

Sincerely, Isabella W.

[Johny Joe Hold]

Re: Season's Greetings from Scotland!

An independent Scotland sounds suspicious. Any country where men wear skirts needs supervision.

We already see problems with Sarahara. She is promoting Curry at Christmas. Turkey and mashed taters are the only dishes that go with the birth of Baby Jesus.