Here She Comes, Miss Landover Baptist

[Johny Joe Hold]

If Landover Baptist had a beauty pageant, I know of a great contestant, the beautiful Lauren Ashley.

Miss Ashley is the current Miss Beverly Hills and will represent Beverly Hills in the upcoming Miss California Pageant. But, lots of unGodly Californians do not want her there. Why? Because she quotes from the Bible.

"The Bible says that gays are an abomination and she be killed," says the Miss Beverly Hills.

So, here's my open message to dear Lauren Ashely: If they don't want you in CA, come to Freehold, Iowa, and we at Landover Baptist will put together a Beauty Pageant just for you.

[SUV]

Re: Here She Comes, Miss Landover Baptist

[Lost Sheep McUinnean]

Re: Here She Comes, Miss Landover Baptist

I think in this case we can say 'Scrpiture AND pics - or it didn't happen.'

We should invite her here, but looks aren't everything, although we should see some to check, we'd need to know about the contestants' pies and charitable works too. Especially the pies.

[Johny Joe Hold]

Re: Here She Comes, Miss Landover Baptist

Well, gosh, we already do have beautiful women at Landover Baptist. I was just, you know, making a different point.

[Luci Mourningstar]

Re: Here She Comes, Miss Landover Baptist

[SUV]

Re: Here She Comes, Miss Landover Baptist

Sister Luci, I Tearfully concede my lead to you. You just can't beat Praying Hands

[Luci Mourningstar]

Re: Here She Comes, Miss Landover Baptist

Sister Luci, I Tearfully concede my lead to you. You just can't beat Praying Hands

I humbly thank you, dear Sister SUV in Christ

The Lord told me he knows you intimately from your heartfelt prayers as well.

[Halleluyah Rob]

Re: Here She Comes, Miss Landover Baptist

A great contestant yes, but I think no True Christian™ woman would top the beautiful Mary Dickson.
Admire the beautiful plumb curves, a perfect stature indeed!

[Luci Mourningstar]

Re: Here She Comes, Miss Landover Baptist

She is beautiful, Halleluyah Rob.

However, I think few can supass the beauty of the lovely (unfortunately diseased), Tammy Faye Bakker:

[BelieverInGod]

Re: Here She Comes, Miss Landover Baptist

Shouldn't part of the competition involve a pie baking contest?

[Meek and Humble]

Re: Here She Comes, Miss Landover Baptist

I was going to nominate my on-again, off-again girlfriend Miss April, but I remembered she doesn't attend our church

[SUV]

Re: Here She Comes, Miss Landover Baptist

I think few can supass the beauty of the lovely (unfortunately diseased), Tammy Faye Bakker:

True(c) Sister. And why is that God-awful "Dolly Parton" even trying to?

[Capt. Aaron Portway]

Re: Here She Comes, Miss Landover Baptist

She is beautiful, Halleluyah Rob.

However, I think few can supass the beauty of the lovely (unfortunately diseased), Tammy Faye Bakker:

She's a lot more than diseased, she's DEAD!

And in Hell I imagine, as she wasn't a member of Landover.

[Luci Mourningstar]

Re: Here She Comes, Miss Landover Baptist

She's a lot more than diseased, she's DEAD!

And in Hell I imagine, as she wasn't a member of Landover.

Speeling is not my strong point

I can make a good apple crumb pie though

[Aristotle]

Re: Here She Comes, Miss Landover Baptist

She's a lot more than diseased, she's DEAD!

And in Hell I imagine, as she wasn't a member of Landover.

A sad day when she died, though. My cosmetic company stocks dropped 10%.