No Christian lites!

[eliot mayfield]

You are for God, or you are against him!

God Hates Christian Lites!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

It is plain and simple brothers and sisters. It is as plain as buttered toast with no jam. It is as plain as “Don’t eat the apple.” It is as plain as a hot stove is to not sit on. You will go to Hell if you’re not a Christian. But you can’t be a Christian “lite.” God does not think lite Christians taste great. But Satan thinks they are plenty for filling. God says plainly in the Bible, you are for him or against him. Two faced swine are destined for HELL!

Do you think it’s enough to simply attend church? Do you think you just pay your tithes? Do you think God doesn’t see in your heart? Damnation! Like the sound of that? What? Damnation! Yes, Hellfire awaits you! Are you prepared to writhe in agony and scream as your flesh sizzles like a burger on a grill? Do you think you are special in the eyes of God?

There are billions of people on this planet and you better work to make God love you. And for God to love you, you better love God and work your butt off for him! Remember windsprints in highschool? Remember that coach screaming at you so you could be a better athethete? Remember the sweat and puking after training? What makes you think the path to heavean is going to be easier than that?

You better get out there and testify! You better scream at people that Jesus is coming back and he’s going to be kicking butt! You better be in church EVERY Sunday. God doesn’t take excuses like bass fishing or deer hunting

[Pastor Ezekiel]

Re: No Christian lites!

AMEN! And well said Brother Eliot!! Amen!!

I hope that Pastor Pistle will use this theme in his sermon this coming Sunday. I would preach it myself, but I have a previous commitment. It's quail season, and V.P. Cheney has an itchy trigger finger.

[Pastor Isaac Peters]

Re: No Christian lites!

God does not think lite Christians taste great.

No, He doesn't. Here's how He thinks they taste:

Rev. 3:15-16: I know thy works, that thou art neither cold nor hot: I would thou wert cold or hot. So then because thou art lukewarm, and neither cold nor hot, I will spue thee out of my mouth.

Now there's a 3:16 for the hippy-dippy liberal "Christians" who think that the Bible begins and ends with John 3:16. They're actually worse than the openly unsaved, and if they don't repent and start reading (and following!) the rest of Scripture, they'll end up in a celestial barf bag on the day of judgment.

There are billions of people on this planet and you better work to make God love you. And for God to love you, you better love God and work your butt off for him! Remember windsprints in highschool? Remember that coach screaming at you so you could be a better athethete? Remember the sweat and puking after training? What makes you think the path to heavean is going to be easier than that?

Indeed. The have-a-nice-day liberal "Christians," with their damnable heresy of greasy grace, are in for a rather unpleasant surprise on the day of judgment:

Matt. 7:21-23: Not every one that saith unto me, Lord, Lord, shall enter into the kingdom of heaven; but he that doeth the will of my Father which is in heaven. Many will say to me in that day, Lord, Lord, have we not prophesied in thy name? and in thy name have cast out devils? and in thy name done many wonderful works? And then will I profess unto them, I never knew you: depart from me, ye that work iniquity.

If you're not giving God your all, then you're a worker of iniquity, and Jesus will deny ever having known you. It's as simple as that.

[Mr. Jingles]

Re: No Christian lites!

That's why I love Jesus..he'll fry me if I don't. If being thrown into Hell isn't a sign of God's love for us, then I don't know what is...

[Brother Guy Bayard]

Re: No Christian lites!

I like to think of Jesus as a low fibre, full fat, high calorie, heart attack inducing , artery blocking 'Messiah-sized' meal, washed down with a bottomless cup of everlasting love - not available in 'diet'.

[eliot mayfield]

Re: No Christian lites!

Have you testified to anyone today?

[SinisterPizza]

Re: No Christian lites!

They're actually worse than the openly unsaved

So if one's obviously not cut out to be a Christian, is it better not to try at all then?

[Pastor Isaac Peters]

Re: No Christian lites!

So if one's obviously not cut out to be a Christian, is it better not to try at all then?

So, then, you consider yourself "obviously not cut out" to avoid an eternity in hell?

If you're going to spit in the face of God by turning down the precious gift that He gave you when He temporarily sacrificed Himself to Himself to avert His own wrath, then it's better not to be a hypocrite about it.

[Five Year Old Girl]

Re: No Christian lites!

WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHH!!! !!


I'm eskeered, on accounta I don't weigh a whole lotta poundses. I'm stiow liddow, an' I don't wanna go ta' heck!

[eliot mayfield]

Re: No Christian lites!

Then start praying and telling your friends about Jesus and his love!

[Pastor Al E Pistle]

Re: No Christian lites!

WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHH!!! !!


I'm eskeered, on accounta I don't weigh a whole lotta poundses. I'm stiow liddow, an' I don't wanna go ta' heck!

Don't worry! Remember the days when Unca...er...Uncle Pastor Zeke used to bounce you on his lap, faster and faster until he was all sweaty? He will keep you out of heck with his ministrations.

[Pastor Ezekiel]

Re: No Christian lites!

WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHH!!! !!


I'm eskeered, on accounta I don't weigh a whole lotta poundses. I'm stiow liddow, an' I don't wanna go ta' heck!

Don't fret little princess. Take another look at THIS Bible lesson for tender children like you. Praise Jesus!

[Pastor Billy-Reuben]

Re: No Christian lites!

God Hates Christian Lites!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Amen, Brother!

Liberal churches have pews packed full of folks who are going to be surprised to find themselves the Lake of Fire come judgment day. The so-called pastors in these so-called churches are more interested in tickling peoples ears with a false gospel, telling their congregation what they want to hear instead of what they need to hear. They don't give a hoot if anyone gets saved.

Pastor Billy-Reuben

[Miss Maisie]

Re: No Christian lites!

Don't worry, hun! You seem like such a good little God-fearing girl, I'm sure y'all are headed straight to the Lord if he decides to bless you by taking you up to him early.

[eliot mayfield]

Re: No Christian lites!

I'm sorry to bump this thread, but I've seen too many posts lately that seem a little "lite" on God! People, we run the risk of slipping into the worst sin of all, complacency. Stand up and get that Bible open and preach it.
I want every member of this church to report back next week at this time and say one way they've served God and tried to make the USA a better God fearing country. Name just one way you've tried to get the constitution changed to Biblical law. Name one place where you stood on a corner and preached the word of God to the people!.
The challenge has been set; you lose and you could go to Hell.