Tampons and Maxi Pads

[Rachael Van Helsing]

Re: Tampons and Maxi Pads

Shut up.

Rheumatism acting up again, Pastor?

[Mrs. Rogers]

Re: Tampons and Maxi Pads

And how is a discussion on female bodily functions a male topic?

I would say that as women belong to men, the topic matter is very much male - not unlike a discussion about cars; proprietal, but less messy.

I am saddened to read that you, Mrs. HellBound, are a user of sickular sanitary products. I suggest ripping up an old sheet and stuffing it down your knickers when next you are Cursed© ... be sure to tightly pin both front and back though, or you'll be as bandy as a sailor - or Lilith after a sailor, come to think of it.

[Glendora Christianson]

Re: Tampons and Maxi Pads

I am a bit shocked that anyone would start such a disturbing thread on our main forum. But since our own Brother Hatchet created the thread, I must assume the Lord directed him to do so.

Anyway, Satan's Cotton Fingers are forbidden at LBC because they simulate sexual intercourse (forgive me Jesus) and mastur&ation at the same time. There are however some innocent uses for Tampons:

http://www.landoverbaptist.net/showpost.php?p=1020&postcount=8

And Sister Thumper has a delightful Christmas craft that can be made with Maxi Pads:

http://www.landoverbaptist.net/showpost.php?p=1122&postcount=9

But I must warn all ladies of Landover that we are on the lookout for gals who insult God and indulge in Satan's Cotton Fingers. And you are easy to spot . . . just look at the smirk . . . we all know what she's hiding!

[Pastor Al E Pistle]

Re: Tampons and Maxi Pads

Well, this wasn't in the 'men's forum', Pastor.

And how is a discussion on female bodily functions a male topic?

Shut up.

[Rachael Van Helsing]

Re: Tampons and Maxi Pads

Well, this wasn't in the 'men's forum', Pastor.

And how is a discussion on female bodily functions a male topic?

[Pastor Al E Pistle]

Re: Tampons and Maxi Pads

OMH, if you were a woman you would no that there is know gratification to be had from tampon insertation. It is, like the whole process or menstruating, quite messy and unappealing.

EXCUSE ME! TAMPONS, AKA "SATANS LITTLE COTTON FINGERS" ARE NOT A FIT TOPIC OF DISCUSSION ON THIS GODLY BOARD!

WOMEN WILL SILENTLY ACCEPT THAT THEY MUST SUFFER FOR ETERNITY FOR EVE'S INDESCRETIONS AND NOT JOIN IN MANLY DISCUSSIONS!

[Rachael Van Helsing]

Re: Tampons and Maxi Pads

OMH, if you were a woman you would no that there is know gratification to be had from tampon insertation. It is, like the whole process or menstruating, quite messy and unappealing.

[Old Man Hatchet]

Friends, advertisements for tampons and maxi pads make me sick. They always show women dancing, playing tennis, and doing aerobics. When a woman is suffering from her monthly punishment from God, she should quarantine herself. When I am out in public, I am always concerned that there may be menstruating women nearby. The very idea! A woman should not go out into civilized society with a tainted cooter. Some of these women actually have the nerve to be in supermarkets near food.

If the manufacturers of these products had a shread of decency, they would make commercials that show women locked in closets or chained to beds. Before my wife went through menopause, she wasn't even allowed in the house during her monthly tribulation. She stayed outside with the dogs.

Tampons and maxi pads have names that counter the notion of quarantining women during their periods, such as Stayfree. And they come with wings, further advocating the idea that women should "take flight" and not seclude themselves.



While we're on the subject, tampons are for harlots. The only thing that should go into a woman's private area is her good husband's manhood for the purpose of creating more Christians. Ladies, your period is punishment from God. It is not an excuse for self-gratification.



Observe how this deplorable product is called Playtex, insinuating that menstruation time is play time. Gentle glide, indeed. Sickening.