Landover Pastors Invited: Pebble Beach Golf Tournament!

[Rev. Jim Osborne]

My dear brother Pastors of Landover,

You are hereby invited to attend a truly wonderful and spirtually-filled weekend at the world-famous Pebble Beach Golf Course on the shores overlooking the gorgeous Pacific Ocean! The event lasts from July 24-26, 2009.

Come join fellow Bible-believing Pastors from around the nation for fellowship and praising Our Lord Jesus Christ. Our Keynote speaker is the host of PTL's ratings-drawing televangelist hour: "Jesus Wants YOU! to Succeed", the beloved and charismatic Rev. Jake Delmachiavelli. (Don't let his guinea surname fool you...he is deeply and commitedly anti-papist!) Rev. Jake will be giving a sermon entitled "Bible Verses Where Jesus Demands You Tithe" which will kick-off a fun-filled, spiritually fulfilling weekend on the gorgeous and temperate Northern California Coast.


All invited pastors will have...

• All-expense paid, round trip on a private luxury Learjet™.
• 4 days/3 nights in the Grand Royal Suite at Pebble Beach's Ritz-Carlton, complete with indoor hot tub, mini-bar, all-expenses-paid room service and pay-per-view programs for the discerning adult connoisseur.
• Limousine transportation to and from the Hotel to the Golf Course, with your own private, respectful, polite Negro valet.
• $2000 Gift Certificate (for the wives) that is usable at any Louis Vuitton, Versace, Cartier, and related stores in the Pebble Beach Shopping District.
• And most importantly: A chance for fellowship and praising Jesus for giving us such wonderful gifts in life!

Please RSVP no later than June 30.

We would like to thank our faithful and loyal television viewers whose generous donations has made this golf tournament possible.

Sincerely,
Rev. Jim Osborne

PS - Pastor Zeke, Rev. Jake tells me you've become quite the Arnold Palmer of the Christian golfing world! He also told me that Pastor Al slices more often than he should and that Pastor Billy-Reuben is excellent on long approaches but chokes when he putts. (But you didn't hear that from me!)

[James Hutchins]

Re: Landover Pastors Invited: Pebble Beach Golf Tournament!

I'll be trucking in supplies, so be sure to drop off anything you want brought to the tournament to the Landover Depot no later than noon on the 28th.

Reverend, I already boxed up that 'exercise' table of yours.

[Nobar King]

Re: Landover Pastors Invited: Pebble Beach Golf Tournament!

What's the catch, Jim? How did you swing this wild party?

[Rev. Jim Osborne]

Re: Landover Pastors Invited: Pebble Beach Golf Tournament!

I'll be trucking in supplies, so be sure to drop off anything you want brought to the tournament to the Landover Depot no later than noon on the 28th.

Reverend, I already boxed up that 'exercise' table of yours.

Good work, Brother James. You didn't forget the "swing" either, I hope.

What's the catch, Jim? How did you swing this wild party?

Now, now, Brother Nobar. What's that old saying? "Never look a gift horse in the mouth?"

Now gentlemen...no takers yet? I thought you'd be lining up to take advantage of this truly incredible vacation Christian fellowship opportunity.

Perhaps some of you are bit wary of the Negro valets and chauffers? I admit, I get a little uneasy when a Negro handles my personal belongings, but rest assured they have all passed background checks and wear white cloth gloves at all times, so none of their Negro skin is actually touching your luggage.

I'm even arranging for the arrival of several, unsaved young girls age 18-20 from Thailand, Latvia, Hungary, and Brazil so that after a long days of golfing we can relax and personally witness to them and save their soul for Jesus Christ one-on-one in our hotel suites. Or, if you think you have the stamina left, witnessing for two or three girls at a time. It's your choice.

We must do this! We have to do this for Jesus!

[James Hutchins]

Re: Landover Pastors Invited: Pebble Beach Golf Tournament!

No Sir, I got that all protected in that bubble wrap you are so crazy about. The 'perishables are in the fridge at the warehouse.

[Professor Tyeisha X]

Re: Landover Pastors Invited: Pebble Beach Golf Tournament!

