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  • Virginia Day Templeton
    Christ's Battle Axe
     
    • Dec 2006
    • 2827

    #1

    Brother Obed Tuckett has passed away.

    Brothers and Sisters, I have some sad news.

    A few months ago I posted this national news story regarding Brother Obed Tuckett, a member of Landover's Anti-Demon Task Force™. Brother Tuckett, who had been dispatched to the greater tri-state area to neutralize demon-possessed birds, made headlines for tracking a vampire peacock to a fast-food parking lot and heroically pummeling it into a coma. It was later euthanized. LBC's staff was so pleased by Obed's achievement that they sent him on a special mission to Eastern Europe, the details of which have been deemed too sensitive to release to the congregation.

    However, our pastors recently received the tragic news that Brother Tuckett has fallen in the line of duty.

    Man Killed by Owl He Tried to Steal from Moscow Zoo

    A man has died after being attacked by an owl he tried to steal from Moscow zoo, the Komsomolskaya Pravda daily reported.

    The incident took place on Tuesday night. Zoo workers found the body of the 32-year old man near the wild birds’ cage. An owl was missing from the nearest compertment.

    Most likely, the man got into the zoo at night intending to steal a bird. He climbed over the fense and broke the cage where an owl lived. “The place was covered with feathers, at first we thought that the owl flew away,” zoo workers told reporters. However, soon the bird was discovered hiding in the bushes. The owl was bruised and frightened, but alive.

    Prosecutors, who started investigation into the man’s death, said it was obvious that the bird fought the thief fiercely. The cage and the zoo fence were covered in blood drops. Investigators say that the man tried to climb the fence wit the bird in his hands but fell and collapsed after his head hit a cage. The man died of hypothermia after lying several hours unconscious on the cold ground.
    Pastors have spoken with the Russian authorities and confirmed the deceased to be Brother Tuckett, and paramilitary action against the zoo's aviary is in the planning stages.

    A memorial service and duck hunt will be held in his honor this Wednesday. All are encouraged to attend.



    ~1975-2007~
    Last edited by Virginia Day Templeton; 09-10-2007, 05:41 AM.
    sigpic
  • lilith
    Night Hag
    • Sep 2006
    • 1232

    #2
    Re: Brother Obed Tuckett has passed away.

    Originally posted by Virginia D. Templeton View Post
    Brothers and Sisters, I have some sad news.

    A few months ago I posted this national news story regarding Brother Obed Tuckett, a member of Landover's Anti-Demon Task Force™. Brother Tuckett, who had been dispatched to the greater tri-state area to neutralize demon-possessed birds, made headlines for tracking a vampire peacock to a fast-food parking lot and heroically pummeling it into a coma. It was later euthanized. LBC's staff was so pleased by Obed's achievement that they sent him on a special mission to Eastern Europe, the details of which have been deemed too sensitive to release to the congregation.

    However, our pastors recently received the tragic news that Brother Tuckett has fallen in the line of duty.



    Pastors have spoken with the Russian authorities and confirmed the deceased to be Brother Tuckett, and paramilitary action against the zoo's aviary is in the planning stages.

    A memorial service and duck hunt will be held in his honor this Wednesday. All are encouraged to attend.



    ~1975-2007~


    Ok,so WHY was he trying to steal the owl,then?
    In order to be old & wise,you must first be young & stupid.

    Comment

    • Virginia Day Templeton
      Christ's Battle Axe
       
      • Dec 2006
      • 2827

      #3
      Re: Brother Obed Tuckett has passed away.

      Like I said, the pastors wouldn't tell us anything. It was a top secret mission. If I had to guess, I'd say he was either going to kill it or perform some sort of exorcism. Other sources are saying he was naked when his body was found, so the demonic bird must have torn off all of his clothes with its talons before or after murdering him. Sick.
      Last edited by Virginia Day Templeton; 09-11-2007, 03:55 AM.
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      Comment

      • lilith
        Night Hag
        • Sep 2006
        • 1232

        #4
        Re: Brother Obed Tuckett has passed away.

