[Pastor Al E Pistle]

Re: True Christian Trading Post

Tomorrow is sunday, The Lord's day. I will be ministering to my flock of semi-nude natives on the white white sand beach below the church.

The strikeout feature.....the brackets are the keys to the right of the P on your keyboard. Left bracket, s, right bracket starts the strikeout and left bracket right slash s right bracket stops it.

[Deaner]

Re: True Christian Trading Post

PS Bobby Joe, I'll make sure that boy can shine before I ship him out. I'm not going to send you a bum steer, Brother!

Ok, hold on; I just read this.

So Bobby Joe is going to give you a Panda fur coat as long as he can shine shoes? Well...can he play harmonica too? Because if he can shine shoes AND play harmonica I'll give you my authographed Pat Robertson 1611 KJV.

Now, if you can get him to tap dance as well; I'm going to hook you up next time we go on the teenage prostitute ministry. We could use a good man like you there.

Dean

[Pastor Ezekiel]

Re: True Christian Trading Post

Ok, hold on; I just read this.

So Bobby Joe is going to give you a Panda fur coat as long as he can shine shoes? Well...can he play harmonica too? Because if he can shine shoes AND play harmonica I'll give you my authographed Pat Robertson 1611 KJV.

Now, if you can get him to tap dance as well; I'm going to hook you up next time we go on the teenage prostitute ministry. We could use a good man like you there.

Dean

Brother Deaner, the waiting list for that particular ministry is several years long. Don't get his hopes up....

[Brother Temperance]

Re: True Christian Trading Post

I had my first Bible study session with Condi today... I thought I'd try something nice and simple, like Leviticus 1:

1 And the LORD called unto Moses, and spake unto him out of the tabernacle of the congregation, saying,
2 Speak unto the children of Israel, and say unto them, If any man of you bring an offering unto the LORD, ye shall bring your offering of the cattle, even of the herd, and of the flock.
3 If his offering be a burnt sacrifice of the herd, let him offer a male without blemish: he shall offer it of his own voluntary will at the door of the tabernacle of the congregation before the LORD.
4 And he shall put his hand upon the head of the burnt offering; and it shall be accepted for him to make atonement for him.
5 And he shall kill the bullock before the LORD: and the priests, Aaron's sons, shall bring the blood, and sprinkle the blood round about upon the altar that is by the door of the tabernacle of the congregation.
6 And he shall flay the burnt offering, and cut it into his pieces.
7 And the sons of Aaron the priest shall put fire upon the altar, and lay the wood in order upon the fire:
8 And the priests, Aaron's sons, shall lay the parts, the head, and the fat, in order upon the wood that is on the fire which is upon the altar:
9 But his inwards and his legs shall he wash in water: and the priest shall burn all on the altar, to be a burnt sacrifice, an offering made by fire, of a sweet savour unto the LORD.
10 And if his offering be of the flocks, namely, of the sheep, or of the goats, for a burnt sacrifice; he shall bring it a male without blemish.
11 And he shall kill it on the side of the altar northward before the LORD: and the priests, Aaron's sons, shall sprinkle his blood round about upon the altar.
12 And he shall cut it into his pieces, with his head and his fat: and the priest shall lay them in order on the wood that is on the fire which is upon the altar:
13 But he shall wash the inwards and the legs with water: and the priest shall bring it all, and burn it upon the altar: it is a burnt sacrifice, an offering made by fire, of a sweet savour unto the LORD.
14 And if the burnt sacrifice for his offering to the LORD be of fowls, then he shall bring his offering of turtledoves, or of young pigeons.
15 And the priest shall bring it unto the altar, and wring off his head, and burn it on the altar; and the blood thereof shall be wrung out at the side of the altar:
16 And he shall pluck away his crop with his feathers, and cast it beside the altar on the east part, by the place of the ashes:
17 And he shall cleave it with the wings thereof, but shall not divide it asunder: and the priest shall burn it upon the altar, upon the wood that is upon the fire: it is a burnt sacrifice, an offering made by fire, of a sweet savour unto the LORD.

The damnable foreigner was hungover, and things didn't go too well. Any takers for a vomit-soiled KJV?

[Sister Rebecca]

Re: True Christian Trading Post

No, thank you dear.
However, I have a gently-used Ak-47 I would trade Sister Glynndie for some of her yummy snickerdoodles.

[SUV]

Re: True Christian Trading Post

No, thank you dear.
However, I have a gently-used Ak-47 I would trade Sister Glynndie for some of her yummy snickerdoodles.

Bless You, Dear! I had all but forgotten about Mother Glynndie's yummy snickerdoodles.

Guess I know what I'm getting for Christmas this year!

SUV