Perhaps some of you are bit wary of the Negro valets and chauffers? I admit, I get a little uneasy when a Negro handles my personal belongings, but rest assured they have all passed background checks and wear white cloth gloves at all times, so none of their Negro skin is actually touching your luggage.

You know, I really don't care if you racist, sexist, homophobe Christian pastors get together and play your racist, sexist, homophobe game, but I draw the line when you treat my brothers as servants. Rev. Jim, you do know it's not 1965 anymore, right??? The word "Negro" is an outdated, racist term. The good Rev. Jesse Jackson coined the acceptable label "African-American", and I demand that you use that word for now on.

As for the cloth gloves, this is absolutely insipid. You truly are a century behind in your thinking. You live in a warped illusionary world where Driving Miss Daisy is a fact of life for you.

Don't think that I am simply just tossing little warnings out haphazardly: I mean what I say! Pebble Beach is not far from Berkeley, and I am already rounding up my contacts and fellow Freedom Fighters to stage a protest against your racist exploitation of African-American workers.

I'll see you at the golf course July 24, racist....and I won't be bringing any golf clubs. Just lots and lots of picket signs!

[Pastor Ezekiel]

Re: Landover Pastors Invited: Pebble Beach Golf Tournament!

You know, I really don't care if you racist, sexist, homophobe Christian pastors get together and play your racist, sexist, homophobe game, but I draw the line when you treat my brothers as servants. Rev. Jim, you do know it's not 1965 anymore, right??? The word "Negro" is an outdated, racist term. The good Rev. Jesse Jackson coined the acceptable label "African-American", and I demand that you use that word for now on.

As for the cloth gloves, this is absolutely insipid. You truly are a century behind in your thinking. You live in a warped illusionary world where Driving Miss Daisy is a fact of life for you.

Don't think that I am simply just tossing little warnings out haphazardly: I mean what I say! Pebble Beach is not far from Berkeley, and I am already rounding up my contacts and fellow Freedom Fighters to stage a protest against your racist exploitation of African-American workers.

I'll see you at the golf course July 24, racist....and I won't be bringing any golf clubs. Just lots and lots of picket signs!

You won't get within 500 miles of the place. We have taken....measures.

[Miss April]

Re: Landover Pastors Invited: Pebble Beach Golf Tournament!

You know, I really don't care if you racist, sexist, homophobe Christian pastors get together and play your racist, sexist, homophobe game, but I draw the line when you treat my brothers as servants. Rev. Jim, you do know it's not 1965 anymore, right??? The word "Negro" is an outdated, racist term. The good Rev. Jesse Jackson coined the acceptable label "Vavoline Johnson-American", and I demand that you use that word for now on.

As for the cloth gloves, this is absolutely insipid. You truly are a century behind in your thinking. You live in a warped illusionary world where Driving Miss Daisy is a fact of life for you.

Don't think that I am simply just tossing little warnings out haphazardly: I mean what I say! Pebble Beach is not far from Berkeley, and I am already rounding up my contacts and fellow Freedom Fighters to stage a protest against your racist exploitation of African-American workers.

I'll see you at the golf course July 24, racist....and I won't be bringing any golf clubs. Just lots and lots of picket signs!

How Dare you Say that About Our Great Pastors You Stupid Nigro You know when you Try and show up The Good Pastors Will just call the Cops on your African Nigro Self Right? Why don't you Just give it up There's Nothing you can Do lady

[Tertius The Scribe]

Re: Landover Pastors Invited: Pebble Beach Golf Tournament!

You know, I really don't care if you racist, sexist, homophobe Christian pastors get together and play your racist, sexist, homophobe game, but I draw the line when you treat my brothers as servants. Rev. Jim, you do know it's not 1965 anymore, right??? The word "Negro" is an outdated, racist term. The good Rev. Jesse Jackson coined the acceptable label "African-American", and I demand that you use that word for now on.

As for the cloth gloves, this is absolutely insipid. You truly are a century behind in your thinking. You live in a warped illusionary world where Driving Miss Daisy is a fact of life for you.