        Um....the BIRD tore off his clothes? Before murdering him?

        Are you sure he wasn't just your average nutcase with a thing about Owls?
        In order to be old & wise,you must first be young & stupid.

        Comment

        • Father Thomas Martin
          Pedantic Pubescent Pedophile Papist Proselytizer
          • Jul 2007
          • 1015

          #5
          Re: Brother Obed Tuckett has passed away.

          Eternal rest grant unto him, O Lord.
          And let perpetual light shine upon him.

          May he rest in peace. Amen.

          May his soul, and the souls of all the faithful departed, through the mercy of God, rest in peace.
          Amen.
          ACTS 5:29

          But Peter and the apostles said in reply, "We must obey God rather than men."
          There you have it-so WHAT'S STOPPING YOU COWARDS?

          Comment

          • Virginia Day Templeton
            Christ's Battle Axe
             
            • Dec 2006
            • 2827

            #6
            Re: Brother Obed Tuckett has passed away.

            You would never have said something that vile and cowardly while Brother Obed was alive, much less said it to his face. You're lower than a common garden worm.
            sigpic

            Comment

            • Brother Temperance
              Senior Usher
              True Christian™ missionary to the Unsaved Kingdom
              A very nice young man
              True Christian™
              • Sep 2006
              • 15621

              #7
              Re: Brother Obed Tuckett has passed away.

              I don't know which one is more distateful, the harlot or the Papist. Both of them are going to Hell for insulting the memory of a dead Christian, anyway.
              O Lord our God, help us to tear their soldiers to bloody shreds with our shells; help us to cover their smiling fields with the pale forms of their patriot dead; help us to drown the thunder of the guns with the shrieks of their wounded, writhing in pain; help us to lay waste their humble homes with a hurricane of fire; help us to wring the hearts of their unoffending widows with unavailing grief; help us to turn them out roofless with little children to wander unfriended the wastes of their desolated land in rags and hunger and thirst, sports of the sun flames of summer and the icy winds of winter, broken in spirit, worn with travail, imploring Thee for the refuge of the grave and denied it--for our sakes who adore Thee, Lord, blast their hopes, blight their lives, protract their bitter pilgrimage, make heavy their steps, water their way with their tears, stain the white snow with the blood of their wounded feet! We ask it, in the spirit of love, of Him Who is the Source of Love, and Who is the ever-faithful refuge and friend of all that are sore beset and seek His aid with humble and contrite hearts. Amen.



              God being truth, justice, goodness, beauty, power, and life, man is falsehood, iniquity, evil, ugliness, impotence, and death. God being master, man is the slave. Incapable of finding justice, truth, and eternal life by his own effort, he can attain them only through a divine revelation... he who desires to worship God must harbor no childish illusions about the matter, but bravely renounce his liberty and humanity.

              Comment

              • Father Thomas Martin
                Pedantic Pubescent Pedophile Papist Proselytizer
                • Jul 2007
                • 1015

                #8
                Re: Brother Obed Tuckett has passed away.

                Originally posted by Virginia D. Templeton View Post
                You would never have said something that vile and cowardly while Brother Obed was alive, much less said it to his face. You're lower than a common garden worm.
                I was praying that God have mercy on his soul and lead him to the rest of heaven!

                What's so "vile and cowardly" about that?
                ACTS 5:29

                But Peter and the apostles said in reply, "We must obey God rather than men."
                There you have it-so WHAT'S STOPPING YOU COWARDS?

                Comment

                • lilith
                  Night Hag
                  • Sep 2006
                  • 1232

                  #9
                  Re: Brother Obed Tuckett has passed away.

                  Originally posted by Virginia D. Templeton View Post
                  You would never have said something that vile and cowardly while Brother Obed was alive, much less said it to his face. You're lower than a common garden worm.


