[Sister Noddy]

Re: God strikes down errant Pastor

And for your information, my sense of humor is excellent. I am renowned amongst the congregation as a hilarious, knee-slapping pastor. In fact I've got a joke lined up for this coming Sunday's sermon based on Proverbs 17, verse 12 that will just slay.

Yes seriously, I know you are very funny, Pastor Zeke. Your posts are well-composed and to the point, with exactly the emphasis needed in all the right places.

I would like to hear your sermon, by the way.

[Father Maurice Lester]

Re: God strikes down errant Pastor

Ministers who hike in the woods with little boys pretending to be catlicks Baptists aren't fooling anyone. GOD sees them. Snails are slow, but they go through a goose in two minutes. If you pretend to be a catlick Baptist, God won't wait two minutes to pop a million volt flashbulb in your butt.

TAKE HEED, SINNERS!

The facts in front of us suggest my editing is the truthful representation of the situation. This man was a Baptwit through and through and those boys were his sons and have never received any settlement money from the Holy Roman Church. It is this type of slanderous smear job that continues to keep you Landovarians holed up in a cornfield without a Renaissance masterwork anywhere for a thousand miles.

It should surprise nobody that a cultist like this man was given a bit of the 'old smokey'. However, we pray for his soul and offer his family this chance to convert before it is too late.



Bless you, my very recent parolee,
Father Mo

[lilith]

Re: God strikes down errant Pastor

Yes seriously, I know you are very funny, Pastor Zeke. Your posts are well-composed and to the point, with exactly the emphasis needed in all the right places.

I would like to hear your sermon, by the way.

So...have you always been such a groveller,or is it something you learned here at Landover?

[Sister Noddy]

Re: God strikes down errant Pastor

So ... have you always been such a groveller, or is it something you learned here at Landover?

Yes, I've learned some interesting things here at Landover. But I give a compliment when I mean it. I respect people who are articulate, can use the English language correctly and creatively, can be funny yet maintain consistency, whether or not I agree with the specifics.

[Pastor Al E Pistle]

Re: God strikes down errant Pastor

Yes, I've learned some interesting things here at Landover. But I give a compliment when I mean it. I respect people who are articulate, can use the English language correctly and creatively, can be funny yet maintain consistency, whether or not I agree with the specifics.

Ahh...You refer to me. Thank you.

[Sister Noddy]

Re: God strikes down errant Pastor

Ahh ... You refer to me. Thank you.

Aww ... so you knew I was talking about you in that post, didn't you, Pastor Pistle?

[Pastor Al E Pistle]

Re: God strikes down errant Pastor

Aww ... so you knew I was talking about you in that post, didn't you, Pastor Pistle?

Everyone must have recognized that you described me exactly.

"I respect people who are articulate, can use the English language correctly and creatively, can be funny yet maintain consistency."

That's just how Dear Mrs. Pistle used to describe me before the horrible accident. How many times had I explained to her not to climb in the apple tree picking just the perfect apples for my pie while the wood chipper was running? Many, many times.

But the apples from that tree were exceptionally plump for several years thereafter; surely a sign from the Lord.

[Sister Noddy]

Re: God strikes down errant Pastor

Everyone must have recognized that you described me exactly.

"I respect people who are articulate, can use the English language correctly and creatively, can be funny yet maintain consistency."

That's just how Dear Mrs. Pistle used to describe me before the horrible accident. How many times had I explained to her not to climb in the apple tree picking just the perfect apples for my pie while the wood chipper was running? Many, many times.

But the apples from that tree were exceptionally plump for several years thereafter; surely a sign from the Lord.

I am sooooo sorry to hear about the lovely Mrs. Pistle, Pastor! My condolences.

And yes! Surely a sign from God, those perfect apples in their season; for the Lord Jesus works in mysterious ways.

[Brother Temperance]

Re: God strikes down errant Pastor

Secular reply:

We are sorry to hear of the tragic death of this pastor, husband and father. He will be missed by his congregation, his family and friends. He is survived by his two sons, who sustained minor injuries from the lightning.

Mainstream church reply:

We pray for the repose of the soul of Pastor William Clardy of Grace Fellowship Baptist Church, in Jesus' name, amen.

Can anyone even tell the difference between the seculiarists and the Anglican'ts anymore? They both hate Jesus so much.

Catholic reply:

Eternal rest grant unto him, O Lord.
And let perpetual light shine upon him.

May he rest in peace.
Amen.

May his soul and the souls of all the Faithful Departed, through the Mercy of God, rest in peace.
Amen.

Wow. You managed to get through a whole post without invoking Mary! Is this a record?

And for your information, my sense of humor is excellent. I am renowned amongst the congregation as a hilarious, knee-slapping pastor. In fact I've got a joke lined up for this coming Sunday's sermon based on Proverbs 17, verse 12 that will just slay.

How will the congregation be able to wait till Sunday?

[Sister Noddy]

Re: God strikes down errant Pastor

Catholic reply:

Eternal rest grant unto him, O Lord.
And let perpetual light shine upon him.

May he rest in peace.
Amen.

May his soul and the souls of all the Faithful Departed, through the Mercy of God, rest in peace.
Amen.

Anglican (Episcopal) reply:

(From the Episcopal Book of Common Prayer: The Burial of the Dead: Rite One)

Rest eternal grant to him, O Lord:
And let light perpetual shine upon him.

May his soul, and the souls of all the departed, through the mercy of God, rest in peace.
Amen.

(From the Episcopal Book of Common Prayer: The Burial of the Dead: Rite Two)

Rest eternal grant to him, O Lord:
And let light perpetual shine upon him.

May his soul, and all the souls of the departed, through the mercy of God, rest in peace.
Amen.

[WilliamJenningsBryan]

Re: God strikes down errant Pastor

Secular reply:

We are sorry to hear of the tragic death of this pastor, husband and father. He will be missed by his congregation, his family and friends. He is survived by his two sons, who sustained minor injuries from the lightning.

Mainstream church reply:

We pray for the repose of the soul of Pastor William Clardy of Grace Fellowship Baptist Church, in Jesus' name, amen.

Darwinist (Gene Pool Update) Reply:

Anyone with a modicum of intelligence knows not to seek refuge in a thunderstorm underneath a tree. Unfortunately this individual lived long enough to pass his genes along to two offspring, who survived.