Don't think that I am simply just tossing little warnings out haphazardly: I mean what I say! Pebble Beach is not far from Berkeley, and I am already rounding up my contacts and fellow Freedom Fighters to stage a protest against your racist exploitation of African-American workers.

I'll see you at the golf course July 24, racist....and I won't be bringing any golf clubs. Just lots and lots of picket signs!

Clearly you are the anti-negrist here! Driving Miss Daisy was the best thing to happen to you groids after Marter Luther King Junior getting assassinated, and you spit on it just as if it were God's face. You racist nigras are a deplorable type, all alike with your uppity jigabooing and overproportioned body parts and your fried fixins'. National Socialist scum like you are responsible for the world's troubles, and all you radical National Islamists do is set negro-kind back 6013 years.

I seriously recommend that you pick up an AV1611 KJV Bible today before God decides to smite you and the godless vacuum of "knowledge" and racial tolerance known as California by causing it to break off into the sea. (And then there goes the Democrat vote for Osambo in 2012!)

[Mad Prophet Helmholtz]

Re: Landover Pastors Invited: Pebble Beach Golf Tournament!

Attention Christian Pastors! I warn you of going to the Pebble Beach event! HOBO ASTROLOGER ONCE TOLD ME....Pebble Beach Golf Course actually a landing site for GREY ALIEN UFO DRONES. Greys have abducted ancient Mayans and Aztecs and keep them alive with FUTURE ALIEN FOUNTAIN OF YOUTH TECHNOLOGY FROM THE GEYSERS OF JUPITER MOON IO.

Pebble Beach Underground vast network of Aztec/Mayan tunnels and subway systems. Ancient Indian sacrifice performed to this day by coming out of golf holes and abducting golfers. TEN THOUSAND GOLFERS DISAPPEAR FROM PEBBLE BEACH BUT NO MEDIA MENTION OF IT AT ALL.

Truth be finally revealed JIMMY HOFFA AVID GOLFER sucked down the rabbit holes of Pebble Beach. HOFFA HEART USED FOR BIZARRE AZTEC RITUAL TO BLOCK OUT THE SUN AND CREATE MASSIVE LOW-FREQUENCY BUZZ TO MAKE HUMAN BRAINS EXPLODE.

STAY IN HOTELS! All those in hotels must watch pay-per-view porn and masturbate and the fruits of thy masturbation are not wasted upon the hotel room floor but instead transformed into the juice which powers TRUE GOLF on TV, not the Tiger Woods Freak Show but pure WHITE MEN DOMINATING GOLF FOREVER.

[Nobar King]

Re: Landover Pastors Invited: Pebble Beach Golf Tournament!

I don't know whether to go to Pebble Beach or stay away!?!?

[Professor Tyeisha X]

Re: Landover Pastors Invited: Pebble Beach Golf Tournament!

Bizarre Rambling Schizophrenic Rant

What the hell kind of drugs are YOU on??? Where did you come up with that....theory. Oh wait, I really don't want to know.

I saw your website. It's very valuable and insightful, especially for researchers of abnormal psychology!

We were both childs of the Sixties, but I at least got out of them with a clear, sane head on my shoulders. You've obviously dropped some bad acid at Woodstock and haven't recovered since. (Which might I mention to my readers, I did attend, not to "enjoy the music festival" but to PROTEST IT. I was greatly upset at the lack of AFRICAN-AMERICAN PERFORMERS at the event! Oh sure, they gave us Jimi, but he was just the Token Negro, we all know that.)

[Miss April]

Re: Landover Pastors Invited: Pebble Beach Golf Tournament!

What the hell kind of drugs are YOU on??? Where did you come up with that....theory. Oh wait, I really don't want to know.

I saw your website. It's very valuable and insightful, especially for researchers of abnormal psychology!

We were both childs of the Sixties, but I at least got out of them with a clear, sane head on my shoulders. You've obviously dropped some bad acid at Woodstock and haven't recovered since. (Which might I mention to my readers, I did attend, not to "enjoy the music festival" but to PROTEST IT. I was greatly upset at the lack of AFRICAN-AMERICAN PERFORMERS at the event! Oh sure, they gave us Jimi, but he was just the Token Negro, we all know that.)

