[Pastor Isaac Peters]

Re: JesOS: What's in YOUR future?

Is there any way we can modify JesOS so it kills more trees?

Such a sophisticated and feature-rich OS will presumably require a large manual.

[Dr. Ernest C. Ville, D.C.S.]

Re: JesOS: What's in YOUR future?

I'm working on the hardware aspect of it now, through a generous research grant.... If all goes well, we will have a diesel powered computer by Christmas!

[pplandarts]

Re: JesOS: What's in YOUR future?

where i can download it?

[Trent Harvey, Jr.]

Re: JesOS: What's in YOUR future?

where i can download it?

Every time you commit software piracy, Jesus has to kill a kitten.

[Pastor Ezekiel]

Re: JesOS: What's in YOUR future?

where i can download it?

Since you aren't a True Christian™ the JesOS isn't available to you.

Why not post something about yourself in the "introductions" thread? We'd like to get to know you...

[pplandarts]

Re: JesOS: What's in YOUR future?

ohh sorry, I joined here because is interesting this Os, catolic guy. I will write some about me.

[Pastor Ezekiel]

Re: JesOS: What's in YOUR future?

ohh sorry, I joined here because is interesting this Os, catolic guy. I will write some about me.

Who are you adressing? There is no "catolic guy" here. We are True Christians™, not mary worshiping cultists.

I look forward to hearing about your favorite Bible verses.

[Pastor Billy-Reuben]

Re: JesOS: What's in YOUR future?

Well, friend. I'll tell you how you can get JesOS. It isn't available as a download. It's free as in salvation. First, you have to accept Jesus Christ as your Lord and Savior, and you have to demonstrate your salvation by setting up a generous tithing schedule.

Once you have been a member in good standing for long enough, we will send a technician over to your house to install the software. As part of the License Agreement, you will have to agree to a search of your property for alcohol, drugs, pornography, and books about liberal politics or science, with all contraband being confiscated, and your tithing schedule adjusted upwards accordingly.

Pastor Billy-Reuben

[Pastor Billy-Reuben]

Re: JesOS: What's in YOUR future?

We need to conduct an audit. Some atheist over at RichardDawkins.net has a copy of the JesOS install CD. Who is missing their copy? You will be much better off if you come clean now instead of waiting for Bobby Joe's security detail to perform house-to-house searches.

Unfortunately I couldn't get Jes-OS to run on my PC. I kept hearing voices calling me a "goat pleasuring son of a one eyed whore" whenever I put the CD-ROM in the drive, and sulphurous smoke kept erupting from the back of the system case ...

Yeah, that will happen. Did you admit that you are a worthless sinner, accept Jesus Christ as your Lord and Savior, and provide your bank account number and routing number to Landover Baptist Church during the install, as the license agreement requires?

The programmers use a faith-based approach to software development, so they know the software is 100% free of bugs, and testing is not required. Because of the developers' faith, the Holy Ghost adds tons and tons of surprising and unexpected features. Only a unsaved heathen would consider such to be bugs. They are working on getting PraiseZilla up and running, so that a list can be compiled of all the exciting additional features the users have been blessed with. The LORD is so good!

I have to ask how you obtained your copy. I thought it was only supposed to be available to silver-level tithers or higher in good standing.

Pastor Billy-Reuben
LandoverBaptist.net

[Pastor Al E Pistle]

Re: JesOS: What's in YOUR future?

We need to conduct an audit. Some atheist over at RichardDawkins.net has a copy of the JesOS install CD. Who is missing their copy? You will be much better off if you come clean now instead of waiting for Bobby Joe's security detail to perform house-to-house searches.

PDF's copy disappeared while he was at the AAI convention.

[SUV]

Re: JesOS: What's in YOUR future?

PDF's copy disappeared while he was at the AAI convention.

What's AAI, Pastor? "American Atheist Intervention?" by any chance?

I want to go too

[Pastor Ezekiel]

Re: JesOS: What's in YOUR future?

What's AAI, Pastor? "American Atheist Intervention?" by any chance?

I want to go too

Don't ask, sweet sister. And whatever you do, do not google AAI.

[WilliamJenningsBryan]

Re: JesOS: What's in YOUR future?

PDF's copy disappeared while he was at the AAI convention.

I would not be too concerned Pastor Pistle, JesOS is encrypted and the license agreement mentions Leviticus (26) as punishment to all those who violate its covenants (something that heathen Bill Gates never thought of).

[Brother Temperance]

Re: JesOS: What's in YOUR future?

Don't ask, sweet sister. And whatever you do, do not google AAI.

Good advice, I only wish I'd taken it. The Athletics Association of Ireland is a horrific thing indeed.

[Fock Me]

Re: JesOS: What's in YOUR future?

WTF?!!??!!!?!?! yall r soooooo gay! like someone is going to actually care if yall gave the download to other people or not. yall r being just like Mircrosoft! JesOS should be a freely distributed form of OS and remember that Jesus wants to good to ALL humanity not only Christians so if you just kept that OS to ur selves Jeses him self is going to get mad at you.