How can I get involved at Landover Christian University?

[Brad Crassley]

I have to say I am impressed after reading about your church. I like what ths place stands for and I also can not believe the size of this place! And you have your own university. I was going to ask where do I go to tithe, and what do I have to do to attend Landover Christian University?

God bless,

Brad Crassley

[Pastor Ezekiel]

Re: How can I get involved at Landover Christian University?

I have to say I am impressed after reading about your church. I like what ths place stands for and I also can not believe the size of this place! And you have your own university. I was going to ask where do I go to tithe, and what do I have to do to attend Landover Christian University?

God bless,

Brad Crassley

The application process is time-consuming and expensive for those who are outsiders. I'd work on getting Saved(r) first.

What are you interested in studying?

[Brad Crassley]

Re: How can I get involved at Landover Christian University?

The application process is time-consuming and expensive for those who are outsiders. I'd work on getting Saved® first.

What are you interested in studying?

I'm interested in studying King James Onlyism Biblical Studies

[Felicity]

Re: How can I get involved at Landover Christian University?

@Brad Crassley Are you saved?

[Oompa-loompa]

Re: How can I get involved at Landover Christian University?

What do you guys teach in that university?

[Pastor Ezekiel]

Re: How can I get involved at Landover Christian University?

What do you guys teach in that university?

Take a look at the curriculum I had to endure.

[Dr. Ernest C. Ville, D.C.S.]

Re: How can I get involved at Landover Christian University?

I just became aware of your question, and I apologize for the tardiness of my reply. I have been very busy lately, as you can probably imagine. Since we are a top-notch research institute, there is very little time for me to be browsing the web, as I am often kept busy in church/laboratory.

The guidelines are always changing, in order for us to remain at the very forefront of learning and researching Biblical matters -- we are always striving to ensure that we bring in the best and brightest, and therefore our metrics differ from year to year, indeed sometimes from semester to semester.

In any event, Pastor Zeke is indeed correct: it is a very time-consuming process. We here at Landover are dedicated to accepting only the best and brightest homeschoolers from around the country. Our exhaustive application requires that you be without blemish on many levels, from the spiritual to the financial. If there's one thing Jesus hates more than sinners it's poor sinners, and that is generally a good way to "trim the herd" so to speak.

Beyond that, we ask that you provide at least 5 references from your local Baptist church with information regarding your Salvation, and a complete description about the circumstances under which your conversion happened. Video is preferred, although occasionally we will accept someone with only panoramic-view pictures.

We require receipts of your previous 5 years of tithing history to be delivered along with your paper application; this cannot be waived except in extreme cases (preferably a letter from George W. Bush or Dick Cheney).

A word of advice: for tax purposes, Landover Baptist University does not charge tuition or fees, unlike some other liberal "elite" colleges like Harvard and Yale. We do, however, closely monitor your tithes & offerings (made payable to "Landover Baptist Church", see the PayPal button below), and should they fall below the Lord's recommended tithing range, you will be put onto Financial Probation until your status is fixed (I believe last year the Good Lord recommended $65,000 per fiscal year). This is non-negotiable. However, there are various financial plans that we can recommend. For instance, George W. Bush set aside a generous portion of taxpayer money to help support faith-based initiatives, so we may be able to offer a taxpayer-funded tithing plan to help offset your tithe recommendation.

Additionally, we do not offer majors in the traditional sense -- we do not award degrees of "Engineering", "Science" or "the Arts"; rather, we offer a degree in Biblical Study, which I think you can agree is far more valuable. We offer majors in a variety of Biblical fields, from Biblical Engineering, Biblical Housewifery, General Biblical Studies and Biblical Defense Against Witchcraft. We ask that you think through your decision on a major before applying, as we require that you "stay the course", and do not allow a change in major.

Please also be aware that, should you be accepted and successfully complete Landover's coursework, Landover retains the legal rights to 10% of your pre-tax salary in perpetuity, in accordance with the Word of God.

I congratulate you on setting your goals so high as to be accepted into Landover University. However, I ask that you not get too excited just yet: we have a more stringent acceptance policy than the liberal diploma mills like Harvard, MIT and Stanford. However, I guarantee you that your degree in Biblical Science will make Jesus happy should He see fit to grant you a mansion in Heaven one day

[Brad Crassley]

Re: How can I get involved at Landover Christian University?

@Brad Crassley Are you saved?

Yes I love Jesus.

[Brad Crassley]

Re: How can I get involved at Landover Christian University?

Take a look at the curriculum I had to endure.

Pastor Ezekiel, you are truly blessed to have gone through such a curriculum. God must really have a calling in your life! God bless and amen!

[Brad Crassley]

Re: How can I get involved at Landover Christian University?

thanks for this very valuable information!