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  • #16
    Re: JesOS: What's in YOUR future?

    Originally posted by Brother Temperance View Post
    Is there any way we can modify JesOS so it kills more trees?
    Such a sophisticated and feature-rich OS will presumably require a large manual.
    This church is dedicated to preaching True Christianity™ and the King James Bible exactly as they are, with no alterations to make them more politically correct for modern liberals. If you think that we've misquoted or twisted Scripture or quoted any verse out of context, please explain in detail how we've done so. Otherwise, if what you read on this site offends you, then you're offended by Almighty God and His Word, not by us.

    Questions to ask liberal "Christians" ✞ Things that the Bible doesn't say ✞ Tolerance

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    • #17
      Re: JesOS: What's in YOUR future?

      I'm working on the hardware aspect of it now, through a generous research grant.... If all goes well, we will have a diesel powered computer by Christmas!
      Trump 2020: "For Real This Time"

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      • #18
        Re: JesOS: What's in YOUR future?

        where i can download it?

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        • #19
          Re: JesOS: What's in YOUR future?

          Originally posted by pplandarts View Post
          where i can download it?
          Every time you commit software piracy, Jesus has to kill a kitten.
          Founder and CEO of Trickle-Down Charities™, LLC.

          Current Project: Bedmates For Billionaires: Biblical eldercare straight from King David
          Goal:           $500,000 Currently raised: $0.11 DONATE NOW! Yes, we accept Biblecoins!

          True Christians™ believe they they exist to serve the Bible-revealed will of God.
          False Christians believe the Bible exists to serve their will. GOD IS NOT YOUR YES-MAN!

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          • #20
            Re: JesOS: What's in YOUR future?

            Originally posted by pplandarts View Post
            where i can download it?
            Since you aren't a True Christian™ the JesOS isn't available to you.

            Why not post something about yourself in the "introductions" thread? We'd like to get to know you...
            Who Will Jesus Damn?

            Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

            Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

            Need Pastoral Advice? Contact me privately at PastorEzekiel@landoverbaptist.net TODAY!!

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            • #21
              Re: JesOS: What's in YOUR future?

              ohh sorry, I joined here because is interesting this Os, catolic guy. I will write some about me.

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              • #22
                Re: JesOS: What's in YOUR future?

                Originally posted by pplandarts View Post
                ohh sorry, I joined here because is interesting this Os, catolic guy. I will write some about me.
                Who are you adressing? There is no "catolic guy" here. We are True Christians™, not mary worshiping cultists.

                I look forward to hearing about your favorite Bible verses.
                Who Will Jesus Damn?

                Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

                Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

                Need Pastoral Advice? Contact me privately at PastorEzekiel@landoverbaptist.net TODAY!!

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                • #23
                  Re: JesOS: What's in YOUR future?

                  Well, friend. I'll tell you how you can get JesOS. It isn't available as a download. It's free as in salvation. First, you have to accept Jesus Christ as your Lord and Savior, and you have to demonstrate your salvation by setting up a generous tithing schedule.

                  Once you have been a member in good standing for long enough, we will send a technician over to your house to install the software. As part of the License Agreement, you will have to agree to a search of your property for alcohol, drugs, pornography, and books about liberal politics or science, with all contraband being confiscated, and your tithing schedule adjusted upwards accordingly.

                  Pastor Billy-Reuben
                  Upon request I will cite scripture for all these facts in God's Holy Word.

                  ✝ This is a Christian community and we worship GOD of the Holy bible, the only Living GOD. We worship Jesus Christ, Son of GOD and Savior. Anything else is absurd. ✝
                  Trump / Arpaio 2016 -- The Government We Deserve
                  #ChristianLivesMatter

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                  • #24
                    Re: JesOS: What's in YOUR future?

                    We need to conduct an audit. Some atheist over at RichardDawkins.net has a copy of the JesOS install CD. Who is missing their copy? You will be much better off if you come clean now instead of waiting for Bobby Joe's security detail to perform house-to-house searches.

                    Originally posted by Calilasseia
                    Unfortunately I couldn't get Jes-OS to run on my PC. I kept hearing voices calling me a "goat pleasuring son of a one eyed whore" whenever I put the CD-ROM in the drive, and sulphurous smoke kept erupting from the back of the system case ...
                    Yeah, that will happen. Did you admit that you are a worthless sinner, accept Jesus Christ as your Lord and Savior, and provide your bank account number and routing number to Landover Baptist Church during the install, as the license agreement requires?