How Dare you say that Wonderful Brother Mad Prophet Helmholtz Is not on drugs But I think you sure are on something Go Somewhere else you evil Lesbain your not welcame here Don't you see that?

[Mad Prophet Helmholtz]

Re: Landover Pastors Invited: Pebble Beach Golf Tournament!

I don't know whether to go to Pebble Beach or stay away!?!?

It will require some effort and concentration on my part. By utilizing seven radios wired together and receiving the static information from a modified Tesla Coil, I can access HIDDEN ASTRAL LIBRARY WRITTEN BY ASTRONAUTS OF ANCIENT GREECE. In these books, secret documents attributed to Homer deal with the METHODICAL RITUAL DESTRUCTION OF ALIEN AZTEC TEMPLES BY HOTEL/TRAVEL USAGE. I may have to take a journey to New Mexico again. There is an Indian Shaman there that has a necklace that allows you traverse across spacetime. I will get these books. AND I WILL BRING DOWN THE UNDERGROUND PEBBLE BEACH TEMPLES so that Good True Christian(tm) men can play golf in peace!!!

You've obviously dropped some bad acid at Woodstock and haven't recovered since. (Which might I mention to my readers, I did attend, not to "enjoy the music festival" but to PROTEST IT. I was greatly upset at the lack of AFRICAN-AMERICAN PERFORMERS at the event! Oh sure, they gave us Jimi, but he was just the Token Negro, we all know that.)

This is truly a bizarre coincidence. I REMEMBER YOU. I too, was at Woodstock. Now, like most people, I don't remember much about what happened at Woodstock, but I did remember bumping into you I think. You and like two other people (Wow, some protest!) and you were handing out fliers saying Woodstock was "racist" for not having enough Black musicians. I told you something like "Chill sister. They got Jimi here. He's out of sight! Just lay back and enjoy the music." Then you got all in my face (with your smelly Catfish breath) and went into some odd Marxist diatrebe. I did tell my hippie friend from Oregon, "Ravi Stardust" afterwards: "Man, that bitch is uptight! Someone needs to get her black ass stoned."

Small world huh? Can't believe I bump into your (still) uptight ass after nearly 40 years.

How Dare you say that Wonderful Brother Mad Prophet Helmholtz Is not on drugs But I think you sure are on something Go Somewhere else you evil Lesbain your not welcame here Don't you see that?

Thank you, Miss April.

[Miss April]

Re: Landover Pastors Invited: Pebble Beach Golf Tournament!

It will require some effort and concentration on my part. By utilizing seven radios wired together and receiving the static information from a modified Tesla Coil, I can access HIDDEN ASTRAL LIBRARY WRITTEN BY ASTRONAUTS OF ANCIENT GREECE. In these books, secret documents attributed to Homer deal with the METHODICAL RITUAL DESTRUCTION OF ALIEN AZTEC TEMPLES BY HOTEL/TRAVEL USAGE. I may have to take a journey to New Mexico again. There is an Indian Shaman there that has a necklace that allows you traverse across spacetime. I will get these books. AND I WILL BRING DOWN THE UNDERGROUND PEBBLE BEACH TEMPLES so that Good True Christian™ men can play golf in peace!!!



This is truly a bizarre coincidence. I REMEMBER YOU. I too, was at Woodstock. Now, like most people, I don't remember much about what happened at Woodstock, but I did remember bumping into you I think. You and like two other people (Wow, some protest!) and you were handing out fliers saying Woodstock was "racist" for not having enough Black musicians. I told you something like "Chill sister. They got Jimi here. He's out of sight! Just lay back and enjoy the music." Then you got all in my face (with your smelly Catfish breath) and went into some odd Marxist diatrebe. I did tell my hippie friend from Oregon, "Ravi Stardust" afterwards: "Man, that bitch is uptight! Someone needs to get her black ass stoned."

Small world huh? Can't believe I bump into your (still) uptight ass after nearly 40 years.



Thank you, Miss April.

Wow what a Story Brother I Just can't Believe Shes here On Our Godly Forums But I just wish she whould go somewhere else With her Racist Lesbain Crap but Your Very Welcame