                  I wouldn't put money on that,if I were you.
                  In order to be old & wise,you must first be young & stupid.

                  Comment

                  • Virginia Day Templeton
                    Christ's Battle Axe
                     
                    • Dec 2006
                    • 2827

                    #10
                    Re: Brother Obed Tuckett has passed away.

                    Originally posted by Father Thomas Martin View Post
                    I was praying that God have mercy on his soul and lead him to the rest of heaven!

                    What's so "vile and cowardly" about that?
                    I was replying to lilith's vile screed—your post was made while I was in the process of writing mine. Still, I don't think praying to Dagon will have much effect on his afterlife.
                    sigpic

                    Comment

                    • Pastor Ezekiel
                      Putting the "stud" back in Bible Study
                       
                      • Sep 2006
                      • 78551

                      #11
                      Re: Brother Obed Tuckett has passed away.

                      Originally posted by Father Thomas Martin View Post
                      I was praying that God have mercy on his soul and lead him to the rest of heaven!

                      What's so "vile and cowardly" about that?
                      Kissing rings, counting beads and wearing dresses is vile and cowardly. Praying to your "infallable" antichrist is vile and cowardly too.
                      Who Will Jesus Damn?

                      Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

                      Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

                      Need Pastoral Advice? Contact me privately at PastorEzekiel@landoverbaptist.net TODAY!!

                      Comment

                      • Father Thomas Martin
                        Pedantic Pubescent Pedophile Papist Proselytizer
                        • Jul 2007
                        • 1015

                        #12
                        Re: Brother Obed Tuckett has passed away.

                        Originally posted by Pastor Ezekiel View Post
                        Kissing rings, counting beads and wearing dresses is vile and cowardly. Praying to your "infallable" antichrist is vile and cowardly too.
                        1. We kiss the Pope's ring as a sign of respect, as a sign of tribute to authority.

                        2. The Rosary is a set of prayers asking the Blessed Mother to pray for us to Jesus, her Son (He has never denied any of her requests)

                        3. They are "Vestments" (I suppose your pastors wearing robes can also be called "dresses")

                        4. We do not pray to the Pope. And if he was the Antichrist, and many Popes have lived and died, then how come the world still exists?
                        ACTS 5:29

                        But Peter and the apostles said in reply, "We must obey God rather than men."
                        There you have it-so WHAT'S STOPPING YOU COWARDS?

                        Comment

                        • Bobby-Joe
                          Landover Security Superviser
                          Asset Loss Prevention and Personal Security Expert
                          NOT angry and positively NOT Gay
                          True Christian™
                          • Sep 2006
                          • 18405

                          #13
                          Re: Brother Obed Tuckett has passed away.

                          Originally posted by Father Thomas Martin View Post
                          Eternal rest grant unto him, O Lord.
                          And let perpetual light shine upon him.

                          May he rest in peace. Amen.

                          May his soul, and the souls of all the faithful departed, through the mercy of God, rest in peace.
                          Amen.
                          Father Thomas,

                          I would really like to take you off moderation but stunts like mocking those called home by Jesus is really unacceptable.

                          Time to reclaim our FREEDOM from the “Mullah in Chief” and his growing activist voter hoards of socialists, communists, anti-Semites, anti-Christians, atheists, radical gays and lesbians, feminists, illegal immigrants, Muslims, anti-Anglo whites and others.

                          Hot Must ReadThreads!


                          Time to come clean on Benghazi Mr Obama!

                          Comment

                          • Pastor Al E Pistle
                            Christ's Cōnsiliārius
                             
                            • Sep 2006
                            • 9323

                            #14
                            Re: Brother Obed Tuckett has passed away.

                            Originally posted by Father Thomas Martin View Post
                            1. We kiss the Pope's ring as a sign of respect, as a sign of tribute to authority.

                            Why do you bugger little boys?