                    The programmers use a faith-based approach to software development, so they know the software is 100% free of bugs, and testing is not required. Because of the developers' faith, the Holy Ghost adds tons and tons of surprising and unexpected features. Only a unsaved heathen would consider such to be bugs. They are working on getting PraiseZilla up and running, so that a list can be compiled of all the exciting additional features the users have been blessed with. The LORD is so good!

                    I have to ask how you obtained your copy. I thought it was only supposed to be available to silver-level tithers or higher in good standing.

                    Pastor Billy-Reuben
                    LandoverBaptist.net
                    Upon request I will cite scripture for all these facts in God's Holy Word.

                    ✝ This is a Christian community and we worship GOD of the Holy bible, the only Living GOD. We worship Jesus Christ, Son of GOD and Savior. Anything else is absurd. ✝
                    Trump / Arpaio 2016 -- The Government We Deserve
                    #ChristianLivesMatter

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                    • #25
                      Re: JesOS: What's in YOUR future?

                      Originally posted by Pastor Billy-Reuben View Post
                      We need to conduct an audit. Some atheist over at RichardDawkins.net has a copy of the JesOS install CD. Who is missing their copy? You will be much better off if you come clean now instead of waiting for Bobby Joe's security detail to perform house-to-house searches.
                      PDF's copy disappeared while he was at the AAI convention.
                      Emeritus Professor of the Christ Jesus Chair of Theology at Landover Baptist University.
                      "God loves you. Let us arrange for you to meet Him".
                      Break their teeth, O God, in their mouth.--Psalms 58:6


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                      • #26
                        Re: JesOS: What's in YOUR future?

                        Originally posted by Pastor Al E Pistle View Post
                        PDF's copy disappeared while he was at the AAI convention.
                        What's AAI, Pastor? "American Atheist Intervention?" by any chance?

                        I want to go too

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                        • #27
                          Re: JesOS: What's in YOUR future?

                          Originally posted by SUV View Post
                          What's AAI, Pastor? "American Atheist Intervention?" by any chance?

                          I want to go too
                          Don't ask, sweet sister. And whatever you do, do not google AAI.
                          Who Will Jesus Damn?

                          Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

                          Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

                          Need Pastoral Advice? Contact me privately at PastorEzekiel@landoverbaptist.net TODAY!!

                          Comment

                          • #28
                            Re: JesOS: What's in YOUR future?

                            Originally posted by Pastor Al E Pistle View Post
                            PDF's copy disappeared while he was at the AAI convention.
                            I would not be too concerned Pastor Pistle, JesOS is encrypted and the license agreement mentions Leviticus (26) as punishment to all those who violate its covenants (something that heathen Bill Gates never thought of).
                            Hell's foundations quiver at the shout of praise;
                            brothers, lift your voices, loud your anthems raise.
                            ...and get off my lawn
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                            • #29
                              Re: JesOS: What's in YOUR future?

                              Originally posted by Pastor Ezekiel View Post
                              Don't ask, sweet sister. And whatever you do, do not google AAI.
                              Good advice, I only wish I'd taken it. The Athletics Association of Ireland is a horrific thing indeed.
                              O Lord our God, help us to tear their soldiers to bloody shreds with our shells; help us to cover their smiling fields with the pale forms of their patriot dead; help us to drown the thunder of the guns with the shrieks of their wounded, writhing in pain; help us to lay waste their humble homes with a hurricane of fire; help us to wring the hearts of their unoffending widows with unavailing grief; help us to turn them out roofless with little children to wander unfriended the wastes of their desolated land in rags and hunger and thirst, sports of the sun flames of summer and the icy winds of winter, broken in spirit, worn with travail, imploring Thee for the refuge of the grave and denied it--for our sakes who adore Thee, Lord, blast their hopes, blight their lives, protract their bitter pilgrimage, make heavy their steps, water their way with their tears, stain the white snow with the blood of their wounded feet! We ask it, in the spirit of love, of Him Who is the Source of Love, and Who is the ever-faithful refuge and friend of all that are sore beset and seek His aid with humble and contrite hearts. Amen.



                              God being truth, justice, goodness, beauty, power, and life, man is falsehood, iniquity, evil, ugliness, impotence, and death. God being master, man is the slave. Incapable of finding justice, truth, and eternal life by his own effort, he can attain them only through a divine revelation... he who desires to worship God must harbor no childish illusions about the matter, but bravely renounce his liberty and humanity.

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                              • #30
                                Re: JesOS: What's in YOUR future?

                                WTF?!!??!!!?!?! yall r soooooo gay! like someone is going to actually care if yall gave the download to other people or not. yall r being just like Mircrosoft! JesOS should be a freely distributed form of OS and remember that Jesus wants to good to ALL humanity not only Christians so if you just kept that OS to ur selves Jeses him self is going to get mad at you.

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