                            2. The Rosary is a set of prayers asking the Blessed Mother to pray for us to Jesus, her Son (He has never denied any of her requests)

                            Why not go direct like we do? Why you pray to DAGON the fish-head god to intercede with Mary to ask JESUS for something? I'll tell you why. Because JESUS won't listen to you.

                            3. They are "Vestments" (I suppose your pastors wearing robes can also be called "dresses")

                            We don't wear dresses. Call them 'vestments' or call them what they are: dresses.

                            4. We do not pray to the Pope. And if he was the Antichrist, and many Popes have lived and died, then how come the world still exists?
                            So he can grab even more souls and try to take over heaven through sheer numbers. But, being SATAN, his logic is flawed and he can't see it.
                            Emeritus Professor of the Christ Jesus Chair of Theology at Landover Baptist University.
                            "God loves you. Let us arrange for you to meet Him".
                            Break their teeth, O God, in their mouth.--Psalms 58:6


                            Comment

                            • Brother Temperance
                              Senior Usher
                              True Christian™ missionary to the Unsaved Kingdom
                              A very nice young man
                              True Christian™
                              • Sep 2006
                              • 15621

                              #15
                              Re: Brother Obed Tuckett has passed away.

                              Originally posted by Father Thomas Martin View Post
                              1. We kiss the Pope's ring as a sign of respect, as a sign of tribute to authority.
                              You know who I respect as an authority? JESUS. Now where exactly in the Bible does it tell us to bow down before a pervert with a fish on his head?
                              2. The Rosary is a set of prayers asking the Blessed Mother to pray for us to Jesus, her Son (He has never denied any of her requests)
                              Oh, so she's a mediator? That makes sense, seeing as God said we should have lots of mediators between God and man.
                              1 Timothy 2:5 For there is one God, and one mediator between God and men, the man Christ Jesus;
                              6 Who gave himself a ransom for all, to be testified in due time.
                              3. They are "Vestments" (I suppose your pastors wearing robes can also be called "dresses")
                              Fun fact: did you know that there's only one reference to vestments in the whole Holy Bible? Here it is:
                              2 Kings 10:21 And Jehu sent through all Israel: and all the worshippers of Baal came, so that there was not a man left that came not. And they came into the house of Baal; and the house of Baal was full from one end to another. 22 And he said unto him that was over the vestry, Bring forth vestments for all the worshippers of Baal. And he brought them forth vestments.

                              4. We do not pray to the Pope. And if he was the Antichrist, and many Popes have lived and died, then how come the world still exists?
                              Good question. After all, it's not like the Bible promises that there will be many Antichrists, does it?
                              1 John 2:18 Little children, it is the last time: and as ye have heard that antichrist shall come, even now are there many antichrists; whereby we know that it is the last time.
                              O Lord our God, help us to tear their soldiers to bloody shreds with our shells; help us to cover their smiling fields with the pale forms of their patriot dead; help us to drown the thunder of the guns with the shrieks of their wounded, writhing in pain; help us to lay waste their humble homes with a hurricane of fire; help us to wring the hearts of their unoffending widows with unavailing grief; help us to turn them out roofless with little children to wander unfriended the wastes of their desolated land in rags and hunger and thirst, sports of the sun flames of summer and the icy winds of winter, broken in spirit, worn with travail, imploring Thee for the refuge of the grave and denied it--for our sakes who adore Thee, Lord, blast their hopes, blight their lives, protract their bitter pilgrimage, make heavy their steps, water their way with their tears, stain the white snow with the blood of their wounded feet! We ask it, in the spirit of love, of Him Who is the Source of Love, and Who is the ever-faithful refuge and friend of all that are sore beset and seek His aid with humble and contrite hearts. Amen.



                              God being truth, justice, goodness, beauty, power, and life, man is falsehood, iniquity, evil, ugliness, impotence, and death. God being master, man is the slave. Incapable of finding justice, truth, and eternal life by his own effort, he can attain them only through a divine revelation... he who desires to worship God must harbor no childish illusions about the matter, but bravely renounce his liberty and humanity.

                              Comment

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